Smart, fearless, controversial: these are just a few of the adjectives that can be used to describe comedian Janeane Garofalo. From her early days in stand-up to her current job with Air America Radio, Garofalo has never been afraid to speak her mind about the most divisive political issues of the day. Thats why we didnt interview her. If we had she probably wouldve spent the whole interview talking about abortion and shit, and it would have been really uncomfortable for everybody involved.
So instead, we decided to interview actor/comedian extraordinaire Jim Gaffigan. We knew he wouldnt bring up any lady issues. Jim only talks about cool stuff like food and sleep, and to top it all off hes hysterical. Perhaps best known for his stand-up routine involving Hot Pockets (Pop Tarts with really nasty meat) and manatees (yeah, whatever, sea cow), Jim has appeared on the Late Show with David Letterman a record 11 times (okay, thats his personal record). He has also appeared in numerous film and television roles (That 70s Show, Law and Order, and Super Troopers, just to name a few) as well as several successful ad campaigns (Sierra Mist, ESPN).
The Phat Phree caught up with Jim at his beautiful home somewhere in the New York City area. Once inside, we got Jim to open up about his Hoosier roots, his non-existent feud with Michael Ian Black, and his recent Comedy Central special which will be rebroadcast on February 4th. We also made several cheap gay jokes because were not very confident about our interviewing skills or our sexuality. Sorry.
The Phat Phree: Thanks for agreeing to the interview, and for inviting me into your beautiful home. You have some very interesting artwork. I had no idea you were such an avid collector of Asian erotica.
Jim Gaffigan: That is my wife, sir.
TPP: Oh, you must be very proud. Now then, between all of your stand-up shows and acting gigs Im sure you must be extremely busy. How do you still find time to read The Phat Phree every day?
JG: I dont sleep. It was sleep or The Phat Phree and I chose The Phat Phree.
TPP: You are perhaps best known for your jokes involving Hot Pockets? What led to your fascination with these frozen delicacies?
JG: I suppose the bad advertising and the horrible name. The hot pockets commercial seemed like an old SNL sketch to me.
TPP: Have you ever received an angry letter from the people at Hot Pockets?
JG: Nope. Ive had people that work for the Hot Pocket company buy stacks of CDs, but no complaints.
TPP: Another favorite topic of yours is the Manatee. Why do you hold such a special place in your heart for these odd creatures?
JG: There is something incredibly vulnerable and sweet about the manatee. And frankly I identify with the manatee in many ways.
TPP: On your stand-up album The Last Supper there is a clip of an irate hillbilly woman who was upset with your suggestion that Jesus may have been a shitty carpenter. How does a comedian who focuses mainly on junk food and sea cows still manage to offend people?
JG: Great point. I love when I do a benefit and there a bunch of comics on the line up and the crowd is offended by me. I always think, wow if you find me offensive, you really are gonna have a problem with the people behind me.
TPP: As your numerous pope jokes illustrate, your Catholic upbringing has obviously influenced your stand-up routine. As a Catholic, do you judge my ex-girlfriend, Sarah Johnson, for having several abortions?
JG: It aint easy admitting youre Catholic today. Does you ex-girlfriend judge me?
TPP: Yes. Shes a judgmental bitch. Speaking of the Churchs problems, you once played a pedophile on Law and Order. While you must have been happy to have landed the part, did you find it a bit disturbing that out of all the actors who went out for the role you were chosen as the most believable child molester?
JG: They told me you and your mom werent available for the role so I took it.
TPP: Oh snap! (I high-fived Jim for that one.) A few months back the Phat Phree interviewed your partner from the Sierra Mist commercials, Michael Ian Black (Wet Hot American Summer, Stella). I have it on good authority that claims to have carried you through the all the commercials. Would you care to respond to Mr. Black?
JG: I agree with him totally.
TPP: Did you receive a lifetime supply of Sierra Mist, or any other perks from Pepsi Co. for your work in the commercials?
JG: No, just good old money
TPP: Aside from your commercial work you have appeared in numerous films and television shows, including your own sitcom Welcome to New York. Do you have one role that you consider your favorite?
JG: The role of your friend.
TPP: Pilgrim, you honor me. To what do you attribute the success of your latest show, Life According to Jim?
JG: That I get to do a song every couple episodes and- Hey, wait That isnt me.
TPP: Oh? Is staring in another sitcom something you are still actively pursuing?
JG: I pursue all kinds of acting work. If I had my choice Id rather be in a dramedy.
TPP: Speaking of camels, your most recent film, The Great New Wonderful, deals with life in post 9-11 New York. In your opinion, why all these terrorists be haten on our freedom, and shit?
JG: So basically you are saying you hate America. Unlike you I love this country.
TPP: You had a brief role along side Kieran Culkin in the film Igby Goes Down. Do you find Kieran to be more or less sexy than Macaulay, and why?
JG: I seem to always find women more sexy than men. Im weird like that.
TPP: So youd choose Macaulay. Interesting choice. Meow, where were we? Ha! Do you get it! I said meow instead of now, just like in Super Troopers! Its a line from your movie! Meow! Ha! Arent I funny; funny just like that movie?
JG: If I had a nickel for every time someone said meow to me, Id be a nickelaire.
TPP: Wow, its hot in here. If its all the same to you Im just going to take off my shirt.
JG: Feel free. Wow Im glad I didnt eat before this.
TPP: Theyre not that big. At any rate, both stand-up comedy and acting are very daunting professions. What drove you toward these potentially glamorous, but brutally unforgiving careers: abandonment issues, childhood molestation, or both?
JG: Can we keep your issues out of this? I got into stand up so I could meet you.
TPP: What do you think youd be doing today if you had not pursued comedy/acting?
JG: Probably napping.
TPP: If its all the same to you Im just going gently run my fingers through your chest hair.
JG: Um, ok.
TPP: Soft. You recently filmed an hour-long stand-up special for Comedy Central. Since its an hour long as opposed to the usual half-hour it sounds like its going to be a big deal. What can we expect when it airs this month?
JG: Well it will be an hour long. Um Ill be in it. Uh its on Comedy Central February 4th at 7 and 11pm.
TPP: You filmed the special in Chicago. Any particular reason for that?
JG: I wanted to do the special in the Midwest and I grew up outside of Chicago.
TPP: Speaking of which, you often refer to your move from Indiana to New York City as an immigrant experience. As an immigrant, how do you justify stealing a real Americans job, exploiting social services, and overflowing the schools with your filthy, non-assimilating Midwestern children?
JG: I want my kid to run for president.
TPP: As a fellow native of Northwest Indiana (a.k.a. the Region), I just have to ask. Do you miss being close to the city of Gary?
JG: Gary is an amazing place. I dont think people realize Gary is where they make the Pooh smell.
TPP: Do you get back to Indiana often? Is there anything you miss about the place?
JG: My brother and his family live back in Indiana. I love seeing them. There are some good burger places back there too.
TPP: Its no secret that fellow Hosier David Letterman is big fan of yours, so much so that he produced your sitcom. Given your relationship with Letterman do you think there is any chance of replacing him when he decides to retire?
JG: Oh, I think that is a long shot.
TPP: Then where do you see Jim Gaffigan 10 years from now?
JG: Possibly done with this long-ass interview.
TPP: Okay, assuming time travel is made possible, where do you see Jim Gaffigan 500 years from now?
JG: I get this question a lot. I think Ill be working in a deli.
TPP: Anything else youd like to plug?
JG: My DVD Beyond the Pale comes out Feb 2nd and has tons of extras like my first stand up set, my tour of Chicago and how to break into stand up.
The Phat 5 Questions: Heres an exercise we do with everyone we interview. The Phat 5: Five rapid-fire questions designed to hate-fuck your psyche and leave you crying on the floor. Are you ready, mother fucker?
1). Dane Cook; hot or not?
JG: Um hot, I guess. I cant get in that kind of shape
2). Marry, Fuck, or Kill: David Letterman, Jay Leno, Jimmy Kimmel
JG: Are all these questions gonna be homophobic?
3). Homophobic; no. Homoerotic; yes! Favorite television show of all-time?
JG: Law & Order
4). Who was the best host of the Family Feud- Richard Dawson, Ray Combs, Louie Anderson, or Richard Karn?
JG: That is easy; Louie Anderson
5). The Bible: true or false?
JG: That must be a new book, right?
Bonus Question: Hot Pockets or Steakms?
JG: Oh, Hot pockets for sure
TPP: Jim, thanks for agreeing to the interview. If its all the same to you Im just going to put my pants back on and go home. Ive got a busy day tomorrow.
JG: OK. does that mean I can get out of the tub?
Jims Comedy Central stand-up special will be rebroadcast on February 4th at 7:00 pm EST and 11:00 pm EST. He will also be appearing on Late Night with Conan OBrien on Wednesday, February 1st. His new DVD and CD, Beyond the Pale, will be released February 7th. Pre-order now at Amazon.com. To learn more about the goodness that is Jim Gaffigan, visit his website at www.jimgaffigan.com. Tell em the Phat Phree sent ya. Dont really tell em that. They wouldnt care.
Aces Posted: 3/7/2006by: Windy Mathews, please write more articles. Make fun of anything, anyone, it doesn't matter. Just make sure your articles are on this site more often!!! Borat is smoking crack Posted: 3/2/2006by: DD Dear Mr. Borat,
Whoever you are,
You''re high bro. Gaffigan is way funnier. Listen to him sometime when you can find time to come down off your highhorse. Seriously, don't be a jackass.
Ramondo mush and jim Posted: 2/3/2006by: mogey A little mush a six and jim gafigan will put you in a zone. No comedian has ever made me jaugh like that ! thanks jim! cant wait to meltdown with jim again ! Good work Posted: 2/2/2006by: Crapnafli So when is the Janeane Garofalo interview going to be posted? Gaffigan Posted: 2/2/2006by: rich Jim Gaffigan is one of the funniest comics out there. I've had the pleasure to see him dozens of times in NYC. Anyone who bad mouths him has never seen him before. He's a real comic's comic. Comedienne Posted: 2/2/2006by: Mack I agree Gaffigan was a bit muted. But, there were times when he set Matthews up for a follow-up question, but Matthews skipped right onto HIS next joke. GOOD SHIT Posted: 2/1/2006by: AT i think this is really funny stuff.. i don't know who jim gaffigan is and for me this kind of humor really depends on the personality they're coming from. and i only know the interviewer is one funny muh'fucker.. good job, mathews. you crack me up. Usually it doesn't work Posted: 2/1/2006by: Mortimer Duke when the interviewer tries to ask funny questions because funny questions don't usually elicit funny answers (because it's like telling a joke twice). The questions here were funny enough that it worked though. Promote this man! Gomer Pile Posted: 2/1/2006by: Borat I don' t want to see Jason. I was joking. Zanies Posted: 1/31/2006by: Gomer Zanies sends free tickets for nearly every show. I went there three months ago and I've been sent 20 free tickets (no joke) since then. Oh, if you want to see Jason, go to Lachettes on Irving Park. Jason will probably be there.
