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With the announcement of Attorney General Alberto Gonzales' resignation on Monday, producers of the popular cable-television news satire program "The Daily Show" are regretting their decision to take a two-week hiatus.
"Man, we are kicking ourselves," said executive producer Troy McClintock. "We thought we'd be in the clear, since Rove announced he was leaving last week. We figured unless something big happened like Condoleezza Rice losing an eye in a fishing accident or Britney accidentally feeding one of her kids to a manatee that it would be an uneventful couple of weeks. But now with Gonzales leaving, and all the speculation over possible replacements, I really wish we on the air to make fun of it."
"The people who really lose out are the viewers," added segment producer Elliot Kahn. "Most of them get all of their news from our show, so they won't have any idea that this is even happening. I mean, when we show reruns and it's all 'Bush said something stupid, something blew up in Iraq, here's an interview with the author if a book you'll never read' a lot of them don't even notice that they've watched those episodes already. Of course, pot helps."
Many have compared "Daily Show" host Jon Stewart's vacation arrangements to the deal that Johnny Carson had with NBC during his time as host of "The Tonight Show". Both men work only four nights a week, have eight weeks of scheduled vacation during the year, and have massive writing staffs who do most of the actual work.
"It's a shame to miss out on all the Gonzales stuff, but frankly, a lot of us needed a break too." Said staff writer Rachel Shapiro. "We were getting kind of burned out trying to find new jokes about the presidential candidates when they just kept saying the same stuff over and over. Plus, a lot of us got really frustrated that we couldn't make all the dead coal miner jokes we wanted to because of issues of 'good taste'. It was really disappointing.
"The correspondents get a bum deal when we go on hiatus like this also." She added. "They don't have the same sweetheart deal that Jon does, so Samantha Bee had to take a job as the Assistant Night Manager at the Sbarro's on 133rd street. And Riggle's gone back to breaking people's thumbs for his bookie."
Still, the producers are confident that they will retain their loyal viewership in spite of the two-week lapse of topicality.
"We're the only game in town," boasted McClintock. "I mean, where else are people going to go for fake news and self-referential in-jokes? The Internet? Ha! I'd like to see that!"
Posts: 1120 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
My Cubicle, CO
Posted: 8/28/2007 1:31:04 PM
From a person who needed roids to win the championship in the first place. I like how he leaves the part out that no one beat him because they stripped him of his belt after he tested positive and booted him from the UFC.
Posts: 2817 Rank: 2 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 8/28/2007 1:38:27 PM
Guess who stayed home again.
I played Quizzo last night at my local watering hole and won 50 bucks!!!
Then I met the man of my dreams, but he's married. He probably gave me the best compliments of my life. he's a fire fighter and half owner of the bar. How can I make him my husband?
Posts: 452 Rank: 28 Joined:
4/23/2007
Location:
Jackson, MI
Posted: 8/28/2007 1:54:07 PM
A bar owner AND a fireman! What are you going to do to get rid of the competition? I would think that the first step to getting this drunken Pyromaniac to marry you would be to get rid of the wife. You Have a plan for that?
Posts: 2817 Rank: 2 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 8/28/2007 1:57:04 PM
Termination for what?
Vert, stop worrying about your posts. they are always funny and great. Its probably Spartan retaliating for you making him scrub your shoes with his own tooth brush.
The only downside of this guy is that he's short. probably like 5'9". he has jet black hair and crazy blue eyes. you could see them from space. He has kids too.
Nick, what's your status on baby killing? opposed? I know you'll be happy to axe the wife, but I don't want no baggage.
Posts: 2817 Rank: 2 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 8/28/2007 2:20:46 PM
what the fuck was that voicemail you left me? I couldn't hear anything except my name. did you say Baby Dave wants to say hello? is that your dick's name or something?
the fire fighter is an unrealistic dream. I can't get involved with a married man. ever. even if he did get divorced. too weird. but he told I was "hot" and said that he watches me whenever I come to the bar and I always look so well put together. He said even though he can tell i'm drunk, I'm still always conscious of how I look and most girls aren't. then he said that he loves that I flip my hair a lot. he said I have the best hair toss in the world. I mean, if this guy doesn't get me, no one does. I flip my hair around constantly when I'm drunk. my friends hate it, but he actually likes it.
then when I was walking home, he pulled up in his car and told me he would drive me, but I was strong and told him I was fine, but thanks anyway. I think this might get me into heaven now.
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