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by: JIM TEWS
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Carl Edwards said
SKIPPACK, WA - A community college student planned a school shooting, but apparently lacked the motivation to follow through. Carl Wesley Edwards was taken into custody Wednesday morning after his stepfather reported him to local police. The man became suspicious of his stepson when he was searching through the twenty-four year old's basement bedroom and found a hand-drawn map of the school, a case of .22 caliber ammunition, and a half-written manifesto. "The boxes of bullets is what really did it for me." says Edwards's stepfather. "He started a paper route earlier this month, but then he quit. I think he was saving up to buy the gun."

When asked about the incomplete manifesto he found, Edwards's stepfather stated that he was not too worried about it. "Well, it wouldn't be the first time we found some of Carl's unfinished work. He started a novel last winter. I don't think he even got past the first page. Boy couldn't even finish a grocery list."

Known in cyberspace as "CarlSaysFTW", the majority of Carl's social life existed online. Several of his internet "buddies" were contacted during the investigation but only one replied by saying "Carl seemed like a pretty normal guy. The only thing I didn't like about him was that he always signed off in mid-conversation." He frequented video game and film message boards as well as several social networking sites. The "about me" section of the young man's myspace page states "I'll think of something cool to put here later."

According to one of Edwards's neighborhood friends, Brent Lesman, Edwards mentioned the idea of the planned school shooting several times. "Yeah, he told me he was thinking about doing something crazy like that a few weeks back, but I didn't really think anything of it. I mean, two years ago he told me he was writing a screenplay, and nothing ever came of that." Lesman claims that he could think of no motive that his friend may have had for plotting the small-scale massacre. "I can't imagine that he had time to make any enemies. He only had class twice a week."

Though the potential for Edward's to actually complete his mission was apparently lacking, his stepfather felt that a crisis was avoided. "If I hadn't been searching around the basement for the laundry detergent, I never would've found this stuff and several people would've died. I thought I'd rather be safe than sorry. I always told my wife, if that boy ever learned to apply himself, he'd be dangerous."

Edwards's mother declined to comment.
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COMMENTS  111-116 out of 116 Post Comment Message Board View
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holy kinoli . () Post #: 111
View Profile Posts: 217
Rank: 43
Joined:  12/14/2006
Location:  Pittsburgh, PA
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:16:06 PM
I fucking love that song. She's like the dude from the matrix, born inside a computer, perfectly configured to sell shitty music to disaffected, angry teenage girls. Her mere existance is enough to prove that God's plan is just like any other marketing plan.

"I beg of you, don't murder me."
Christine Vert () Post #: 112
View Profile Posts: 2748
Rank: 1
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:16:50 PM
Never put box, pie, and mom in the same sentence again. you scared me.

I never had red velvet cake, but it sounds divine.

I'm leaving. Good night Flounder, I love you.



"Hey yo, ya feel dat shit? yeah it feels good? its the funky shit, well I'm soakin' too".
holy kinoli back to work. () Post #: 113
View Profile Posts: 217
Rank: 43
Joined:  12/14/2006
Location:  Pittsburgh, PA
Posted: 8/20/2007 5:18:36 PM
I hate this shit.


"She'll be the same one that's always alone, while her friend gettin done dirty, down in room 130, nut on her Sun's Jersey."
pooholes carb game () Post #: 114
View Profile Posts: 419
Rank: 49
Joined:  4/9/2007
Location:  Littleton-ish, CO
Posted: 8/20/2007 6:42:42 PM
no one mentioned akahol! how was this missed?




"you drink that Red Bull, I drink Hennesy for energy..."
pooholes nevermind () Post #: 115
View Profile Posts: 419
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Joined:  4/9/2007
Location:  Littleton-ish, CO
Posted: 8/20/2007 6:47:11 PM
I fucked up. Vert mentioned Maker's and Filthy threw out a chocolate martini (scratching head).

I have the reading comprehension of a downie after eating a whole box of oatmeal cream pies and downing a couple of buzz colas after a full breakfast of fruity pebbles and espresso shots.

Later fellators.
Belding Christine () Post #: 116
View Profile Posts: 37
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Joined:  7/13/2007
Location:  T-ston, CT
Posted: 8/21/2007 3:34:57 AM
Please tell me you're kidding about black guys...it's 2007 baby. I like to still pretend Spaniards dont exist, but I had to face the facts, we're integrated.
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