Theres a problem. Its mid-November and there are only three undefeated teams left in the BCS. Two of them are playing one another. The third (which has never won a bowl game and was an atrocity five years ago) still has three games left, two on the road, one of which is against a team that is 7-1 and thought it had a great chance of being in Glendale just a couple of weeks ago. It is highly that we wont have enough unbeaten teams to make a pair in the BCS Championship Game.
As long as the true playoff doesnt exist, theres no point in having a championship game in college football if one contestant is undefeated and the other, isnt. Whatever not-undefeated team that is, its in the championship game over any one of a number of other not-undefeated teams; meaning, its in the game thanks to some other factor than one happens on the field. It still comes down to the judges, like figure skating.
Lets say Florida and USC win out, and add in the team that doesnt survive The Game of All That is Light and Matter on November 18. Those are three one-loss teams youve got to pick from to make a dance partner for either the Bucks or the Wolverines in the BCS title game. How do you justify- really justify- picking any one over the others? You cant, really. You might as well have the three meet at a truck stop and flip coins for the spot, a la Permian, Midland High, and Midland Lee in Friday Night Lights.
A college football championship game should be definitive. Ohio State-Miami was definitive; the last two undefeated teams. Texas-USC was definitive; the last two undefeated teams. Once you introduce computer points, coachs polls, and the opinions of journalists to the process, youve gotten away from definitive, and that means youve gotten away from the reason to have a championship game in the first place. So why bother?
Fix the BCS? Theres nothing to fix. Find a pair of undefeated teams to square off, or dont bother. If there arent two, you might as well just let the bowls play out and see what happens.
So as an alternative to the silliness of picking a 2nd BCS finalist where there is only one undefeated- if there is only one undefeated- here is an back-to-the-future bowl scenario; one straight out of 1982. Instead of 32 bowls, including the BCS title game, weve cut it down to 19. As it stands right now, 64 out of the 117 I-A teams are bowl eligible- 55 percent. Thats waaaaay too many. This altered formula only sends 32 percent of I-A teams to bowls, and eliminates, or at any rate dramatically reduces, the craptacular match-ups that are an unfortunate result of the bowl glut.
The scheduled BCS title game? Gone. There are only four January 1 bowls; the Fiesta, the Rose, the Orange, and the Sugar. And the season ends on New Years Day, not the week after. The Rose Bowl will revert strictly to the Big 10-Pac-10 match-up; the SEC champ goes to the Sugar Bowl; the ACC champ gets the Orange Bowl, the Big 12 champ gets the Fiesta Bowl, and the Big East champ just kind of gets in where it fits in (if and when there is a bowl game in NYC, that can be the Big Easts auto-bid).
There was a thought about making the Cotton Bowl the auto-bid for the Big 12, and restoring it to its former glory, prestige, and cache, a worthy prize for the champ of the defunct Southwestern Conference but then I remembered that the Cotton Bowl is played in a crappy old stadium, in the wilds of south Dallas, and in weather that varies year to year from balmy to cold, wet, and generally miserable. Better to stick with Arizona and that sweet new stadium they have out there (same old Cardinals playing there on Sundays, though).
As for the non-BCS conferences; the Holiday Bowl is the Mountain Wests auto-bid; the Las Vegas Bowl the WACs; the Motor City the MACs; the Liberty Bowl C-USAs; and the Music City Bowl the Sun Belts. The winner of the Commander-in-Chief Trophy gets the Mobile Alabama Bowl in Mobile (the re-named GMAC). Hawaii retains its home bowl game. There is no Big East #2 vs. Big 12 #6-style tie-in. Aside from conference-champion affiliations, all bids are at-large.
Also eliminated are the two great evils of bowl season- corporate sponsorship and the pre-noon start for New Years Day games which, by the way, is just about the stupidest thing ever foisted on the viewing public.
Presupposed is the following:
Nebraska will beat Texas in the Big 12 title game: Yes, thats right. Colt McCoy is still a little green, and he got put on queer street by K-State the other night. Its tough to beat a team twice in the same season (right?). Were not sold on Mack Brown coaching in big games without Vince Young. And the Big 12 Championship Game is in Arrowhead Stadium, a lot closer to Lincoln than to Austin. Those are the reasons were taking Nebraska over the Horns for the Big 12 title. Florida will beat Arkansas in the SEC title game: Ill reluctantly buy into the Florida hype, at least temporarily. The Hogs are playing the best football in the conference right now, but fair or not, I just cant get that 50-14 disaster against USC out of my mind. Georgia Tech will beat somebody in the ACC title game: Georgia Tech will be the best team on the field, partly because the Yellowjackets will have the best player on the field (Calvin Johnson) and partly because I cant possibly pick a conference champion out of the Atlantic and in fact, have no freaking idea who is going to rep that division in the first place. Ohio U. will beat Central Michigan in the MAC title game: Im going with the Bobcats because, in cases of ignorance, I always go for a team with Ohio in its name. Rutgers will lose: Certainly possible, since Rutgers has to go to Morgantown in December, as well as to Cincinnati next week to face a Bearcat team that will be emotional and well-prepared defensively for a Rutgers team that will need all of Greg Schiano's considerable magic to not let down after the Louisville game. That, by the way, was simply an unreal college football game. USC will win the Pac-10: Sure, the Trojans have been vulnerable at times this year, but Ive got to be the state of Missouri when it comes to them losing at home in the Coliseum. Ohio State will beat Michigan: Thats all I can say about this one, for now. More later (maybe).
The Bowls
Music City Bowl (Nashville), December 15: Middle Tennessee State vs. Boston College- Bowl season kicks off 142 years to the day after General George Thomas attacked the Army of Tennessee just south of the city of Nashville. MTSU gets another shot at a major opponent; they lost 24-10 at Maryland in September, and in October they put a mild scare into Louisville before falling 44-17. This placement is kind of a diss to BC, but everybody knows people in New England dont really give a rats ass about football anyway, so whatever.
Motor City Bowl (Detroit), December 18, 5:30 PM: Ohio University vs. Clemson- Having to play in Detroit a week before Christmas is a deserved reward for Clemson; especially for the brainiac who calls plays for the Tigers. Barry Goldwater was never as conservative as Clemson was in the back-to-back losses to Va Tech and Maryland that erased them from BCS contention. This would be Ohio U.s first bowl appearance since a 49-42 loss to Richmond in the 1968 Tangerine Bowl, as Frank Solich has brought the Bobcat program and his coaching career back from the dead.
Hall of Fame Bowl (Tampa), December 20, 7:30 PM: South Florida vs. Kansas State- In other words, the Outback Bowl, except without the corporate name and two weeks earlier. The Bulls get a home game and a second crack at a Big 12 school in Kansas (they lost to the Jayhawks in Lawrence early in the season). K-State gets a trip to Florida as a reward for actually improving in year one of the post-Snyder era.
Independence Bowl (Shreveport, LA), December 21, 7:30 PM: Missouri vs. Penn State- Shreveport is within driving distance of Columbia, so Mizzou should bring mad heads to this game. Also, the match-up is a nod to history. In 1969, Penn State, then an Eastern Independent, were undefeated and offered a slot in the Cotton Bowl against fellow unbeaten Texas. Paterno ducked the invite, instead taking a bid to the Orange Bowl, where they beat Big 8 Champ Missouri, 10-3 and finished #2. Texas beat Notre Dame in the Cotton Bowl and finished the season #1. Penn State fans have asininely complained about this ever since (Ohio State was the best team that year anyway. BTW, that 69 Texas team was the last all-white team to win a NC).
Holiday Bowl (San Diego), December 22, 8:00 PM: Brigham Young vs. California- BYU, San Diego, late December- just like old times, when the WAC champ went to the Holiday Bowl, and the WAC champ was always BYU. Whether it is Bronco Mendenhalls coaching or the revival of the classic white Y helmet, the Cougs have become born-again hard, if not Christian. They even bring along a prolific passer (John Beck), like Nielson, Wilson, McMahon, Young, Bosco, Detmer, and Walsh before him. Beck will duo in the skies with Ryan Longshore as the Cal Bears return to the scene of their 2004 humiliation at the hands of Texas Tech.
Hawaii Bowl (Honolulu), December 25, 6:00 PM: Hawaii vs. Notre Dame- Domer homers may feel a little short-changed but really, were just trying to do the Irish a solid here. This is a game they actually have a chance to win; something they havent done in a bowl since 1994. Isnt that better than getting an undeserved major bowl bid and getting teed off on? Sure it is. Besides, this would be a pretty exciting potential duel between Colt Brennan and Brady Quinn.
And I just like the idea of loading Charlie and the Irish onto a plane and sending them out to practically Asia for a bowl game. It makes them an afterthough- which they should be, considering Notre Dames greatest win of the decade is a loss.
Las Vegas Bowl (Las Vegas), December 26, 7:30 PM: Boise State vs. Virginia Tech- The auto-bid for the WAC champ. No more late December freeze-bowls on the Smurf Turf. Its all about Vegas on Boxing Night. Boise which would really lurv a Fiesta Bowl date with Texas, would be screwed into their dinky-bowl conference commitment. But they will have a chance to play a good ACC school, as well as an actual good defense, for a change. The last time Boise played a BCS school from east of the Rockies, 2005, they were murdered by Georgia between the hedges, 48-13.
Mobile Alabama Bowl (Mobile, AL), December 27, 4:30 PM: Navy vs. Tennessee- UT gets stuck in the proverbial no-win situation: a match-up against a service academy. But thats what the Vols deserve for being the most balanced team in the SEC and still not winning the conference because they cant close games at home. The last time they played a service academy, in September, the Vols came within a missed two-point conversion attempt of losing to Air Force. So theyd better not come into this one flat.
Alamo Bowl (San Antonio, TX), December 27, 8:00 PM: Oklahoma vs. Oregon State- We cant resist the opportunity to match-up the Sooners with a Pac-10 team, and from the state of Oregon at that. Bob Stoopss boys might like a chance to punish the Beavers for the sins committed on behalf of that schools Civil War rival. Especially if the refs are from the Big 12 which, of course, they wont be.
Gator Bowl (Jacksonville), December 28, 7:30 PM: Wake Forest vs. Oregon- No need to send Wake too far from Winston-Salem; no school with 4,000 undergrads is going to travel for squat. No such consideration for the Ducks, who will have to fly 2,500 miles from the Pacific Northwest to Floridas Atlantic coast. One player on Oregons roster hails from the state of Florida- RaShon Harris, a sophomore defensive tackle from Pensacola. These teams have played before in a bowl; the 92 Independence, when the Deacons edged the Ducks 39-35. This was just after the heyday of Bill Musgrave and the Quack Attack in Eugene.
Sun Bowl (El Paso, TX), December 29, 3:00 PM: Texas A&M vs. Tulsa- The Aggies get the in-state trip to El Paso. The Golden Hurricane, BCS outsiders from C-USA, get the opportunity to make like Dallas, Darrie, Pony Boy and Soda Pop and treat the Socs from the Big 12 like white trash with Mustangs and madras (whatever the hell madras are).
Liberty Bowl (Memphis), December 29, 7:30 PM: Houston vs. LSU- The automatic bid for the Conference-USA champion features the Cougars in a regional battle against LSU, located just a couple hundred miles down I-10. Kevin Kolb (2,999 passing yards, 23 TDs, 3 INTs) goes up against an LSU defense giving up a meager 10.4 points per game. Will Shaq and Hakeem lay a wager on this one?
Cotton Bowl (Dallas), December 30, 1:00 PM:Texas vs. Wisconsin- Two very large schools that travel very well. Playing in Dallas will guarantee a huge turnout for the Longhorns, and its a lead-pipe cinch that there will be a regular armada of red-painted RVs highballing down I-35 South, carrying the Badger nation to Big D. Wisconsin is the most anonymous one-loss team in the BCS, because their OOC schedule was a joke and they didnt play Ohio State.
Citrus Bowl (Orlando), December 30, 4:30 PM: Maryland vs. Louisville- Both of these teams have the same color scheme, making the action look like an intra-squad scrimmage rather than a real game, but its still a chance to hash out a grudge match between two conferences that, as Keith Jackson says, just dont like each other. Six of Marylands eight wins have come by six points or less. Louisville has looked a lot less explosive than normal and had its offense destroyed in the second half against Rutgers. Two flawed teams- a perfect ACC-Big East bout.
Peach Bowl (Atlanta), December 31, 7:30 PM: Auburn vs. Rutgers- The resurrected Scarlet Knights dont get one of the coveted January 1 slots, but they do get a very nice consolation prize- a New Years Eve, nationally-televised ho-down with a marquee power. Transplanted Jerseyites (and there have to be a lot of them in and around Chocolate City) will be out in solid numbers. If you like smash-mouth football, youll get it here. Bet the under, and remember-Its New Years Eve, so have some drinks while you chop wood with the Knights.
The New Years Day Bowls
Fiesta Bowl (Glendale, AZ), January 1, 2:00 PM: Nebraska vs. Arkansas- Houston Nutt takes his Razorbacks into a New Years Day fight against the school he spurned a few years ago. Its good that Nutt stayed in Fayetteville- he turned his team around, and really, no man with a name like his should coach outside the state of Arkansas, or outside the South at any rate. With Darren McFadden over 1,200 yards and Felix Jones at 786 with two games to play, the Hogs have at least an outside shot at pulling a Byner-and-Mack and getting two RBs over 1,000. McFadden, by the way, ought to get some Heisman love- he has 1,219 rushing yards, 13 touchdowns, and in Payton-esque fashion has even thrown two TD passes.
Congratulations are in order for the Cornhuskers, who have clinched the championship of the Big 12 North, without a doubt the worst division in the BCS. And to Zac Taylor, The Zac Attack, who replaced Vince Ferragamo as Nebraskas all-time leading passer.
Rose Bowl (Pasadena, CA), January 1, 4:30 PM: Ohio State vs. USC- As it should be; the Buckeyes and the Trojans, Big 10 and Pac-10 champions respectively, meeting to settle accounts under a setting sun, the San Gabriels in the background. It would be the equivalent of those Steelers-Cowboys Super Bowls in the 70s- a Battle of the Decade, as it stands now at least (with a nod to the Miami teams of early in the 00's). The Sweater Vest vs. Petey in Pasadena. To hell with a title game- who wouldnt want to watch this freaking donnybrook? Besides, if enough things happen or dont happen, this could very well be a #1 vs. #2 match-up; a happy accident of the old-school bowl season.
Urban: Quit bitchin' and keep winnin'
Orange Bowl (Unincorporated Dade County, FL), January 1, 7:30 PM: Georgia Tech vs. Michigan- This is by no stretch of the imagination a successful denouement to a Wolverine season with serious-as-a-heart attack National Championship aspirations. To go from playing the Game of the Sum of Human Existence in Columbus to a match-up with a team from the AC-freaking-C might cause a letdown of Kansas State proportions in Ann Arbor. The Rambling Wreck, on the other hand, would be delighted with this game. They began the year by gorking at home against Notre Dame in a game they probably should have won, and will get to end it against another major opponent. The dual between Johnson of Georgia Tech and Manningham of Michigan should be pretty sweet.
Sugar Bowl (New Orleans), January 1, 8:30 PM: Florida vs. West Virginia- For the second year in a row, the champions of the SEC and the Big East meet on January 1. This one is a rematch of the 94 Sugar Bowl, a game West Virginia went into undefeated before being destroyed by Spurriers Gators, 41-7. I picked WVU out of a three-way tie for the Big East title over Louisville and Rutgers. The Mountaineers have the best OOC win of the three (over Maryland) and have been the most dominant team- aside from the meltdown in Louisville, they have won every game by at least 17 points. Floridas task is to get revenge on behalf of the entire SEC for what West V did to Georgia in last years Sugar Bowl. To do so, they might want to score more than 23.5 points per game theyve averaged in their last eight games. Nobody has stopped West Virginias offense this season.
There you have it. Under this alternative system, we wouldnt have to put up with the pretense of a fair, just process in picking a second team for a National Championship Game. We wouldnt have to put up with the shrieks of anguish from the schools that felt they wuz robbed. Just chuck the whole damn process and revert back to the old bowl system. Why pretend youre fixing the problem when you know pretending is all youre doing?
Don't Know Much About Posted: 11/15/2006by: Tangent Guy college football, but I do know that ND fan squeals like a pig anytime their precious "Rudys" get dogged out.
I agree that Rutgers will fall, but I'm feeling OSU - Boise Boyz in the Nat'l Champeenship. After OSU whips that ass, maybe all of the mid-majors will shut up and stop trying to play in the grown up's room.
What's the Title, Again? Posted: 11/15/2006by: Tom A Hey Steve, "not as...", etc.:
*al tern a tive* adj.
Existing outside traditional or established institutions or systems: e.g. an *alternative* hypothesis. Espousing or reflecting values that are different from those of the establishment or mainstream: an *alternative newspaper*; *alternative* greeting cards.
Or...
An *alternative* Bowl Scenario."
Get it?
Now don't forget your tennies, boys - you have gym class tomorrow...
Ooooh so close.... Posted: 11/15/2006by: Derek Wow this article almost hit the nail right on the head. The only problem? Michigan is going to beat Ohio State's ass. GO BLUE! Are you kidding me? Posted: 11/15/2006by: Not as retarded as you You do know that the Las Vegas bowl is the Pac-10 #4 and the MWC #1? Since Virginia Tech is in the ACC how can they make that bowl game? Get a clue, this was the worst article on I have read on here jon Posted: 11/15/2006by: deuce nd doesn't play cal this year, gaybag. Woo pig soooie Posted: 11/15/2006by: Jon Notre Dame loses to Cal. Ohio State beats Michigan, The Hogs swamp the Gators in the SEC championship, USC loses to Notre Dame, Rutgers loses, Ohio State and Michigan finish the season ranked #1 & #2 but the BCS won't put a conference rematch in it's championship game, Arkansas makes it to the championship game. steve Posted: 11/15/2006by: deuce as an addendum to what tom a wrote:
you now hold the "record for idiotic college football commentary. "
congratulations. Christine Posted: 11/15/2006by: Brown Sugar Just a shout out to Christine... Sorry Jesse and all other commentors, but Christine is one to be pursued! Love you Christine! Steve Posted: 11/15/2006by: Tom A Read the *entire* first sentence, including the "in the BCS" part.
Now apologize to Jesse, go peel some more potatoes, and paint your fucking field GREEN, you irrelevant dork.
P.S. Masturbate and take a shower, too. Depth of Knowledge Posted: 11/15/2006by: Burt Thaxton Jesse,
Your depth of knowledge is deep and wide.
Get laid, buddy. Get laid.
-Burt F. Thaxton.
P.S - jus' joshin ya. I have not watched a minute of college football this year, but I will be able to wow anyone knowledge gleaned from this article.
P.P.S - FUCK MICHIGAN. WITH A GIANT CORNCOB. WHOOPS - MAIZECOB!
