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Carl Edwards said
SKIPPACK, WA - A community college student planned a school shooting, but apparently lacked the motivation to follow through. Carl Wesley Edwards was taken into custody Wednesday morning after his stepfather reported him to local police. The man became suspicious of his stepson when he was searching through the twenty-four year old's basement bedroom and found a hand-drawn map of the school, a case of .22 caliber ammunition, and a half-written manifesto. "The boxes of bullets is what really did it for me." says Edwards's stepfather. "He started a paper route earlier this month, but then he quit. I think he was saving up to buy the gun."
When asked about the incomplete manifesto he found, Edwards's stepfather stated that he was not too worried about it. "Well, it wouldn't be the first time we found some of Carl's unfinished work. He started a novel last winter. I don't think he even got past the first page. Boy couldn't even finish a grocery list."
Known in cyberspace as "CarlSaysFTW", the majority of Carl's social life existed online. Several of his internet "buddies" were contacted during the investigation but only one replied by saying "Carl seemed like a pretty normal guy. The only thing I didn't like about him was that he always signed off in mid-conversation." He frequented video game and film message boards as well as several social networking sites. The "about me" section of the young man's myspace page states "I'll think of something cool to put here later."
According to one of Edwards's neighborhood friends, Brent Lesman, Edwards mentioned the idea of the planned school shooting several times. "Yeah, he told me he was thinking about doing something crazy like that a few weeks back, but I didn't really think anything of it. I mean, two years ago he told me he was writing a screenplay, and nothing ever came of that." Lesman claims that he could think of no motive that his friend may have had for plotting the small-scale massacre. "I can't imagine that he had time to make any enemies. He only had class twice a week."
Though the potential for Edward's to actually complete his mission was apparently lacking, his stepfather felt that a crisis was avoided. "If I hadn't been searching around the basement for the laundry detergent, I never would've found this stuff and several people would've died. I thought I'd rather be safe than sorry. I always told my wife, if that boy ever learned to apply himself, he'd be dangerous."
is a solid writer, but this was a one trick pony. It was a funny trick, but it didn't really leave many places to go and you needed some more hyperbolic metaphors. Maybe more detail about the manifesto or a picture of it, written in crayon, with pictures and a little bong water stain on one side.
Mako - I'd say don't do it, but after taking a look at you, go ahead. Your lucky to be gettting any poon at all. Because I just noticed you're from Jackson, I must ask, How closely related are you two?? should keep the invite list a little smaller.
Posts: 716 Rank: 18 Joined:
6/20/2007
Location:
Norristown, PA
Posted: 8/20/2007 10:59:05 AM
I went back to the IDate and I left right before the Guido did his snappy comeback. That sucks. I hope he was real and not Spartan or it would break my heart.
I love guys like this too. You know what? I do have a comic book collection. But if that greasy piece of shit met me at a bar he wouldn't say shit. He would have an epihany like a fucking Catholic saint. A divine light would shine down and a dove would float towards him on wings of gossamer and in that moment he would realize that he is not hard, not close to hard and not even slightly intimidating.
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