Country Singer Sarah Evans recently left the hit show Dancing with the Stars. Evans sat down with The Phat Phree to discuss the reasons behind her abrupt departure.
The Phat Phree: Who are you?
Sara Evans: Well, I think right now Im just in shock. If you had asked me when I was a little girl if I ever
TPP: No, not how; who? Who the hell are you?
Evans: Im Sarah Evans, the country music singer.
TPP: Hmm, are you a Dixie Chick?
Evans: No. I sang the hit song Suds in the Bucket.
TPP: What the hell are you talking about?
Evans: I sang at the 2004 Republican National Convention. Remember?
TPP: HAHAHA! No.
Evans: I was voted CMT Female Vocalist of the Year.
TPP: Really? Whats CMT?
Evans: Country Music Television.
TPP: Oh, is that show youre leaving?
Evans: No, Im leaving Dancing with the Stars.
TPP: I see. Whats that?
Evans: Its a dancing completion that pairs celebrities with ballroom dancers.
TPP: Oh, yeah, my grandma watches that shit. Is Springer on that show?
Evans: Jerry Springer, Mario Lopez, Joey Lawrence
TPP: Sounds really fucking lame. I can see why you would leave.
Evans: No, I loved being on the show, but with all the craziness I just couldnt go on.
TPP: What craziness?
Evans: Between me and Craig.
TPP: Whos Craig?
Evans: My husband, Craig Schelske. Were getting a divorce.
TPP: Oh, why?
Evans: He was constantly drinking.
TPP: So?
Evans He was frequently viewing pornography on our home computer.
TPP: So?
Evans: He had over 100 nude pictures of himself. But worst of all, he was sleeping with other women, including our nanny.
TPP: Thats awful.
Evans: I know, had I gone on with the show I would have had a nervous breakdown. When someone you love and trust betrays
TPP: I mean, why would a man take nude pictures of himself? Was he really big, or something?
Evans: What?
TPP: You know, down there? (pointing at crotch)
Evans: Please stop
TPP: I mean, a hundred pictures. He must have been huge, right?
Evans: Look, right now I just need to be with my son, to look at him at all times, to see the expressions on his face, and, ya know, see if hes crying, and put him on the phone with our pastor immediately.
TPP: Wow, thats creepy.
Evans: I just need to take care of my children, and nothing in my career, no television show, nothing is more important than that.
TPP: Sure, whatever.
Evans: Before we end I just want to say that I have felt so much love and support from the fans
TPP: What fans?
Evans: even before all this happened. It's so humbling and I'll never forget it. I will never forget every second of this experience.
TPP: What the fuck are you talking about? Stop talking.
Evans: I just want to thank everybody from the bottom of my heart and I will come back for the finale if I'm invited.
TPP: Jesus Christ! What finale?
Evans: For Dancing with the Stars.
TPP: Again with that CMT shit?
Evans: ABC.
 | 'Sweater pups' for Kotter. |
TPP: Lets just end this, Sandra,
Evans: Sarah!
TPP: It doesnt matter, lady.
 |
