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With the announcement of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' resignation on Monday, producers of the popular cable-television news satire program "The Daily Show" are regretting their decision to take a two-week hiatus.
"Man, we are kicking ourselves," said executive producer Troy McClintock. "We thought we'd be in the clear, since Rove announced he was leaving last week. We figured unless something big happened like Condoleezza Rice losing an eye in a fishing accident or Britney accidentally feeding one of her kids to a manatee that it would be an uneventful couple of weeks. But now with Gonzales leaving, and all the speculation over possible replacements, I really wish we on the air to make fun of it."
"The people who really lose out are the viewers," added segment producer Elliot Kahn. "Most of them get all of their news from our show, so they won't have any idea that this is even happening. I mean, when we show reruns and it's all 'Bush said something stupid, something blew up in Iraq, here's an interview with the author if a book you'll never read' a lot of them don't even notice that they've watched those episodes already. Of course, pot helps."
Many have compared "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart's vacation arrangements to the deal that Johnny Carson had with NBC during his time as host of "The Tonight Show". Both men work only four nights a week, have eight weeks of scheduled vacation during the year, and have massive writing staffs who do most of the actual work.
"It's a shame to miss out on all the Gonzales stuff, but frankly, a lot of us needed a break too." Said staff writer Rachel Shapiro. "We were getting kind of burned out trying to find new jokes about the presidential candidates when they just kept saying the same stuff over and over. Plus, a lot of us got really frustrated that we couldn't make all the dead coal miner jokes we wanted to because of issues of 'good taste'. It was really disappointing.
"The correspondents get a bum deal when we go on hiatus like this also." She added. "They don't have the same sweetheart deal that Jon does, so Samantha Bee had to take a job as the Assistant Night Manager at the Sbarro's on 133rd street. And Riggle's gone back to breaking people's thumbs for his bookie."
Still, the producers are confident that they will retain their loyal viewership in spite of the two-week lapse of topicality.
"We're the only game in town," boasted McClintock. "I mean, where else are people going to go for fake news and self-referential in-jokes? The Internet? Ha! I'd like to see that!"
Posts: 420 Rank: 19 Joined:
8/5/2007
Location:
La Crosse, WI
Posted: 8/28/2007 12:13:10 PM
"Breaking news from Jackson, MI. What can only be described as absolute Horror? A Partially retarded Rican man was Cut in too with what eye witness report to be "A chainsaw attached to his Forearm where his hand should be". The subject was reported last seen running away screaming, "Can't pull the trigger without your fat finger!"
Posts: 1120 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
My Cubicle, CO
Posted: 8/28/2007 12:23:14 PM
Another mutilated body has been found in a ditch outside Savannah, GA. The victim was beaten and beyond recognition but had the words ANT and Knuckleface Jones carved into his chest. Authorities have no motives, suspects, or leads at this time. However, this recent tragedy is strangely similar to multiple other bodies found around the country including 2 women, one of which lived in Hawaii, and the other in California. No connection has been made as of yet but authorities are trying to find a common link between all these gruesome murders. More at 11."
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