"Samantha", "Charlotte", "Big", "Miranda" and Me, "Carrie"
Wait, I just realized something. Oh my God, you guys - we are JUST like the girls on "Sex and the City"! We're all single, successful, beautiful women living in the Big City. Well, we might live in Kansas City - but it's still a city! We're basically just like Carrie Bradshaw and Friends!
Okay, let me elaborate. Since I write "My Heart, This Land", a regular advice column for the KC Union Weekly, I get to be Carrie. Also we're both blonde, wacky, self-absorbed man-haters. Plus, my column has a lot of rhetorical questions, metaphors about dating and poorly developed theories about what men really want. Carrie loves having Cosmopolitans at Suede, and I love having Smirnoff Ices at Pat McGuire's Pub and Grill. Same difference.
Janet, you're probably Miranda. I know she's a well-to-do lawyer and you're just an assistant at a law firm who barely scrapes by, but its close enough. I mean, you DID finally pay off your Camry - that's pretty successful. Also, you're the more practical, mom-like one who is overly neurotic and seems to hate fun. Also, she's kind of fugly and, no offense or anything, but we all know that you get laid the least. And your hair dye is reddish.
Jeanelle, you're DEFINITELY Samantha. Seeing as how you've fucked every potent man in Kansas City that you're not related to, you are our own shining little beacon of female sexual empowerment. Remember, girl - next time you're laying there, legs flopping around in the air in a cheap Motel 6, being savagely pounded by some methed-up trucker passing through town, you are not a slut. You are Samantha. Go, girl!
So that leaves you, Tricia. You would have to be Charlotte. It makes sense if you think about it - she's a prissy socialite desperate for a husband and children. You're a divorcee who blew her marriage settlement on painkillers and a Talbots account. Basically, the only difference is that you already have children - but since the court said you can't see them, it's kind of the same thing. Also, you're a superficial, spoiled bitch who thinks her shit smells like butterflies and rose petals.
Just look at us, ladies - sitting here having brunch together, talking about boys and careers and relationships. Just like the girls on "Sex and the City"! Speaking of brunch, what are you guys gonna have?
I think I'm going to go with the Grand Slam Breakfast.
Hugh Posted: 5/20/2005by: Bo-Bo What is Sex in the City? Porn? hilarious Posted: 5/18/2005by: Charlie Robert E. Lee Wrote:
"if you think about it SATC is just like the prequel to the Golden Girls"
Hilarious! I haven't laughed that hard in a week.
originality does come with a price Posted: 5/18/2005by: Robert. E. Lee yea...you should be yourself...if you think about it SATC is just like the prequel to the Golden Girls...so if you think about it, as hip as you think you are, you all are going to get so old that cottage cheese is going to secrete from your nasty loose skin vagina lips... Great Job! Posted: 5/18/2005by: Brenda Della Casa Alex, this was great! The sad thing is, if you watch SATC back to back on demand (as I will admit I have) you realize they are just a bunch of sad, slutty women with alcohol problems who eat too much.
That said, I have to go and write my next piece for the site.
OMG, I am just like Carrie!!!! awesome Posted: 5/18/2005by: Silentbobbyd Great article. Man I hate Sarah Jessica Parker with the intensity of a thousand suns. She is so unattractive that I wouldn't even let her play with my pet rat for the fear of her scaring it into a petrified, pussy gerbil.
