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We know what you gonna say
Contemporary radio formats are as stale now as they've ever been. Having been glued to our Ipods for the past 3 years, Rick Falcon and Jim Fath felt compelled to revisit this age old entertainment format for this week's list.
Our plan was simple; we'd listen to nothing but radio for a week and see what we found. On day two Rick contemplated suicide and Jim destroyed his stereo, clock radio, and his Toyota factory cassette stereo. So after only after a days worth of listening we present to you following list:
The Ultimate 11 Radio Formats
Local Sports Talk DJ
This poor bastard has to fill three hours, every day, even during baseball season. And you can only interview a relief pitcher so many times. That means he has to fill the majority of the time taking calls from moron sports fans. He doesn't want to sound completely rude when they call in with completely ridiculous trade scenarios that would never happen and retarded commentary about last night's game. But you can hear his contempt for these mouth-breathers grow with each passing day.
Classic Rock DJ
Would it kill you to mix it up a little, Classic Rock DJ? Did you know that Pink Floyd, AC/DC, and Rush have an extensive catalog of songs to choose from? Feel free to play as many as you like and not just the same four every hour on the hour. Seriously, I can set my watch to Ted Nugent "Strangle Hold"
Oldies Format
This is pretty much the same as the Classic Rock station with an added 30-40 years to the age of the average listener. Somehow this station always finds ways to remind it's listeners that they are near death with constant benchmarks like "On this date in 1963 the number one song was..." or by filling you in on birthdays of people you thought were dead like Peter Tork and Del Shannon along side birthdays of people that are actually dead like Richie Valens, Sonny Bono soon to be you.
Classical Music DJ
This guy has the cherriest DJ job in the biz. Each song lasts about four hours, giving him time to complete at least 12 sudokus every day. Plus there's no pressure if he screws something up, because no one is listening any ways.
Posts: 420 Rank: 50 Joined:
4/9/2007
Location:
Littleton-ish, CO
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:49:18 AM
DJ from The Fisher King played by Jeff Bridges. "I'm talking to the little people! They're saying, Jack, go to the liquor store and findeth the Jack of Daniels so that ye may be shitfaced!"
Posts: 831 Rank: 11 Joined:
12/14/2006
Location:
Washington, DC
Posted: 8/2/2007 11:49:54 AM
Fucked by formatting. Looked good before posting.
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Listening to Diane Rehm on NPR is like willfully participating in the Bataan Death March. Chick has a major speech/processing impediment and her interviews are so excruciating they're almost comedic. Almost.
Posts: 300 Rank: 25 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
East Lansing, MI
Posted: 8/2/2007 12:00:45 PM
I'm a college radio DJ, where I have a metal specialty show. I try not to talk for more than 1 minute in the span of an hour and just pump commercial-free metal to the greater Lansing area. I know all about the pretencious college radio dj's because im surrounded by the scarf-wearing fuckers who think that since the music is "indie" that automatically makes it "good".
I know I'm not special in any way; I play music for four hours and go home, that's all. If anything, I'm a bigger nerd because of it, so whatever. Fuck.
Posts: 2115 Rank: 5 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 8/2/2007 12:01:03 PM
Walking for peace The legal age for consentual sex being 18 Cindy Shehan Communism Going bald Troy's 'comedy' Ducks Jay-walking tickets T-Ball Kindergarten Anti-war protests This post
This is the most poorly written pile of shit that I've come across in quite some time. It actually induced a bowel movement. Honestly, I've seen better writing on the bathroom wall at my local dive bar. You know Muenster, the one where I meet your old lady to get some filthy dick to mouth. Anyone who found this article to be remotely entertaining should be punished by licking the taint of my dead grandmother.
Posts: 300 Rank: 25 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
East Lansing, MI
Posted: 8/2/2007 12:09:20 PM
Well, tonight I'm playing Death, Meshuggah, Accept, Mayhem, and some others (maybe Opeth?), but actual "metal" bands are played (new Metallica, Korn, and such are not).
Posts: 831 Rank: 11 Joined:
12/14/2006
Location:
Washington, DC
Posted: 8/2/2007 12:13:03 PM
*applause*
Stiggs, you will attain greatness with that perspective/attitude. Don’t loose either.
Fall Out Boy....holy fuck do those homos make me want to bomb a village. And now they're shilling for Circuit City too! To quote the late, great Bill Hicks, "You do a commercial, you're off the artistic roll-call...forever."
Posts: 1166 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
My Cubicle, CO
Posted: 8/2/2007 12:17:01 PM
You should throw in some All That Remains and Killswitch Engage (Life to Lifeless, Fixation of the Darkness, My Last Serenade). If you haven't heard ATR check out their new cd The Fall of Ideals. Great riffs and rippin solo's.
In Flames has some really good shit too. Some of it is hit and miss but the good stuff is awesome. Same with Soilwork, their new cd Stabbing the Drama is pretty sick.
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