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With the announcement of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' resignation on Monday, producers of the popular cable-television news satire program "The Daily Show" are regretting their decision to take a two-week hiatus.
"Man, we are kicking ourselves," said executive producer Troy McClintock. "We thought we'd be in the clear, since Rove announced he was leaving last week. We figured unless something big happened like Condoleezza Rice losing an eye in a fishing accident or Britney accidentally feeding one of her kids to a manatee that it would be an uneventful couple of weeks. But now with Gonzales leaving, and all the speculation over possible replacements, I really wish we on the air to make fun of it."
"The people who really lose out are the viewers," added segment producer Elliot Kahn. "Most of them get all of their news from our show, so they won't have any idea that this is even happening. I mean, when we show reruns and it's all 'Bush said something stupid, something blew up in Iraq, here's an interview with the author if a book you'll never read' a lot of them don't even notice that they've watched those episodes already. Of course, pot helps."
Many have compared "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart's vacation arrangements to the deal that Johnny Carson had with NBC during his time as host of "The Tonight Show". Both men work only four nights a week, have eight weeks of scheduled vacation during the year, and have massive writing staffs who do most of the actual work.
"It's a shame to miss out on all the Gonzales stuff, but frankly, a lot of us needed a break too." Said staff writer Rachel Shapiro. "We were getting kind of burned out trying to find new jokes about the presidential candidates when they just kept saying the same stuff over and over. Plus, a lot of us got really frustrated that we couldn't make all the dead coal miner jokes we wanted to because of issues of 'good taste'. It was really disappointing.
"The correspondents get a bum deal when we go on hiatus like this also." She added. "They don't have the same sweetheart deal that Jon does, so Samantha Bee had to take a job as the Assistant Night Manager at the Sbarro's on 133rd street. And Riggle's gone back to breaking people's thumbs for his bookie."
Still, the producers are confident that they will retain their loyal viewership in spite of the two-week lapse of topicality.
"We're the only game in town," boasted McClintock. "I mean, where else are people going to go for fake news and self-referential in-jokes? The Internet? Ha! I'd like to see that!"
Posts: 18 Rank: 92 Joined:
8/23/2007
Location:
Capital City, WA
Posted: 8/28/2007 4:42:35 PM
Oh he's gay, There are support groups that would argue with you about the existinse of the "Boffalo slayer." Thirsty? it's hard to believe but yes. Black people can't use computers. And Janitors don't get salaries. They have to punch the clock like the rest of the Min wagers.
Posts: 832 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Seattle, WA
Posted: 8/28/2007 5:00:57 PM
is not good in scrubs.
I just had my employee evaluation today.
Apparently I demonstrate excellence in patient care, teamwork, leadership, and am the "go-to guy from computer questions and departmental logistics."
I was also nominated "by my peers" for a fucking Pacific Northwest Health Care award. I wish I could have some of you help me write an acceptance speech or at least do some TPP name dropping in there.
I'd like to thank DLamp, Balls, DC, Big Nick, Tom A, Digger, Shit Sandwich, Arrogant Bastard, Tman, Janitor Josh aka ............................................... and Christine.
Posts: 794 Rank: 11 Joined:
12/14/2006
Location:
Washington, DC
Posted: 8/28/2007 6:32:09 PM
I can't find the courage to articulate with the requisite venom how painful this workshop I've been forced to participate in is. It's like nails on a chalkboard...or akin to listening to some gash dribble about her wedding. Fucking horrible. If it wasn't here in 'Nawlins, I'd have committed suicide Michael Hutchence style by now (i.e. cock in hand/belt around neck).
I must now go to Cafe' Du Monde for some Beignets before getting my prowl on on Bourbon for a low risk/high probability sperm bank in which to make a "significant deposit".
SS
P.S. Whoever shitted Vert's "...Nudge down staircase during month 5." line was/is a douche. Awesome.
*alternating suspicious looks between Mako and EF*
Posts: 65 Rank: 98 Joined:
7/12/2007
Location:
Buffalo, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:55:45 PM
I was reading Chester's Travis Henry stereotype and when i got to the favorite TV show: Martin part, i turned my head and at that exact moment, my college roommate was watching...the first season of Martin on DVD. I try not to be a stereotyping person (and I know I have been accused of racism on here before), but I thought I would do my own stereotype of my roommate, Capo.
Pairs of patent leather Air Force One's in closet: 5
Dimensions of girlfriend (approximate): 28-26-42
Music Interest: Jim Jones CD playing on loop from 10:00 this morning
Food: Stocked entire fridge with yoohoo
Last Conversation: "Yo when you got the 1 on top of the ten, thats the same thing as 10 right?"
Posts: 115 Rank: 2124 Joined:
7/23/2007
Location:
Albany, NY
Posted: 8/29/2007 1:27:39 AM
is what big decision makers get paid for. One of my co-workers comes from the biggest white trash town in the county, and he's asked me how to spell the word 'month'.
Belding, hilarious. After I read that, I rolled my eyes and shook my finger at the screen like a fucking kindergarten teacher.
To everyone else...characters? Tough guy? Wow. If I've given the impression of anything but someone bored during the mornings/afternoons who likes to talk sports/movies/vagina, well, oops.
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