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We know what you gonna say
Contemporary radio formats are as stale now as they've ever been. Having been glued to our Ipods for the past 3 years, Rick Falcon and Jim Fath felt compelled to revisit this age old entertainment format for this week's list.
Our plan was simple; we'd listen to nothing but radio for a week and see what we found. On day two Rick contemplated suicide and Jim destroyed his stereo, clock radio, and his Toyota factory cassette stereo. So after only after a days worth of listening we present to you following list:
The Ultimate 11 Radio Formats
Local Sports Talk DJ
This poor bastard has to fill three hours, every day, even during baseball season. And you can only interview a relief pitcher so many times. That means he has to fill the majority of the time taking calls from moron sports fans. He doesn't want to sound completely rude when they call in with completely ridiculous trade scenarios that would never happen and retarded commentary about last night's game. But you can hear his contempt for these mouth-breathers grow with each passing day.
Classic Rock DJ
Would it kill you to mix it up a little, Classic Rock DJ? Did you know that Pink Floyd, AC/DC, and Rush have an extensive catalog of songs to choose from? Feel free to play as many as you like and not just the same four every hour on the hour. Seriously, I can set my watch to Ted Nugent "Strangle Hold"
Oldies Format
This is pretty much the same as the Classic Rock station with an added 30-40 years to the age of the average listener. Somehow this station always finds ways to remind it's listeners that they are near death with constant benchmarks like "On this date in 1963 the number one song was..." or by filling you in on birthdays of people you thought were dead like Peter Tork and Del Shannon along side birthdays of people that are actually dead like Richie Valens, Sonny Bono soon to be you.
Classical Music DJ
This guy has the cherriest DJ job in the biz. Each song lasts about four hours, giving him time to complete at least 12 sudokus every day. Plus there's no pressure if he screws something up, because no one is listening any ways.
Posts: 277 Rank: 26 Joined:
5/31/2007
Location:
Gilbert, AZ
Posted: 8/2/2007 5:34:09 PM
My favorite part of preseason is reading the local newspaper fluff pieces. These writers are so cock hungry to find something to write about that they swallow the teams whole load of steamy spin at every chance. You'll end up reading how some 6th round receiver looks like Marvin Harrison or how a 240 lb DE reminds folks of Jason Taylor.
Then you read next week that they were cut.
AB - I was in Coconut Grove in December. I've never witnessed such a small divide between "nice" and "ghetto" as when I went searching for a grocery store. It think the street was Grand, as soon as I realized that I pulled the classic out-of-towner-drove-too-far move, I got pulled over by a cop thinking in was trolling for drugs. Good times.
Posts: 2115 Rank: 5 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 8/2/2007 5:52:11 PM
We all know it means jack squat, but I can't help but get my Bears jersey out, iron it and then drink myself silly on game day #1. Plus, it's Chicago @ Houston. Easy win.
Posts: 420 Rank: 50 Joined:
4/9/2007
Location:
Littleton-ish, CO
Posted: 8/2/2007 6:05:02 PM
ya think Rex "Mr. Glass" Grossman can make it all the way through the season? Do you have your Orton jersey ready to go since Griese in a trainwreck waiting to happen?
Dude, you never, and I mean never go past the CVS on grand. If you do, go 30 mph till you get to US-1 or you will be A) stopped by the cops on suspicion of crack possession B) forced to by crack at gunpoint or C) carjacked.
That central part of the grove is money though. a dozen bars and another dozen bar/restaurants in 4 blocks. And during the school year, more stupid UM pussy than you know what to do with. During the offseason the local ass keeps it reasonable.
Preseason - I only care because I'm so deprived. It's like a slump-buster. It's ok to bang some muddy bitch, if you haven't been laid in a couple weeks.
Posts: 607 Rank: 21 Joined:
12/8/2006
Location:
north babylon, NY
Posted: 8/2/2007 8:07:20 PM
I have to kill myself now. I was just reading through the comments and when I first saw Vert's Worst DJ's question I imediately thought of DJ Tanner. Then AB said it. I can't go on living anymore knowing that I think the same way as him.
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