 | This is where I make love. |
My favorite place is where I keep the bodies. I cant really tell you where it is, since its kind of a secret. I dont know what it is, but it seems to get smaller and more crammed every year. But its still a great quiet place for me to read, work on my diaries, fold my clothes, and do a little cross dressingI mean, cross stitching on the weekends. No one really values silence anymoreand where I keep the bodies is a great place to just get away from it all.
I find the monochromatic color scheme to be very therapeutic.
Ive always been one for minimalism, and Im really happy with the way Ive furnished the place. Some call it Goth, but I think of it more as post-industrial modernism. Continuing the tour, youll find that past the 2-in-1 dining table/cutting board combo that my humble abode is very austere and lacking of a lot of the creative comforts. You might even say that its kinda got a Zen thing going on too. I was thinking about putting a little rock garden in next to the TV, but until the Johnson family leaves, I dont think Ill have enough room. Theyre a nice family but I dont think theyll be leaving anytime soon.
I make sure to keep only the bare necessities in my room:
 | Aww. Isn't that just precious? A mother and her son. They love it here. They just won't leave! |
Wood chipper, 50 gallon drum, shrink wrap, industrial zip-tie dispenser, a brand new autoclave that Im pretty excited about, a giant vat, frozen burritos, hand moisturizer, leather clothing (for when Im feeling a little frisky during the after-hours), and the first five seasons of MacGyver DVDs. I also have a rug thats always damp, a bean bag chair thats too small, and a black 15 inch Zenith television that gets about two channels on a good day. Other than that its just them.
In my austere surroundings coupled with the solitude, I find it ripe for the pursuit of some of my hobbies:
Taxidermy, upholstery, and macram. I also indulge in certain culinary endeavors: given the right temperature, the place is ideal for canning seasonal items, like tourists. I like making jewelry out of cereal, like Fruit Loops necklaces and Cheerios anklets. I fancy myself as a bit of a saucier also. In addition to honing my Abasination skills, flaying technique, and my water-boarding etiquette, Ive been keeping busy building my own Brazen Bull. The Bull has always been my favorite torture device, and I foresee many fun days with it as soon as Im finished with it, petit social gatherings will never be the same again.
 | They taste great canned. |
In most circumstances Im not very sociable, but Im the life of the party there.
Its a place where I feel really comfortable and I have everything I need, and its a great place for me to pursue my hobbies. A lot of people find my favorite place a little uncomfortable at first, but once they get to know me, they find it to be a very hard place to leave. I just cant get them out of there.
So I invite you all to my favorite place, Im sure youll find it to be pretty hard to leave, whether it be the complimentary Hawaiian Punch or the rigor mortis.
 |
