'I like to imagine myself fucking the young lady in the video...'
WASHINGTON, D.C. Republican Senator Ted Stevens, chairman of the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation scored a victory in his effort to clean up the entertainment industry with the passing of his One Dick Bill this week. Passing by an 86-14 vote that split both parties, the bill prohibits the appearance of more than one penis in any pornographic scene or photo.
Following the vote, Stevens spoke to reporters about his efforts to promote decency. Today we have scored the first of many victories in our battle for family values. I know that when I am watching pornography, nothing makes my dick turtle faster than the appearance of a second giant cock. I like to imagine myself fucking the young lady in the video, and thats hard enough to do when the guy in the movie has cock the size of Mag-Lite and the free clip is only 59 seconds long. But when another dude shows up, it ruins it for me. I mean, am I supposed to imagine that I have two rock-hard cocks? Thats ridiculous.
He went on to talk about the prevalence of what he calls dick-heavy pornography, If I thought the American people could easily avoid this problem, it wouldnt be an issue, but as I browse Cum2eat.com looking for free clips from Asian Beaver, MILF Hunter, and Peter North, I cant help but stumble upon clips of gangbangs and worse, tranny sex. Ive tried to just focus on the girlor in the case of tranny videos, the boobsbut I just cant get past all the big, hairy hands. Believe me, Ive tried. The other night I was jerking off for an hour and half. I was drenched in sweat, but every time I got close, Id click on some video a girl who looked like she was being roasted on a spit. Thats not at all romantic. Now this wont be a problem for me, or for anyone else.
'I prefer FuckingMachines.com, but I don't want to tell anyone what they can't watch.
Senator Barbara Boxer (D) from California, who voted against the bill, was concerned. What right do we have as legislators to tell people what they are allowed to view when they masturbate? I know that when Im flicking the bean, I like to see a beautiful actress getting plugged in every hole. Its just what I dig Whats next? No throat fucking?
Kay Bailey Hutchison, a Republican Senator from Texas, also voted against the bill. She released a statement expressing her disappointment. In it, she is quoted as saying, It is unfortunate that certain Senators feel it their duty to legislate taste. It is truly a dark day in our history when you cant see a bound woman receive dozens of cumshots on her face. I am a devout Christian and I find the inability to appreciate the aesthetic beauty of several vein riddled, ebony cocks to be an affront to the Goodness of our Lord Jesus Christ.
California Representative David Dreier (R) has come out against the proposed bill and has vowed to fight it in the House. I dont know what the problem is. I am totally 1000% hetero. I love chicks. But even I can appreciate when two good-looking men explore each others oiled bodies. I like the ones with construction workers. Theres nothing like seeing a bunch of filthy guys wind down after a long, hard days work by fucking each otherespecially when they are equally adept tops and bottoms.
Senator Stevens has vowed his next target will be outlawing the use of cilantro in Mexican restaurants. I just dont like the taste of it. It tastes like soap, and could influence our children to dislike Mexican food altogether.
Great Article Posted: 9/27/2006by: Jason M. Fuck cilantro! Fabulous Posted: 9/26/2006by: Tom A Just awesome, Mr. Colo. cheeri-O Posted: 9/26/2006by: antony personally, i prefer german porn where blonde haired, blue eyed, white devils are dressed up like nazis and forced to give rim jobs to ultra-dark skinned black dominatrix women. "Lecken Sie jene schwarze Beute, Teufel!" Hey... Posted: 9/26/2006by: David Drier I'm not gay! Seriously, I might live with my male chief of staff, but I've voted agaist all those pro-gay bills! That should prove I'm not gay! Come on, I'm a Republican for God's sake, and I'm up for reelection in November. I love women and boobs and stuff. Hilarious Posted: 9/26/2006by: YodelSlut This was great. The photos make it brilliant.
