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We know what you gonna say
Contemporary radio formats are as stale now as they've ever been. Having been glued to our Ipods for the past 3 years, Rick Falcon and Jim Fath felt compelled to revisit this age old entertainment format for this week's list.
Our plan was simple; we'd listen to nothing but radio for a week and see what we found. On day two Rick contemplated suicide and Jim destroyed his stereo, clock radio, and his Toyota factory cassette stereo. So after only after a days worth of listening we present to you following list:
The Ultimate 11 Radio Formats
Local Sports Talk DJ
This poor bastard has to fill three hours, every day, even during baseball season. And you can only interview a relief pitcher so many times. That means he has to fill the majority of the time taking calls from moron sports fans. He doesn't want to sound completely rude when they call in with completely ridiculous trade scenarios that would never happen and retarded commentary about last night's game. But you can hear his contempt for these mouth-breathers grow with each passing day.
Classic Rock DJ
Would it kill you to mix it up a little, Classic Rock DJ? Did you know that Pink Floyd, AC/DC, and Rush have an extensive catalog of songs to choose from? Feel free to play as many as you like and not just the same four every hour on the hour. Seriously, I can set my watch to Ted Nugent "Strangle Hold"
Oldies Format
This is pretty much the same as the Classic Rock station with an added 30-40 years to the age of the average listener. Somehow this station always finds ways to remind it's listeners that they are near death with constant benchmarks like "On this date in 1963 the number one song was..." or by filling you in on birthdays of people you thought were dead like Peter Tork and Del Shannon along side birthdays of people that are actually dead like Richie Valens, Sonny Bono soon to be you.
Classical Music DJ
This guy has the cherriest DJ job in the biz. Each song lasts about four hours, giving him time to complete at least 12 sudokus every day. Plus there's no pressure if he screws something up, because no one is listening any ways.
Posts: 277 Rank: 26 Joined:
5/31/2007
Location:
Gilbert, AZ
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:13:17 AM
Thanks TMAN, let's meet at the Four Corners for the exchange.
At what point does one cease to look "cool" when rolling with the boomin' system (pardon the dated terminology)? I heard a car coming up behind me at a stop sign the other day and glanced over and there's a guy with heavy male patterned baldness blaring one of the latest "five black guys without a thimble of talent" hip-hop songs. I was thisclose to jumping out of the car with an iron and pummeling the loser.
My temper reaches BigNick levels when I'm driving.
Posts: 802 Rank: 17 Joined:
6/20/2007
Location:
Norristown, PA
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:21:27 AM
And this car with this really loud stereo system comes down the stereo. It all bass and there's this rumble that makes you think Godzilla is coming. The driver must be deafer than Phil Collins.
Anyway, his car breaks down, but the stereo is still going. He fools with the engine, goes another hundred yards and the car breaks down again. At this point a crowd gathers and considers murdering him. He breaks down a third time on the same street before we never see him again.
You forgot the religious staions on the AM dial
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Post #: 29
Posts: 18 Rank: 128 Joined:
1/26/2007
Location:
shanghai, Peoples Rep of China
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:33:42 AM
I was once paid (PAID I tell you) to drive a guy's pickup truck across the country from Chicago to Seatle. I was pretty happy until I found out it only had an AM radio. My choices were Bible thumpers, Rush Limbaugh and suicide. The fact I can write this today proves I made the wrong choice. Try staying awake during the day long drive through North Dakota listing to the thumpers tell you you are going to hell in a handbasket and Rush explaining the whole country is going to hell in a handbasket. I would rather listen to my ex-girlfriend whine for 8 hours about my sexual inadequacies (which she is certainly capable of doing). I don't think I could have made it if I didn't stop every 3 or 4 hours to stretch my legs and kill a homeless guy.
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