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With the announcement of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' resignation on Monday, producers of the popular cable-television news satire program "The Daily Show" are regretting their decision to take a two-week hiatus.
"Man, we are kicking ourselves," said executive producer Troy McClintock. "We thought we'd be in the clear, since Rove announced he was leaving last week. We figured unless something big happened like Condoleezza Rice losing an eye in a fishing accident or Britney accidentally feeding one of her kids to a manatee that it would be an uneventful couple of weeks. But now with Gonzales leaving, and all the speculation over possible replacements, I really wish we on the air to make fun of it."
"The people who really lose out are the viewers," added segment producer Elliot Kahn. "Most of them get all of their news from our show, so they won't have any idea that this is even happening. I mean, when we show reruns and it's all 'Bush said something stupid, something blew up in Iraq, here's an interview with the author if a book you'll never read' a lot of them don't even notice that they've watched those episodes already. Of course, pot helps."
Many have compared "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart's vacation arrangements to the deal that Johnny Carson had with NBC during his time as host of "The Tonight Show". Both men work only four nights a week, have eight weeks of scheduled vacation during the year, and have massive writing staffs who do most of the actual work.
"It's a shame to miss out on all the Gonzales stuff, but frankly, a lot of us needed a break too." Said staff writer Rachel Shapiro. "We were getting kind of burned out trying to find new jokes about the presidential candidates when they just kept saying the same stuff over and over. Plus, a lot of us got really frustrated that we couldn't make all the dead coal miner jokes we wanted to because of issues of 'good taste'. It was really disappointing.
"The correspondents get a bum deal when we go on hiatus like this also." She added. "They don't have the same sweetheart deal that Jon does, so Samantha Bee had to take a job as the Assistant Night Manager at the Sbarro's on 133rd street. And Riggle's gone back to breaking people's thumbs for his bookie."
Still, the producers are confident that they will retain their loyal viewership in spite of the two-week lapse of topicality.
"We're the only game in town," boasted McClintock. "I mean, where else are people going to go for fake news and self-referential in-jokes? The Internet? Ha! I'd like to see that!"
Posts: 1542 Rank: 6 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:44:10 AM
I'm in.
Nick, my hand-penis would definitely have balls. They could act as a thumb, so you could still hold stuff with it when you weren't immersed in a menage-a-trois.
Posts: 260 Rank: 26 Joined:
5/31/2007
Location:
Gilbert, AZ
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:45:41 AM
don't have writers?! That's a good one!
Sorry - but this has to be brought up. Travis Henry - NFL running back - has tallied 9 children by 9 different women. WOW!
That got me to thinking that Henry used to play in Buffalo and he's approximately 5'9" and 215 pounds. That, in turn got me to thinking that possibly some of these children could actually have been Big Nicks - who dressed up in black face for shits and giggles and played himself off as T. Hen and dropped some batter on NFL groupie hoe's.
Then I remembered that those women would immediately be disposed of - dead women can't give birth.
Posts: 1120 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
My Cubicle, CO
Posted: 8/28/2007 10:50:23 AM
He could dress up as a black man all he wants but as soon as he dropped trow they would see his steroid shriveled raisen sack and realize he's no black man.
Posts: 115 Rank: 2124 Joined:
7/23/2007
Location:
Albany, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 11:05:10 AM
Even when I have something almost quasi original to say, it's already written by one of you.
Spart...thank you. I couldn't believe the first post intimated that this article wasn't awful. Other than a well played quick jab at Utah miners, I was bored out of my mind and thanking God it was over quickly. Kind of like one of the poor women that ends up dating me.
Arm attachment - wiffle ball bat...comes in handy for games, and a real hobag could use it after I pass out, which would come after completely dissatisfying her.
I'm in. Also, I like Henry to be motivated this year to pay off those sluts once and for all- a great FF choice. My favorite birth control method? Nudge down staircase during month 5.
Reality shows don't have writers, how has that one slid by? Wow.
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