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With the announcement of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' resignation on Monday, producers of the popular cable-television news satire program "The Daily Show" are regretting their decision to take a two-week hiatus.
"Man, we are kicking ourselves," said executive producer Troy McClintock. "We thought we'd be in the clear, since Rove announced he was leaving last week. We figured unless something big happened like Condoleezza Rice losing an eye in a fishing accident or Britney accidentally feeding one of her kids to a manatee that it would be an uneventful couple of weeks. But now with Gonzales leaving, and all the speculation over possible replacements, I really wish we on the air to make fun of it."
"The people who really lose out are the viewers," added segment producer Elliot Kahn. "Most of them get all of their news from our show, so they won't have any idea that this is even happening. I mean, when we show reruns and it's all 'Bush said something stupid, something blew up in Iraq, here's an interview with the author if a book you'll never read' a lot of them don't even notice that they've watched those episodes already. Of course, pot helps."
Many have compared "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart's vacation arrangements to the deal that Johnny Carson had with NBC during his time as host of "The Tonight Show". Both men work only four nights a week, have eight weeks of scheduled vacation during the year, and have massive writing staffs who do most of the actual work.
"It's a shame to miss out on all the Gonzales stuff, but frankly, a lot of us needed a break too." Said staff writer Rachel Shapiro. "We were getting kind of burned out trying to find new jokes about the presidential candidates when they just kept saying the same stuff over and over. Plus, a lot of us got really frustrated that we couldn't make all the dead coal miner jokes we wanted to because of issues of 'good taste'. It was really disappointing.
"The correspondents get a bum deal when we go on hiatus like this also." She added. "They don't have the same sweetheart deal that Jon does, so Samantha Bee had to take a job as the Assistant Night Manager at the Sbarro's on 133rd street. And Riggle's gone back to breaking people's thumbs for his bookie."
Still, the producers are confident that they will retain their loyal viewership in spite of the two-week lapse of topicality.
"We're the only game in town," boasted McClintock. "I mean, where else are people going to go for fake news and self-referential in-jokes? The Internet? Ha! I'd like to see that!"
Posts: 1265 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 12:49:06 PM
Did anybody else see she reanswered THE question: "I would love to re-answer that question," Upton said. "Well personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on our map. I don't know anyone else who doesn't. And if the statistics are correct, I believe there should be more emphasis on geography."
In case there is any question about it, I'd still fuck her from behind while choking her with my belt until her eyes and nose bled. It would be much more violent than any of 8*'s penthouse letters from yesterday.
Did you see the whole thing? She wants to learn graphic design and move to LA to work on special effects in movies. She'll be in movies all right, but she'll be staring in them getting mutliple loads sprayed on her face.
Posts: 420 Rank: 49 Joined:
4/9/2007
Location:
Littleton-ish, CO
Posted: 8/28/2007 1:00:20 PM
Seeing as how I went to college and got a degree to work on special effects in movies, the major wasn't graphic design. What a dumb whore. But it's a worthless degree regardless.
Not only will she be getting covered like a glazed donut, but I can hear her now, "Uh huh. I love beads and string! Yeaaaa!! Hey? Why is that guy pointing his thingy at me??"
Posts: 1265 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 1:21:19 PM
2 interesting things came from Couture's victory Saturday night.
1. Randy's arm was broken when he blocked that high kick from Gonzaga.
2. Josh Barnett is PISSED! He left the UFC as HW champ for Pride after beating Couture. JB was never defeated in UFC after becoming champ. He was at the fight right near Dana White when DW said nobody could beat RC now. Here's the link. It's a decent read
Posts: 1542 Rank: 6 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 8/28/2007 1:28:52 PM
I was at home watching TV with my now ex-girlfriend and I'm scrolling through the guide on cable. We go by a channel showing "Pride Fighting" and she says:
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