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Good morning, children. Welcome to your first day of kindergarten. Boy, there sure are a lot of you, aren't there. Say, just to get things started, I'd like to take a moment and get to know you all a little bit. First, please raise your hand if your birthday is in June, July, or August.
Okay, I guess I might as well explain why that is. You see, about six years ago, some people did a very bad thing, and it made everyone in the country very afraid and forced them to think about what they were doing with their lives. Now, the logical reaction to a national tragedy of that magnitude would be to say, "I refuse to bring another innocent life into a world where something terrible like this can happen". But instead, a lot of mommies and daddies, or in most cases just the mommies, decided that they needed to do something to makes themselves feel like their lives were worthwhile. As a result, all of you came along in the next nine to twelve months. Of course, after a while people sort of got over the very bad thing and they settled back into their comfortable familiar routines.
Just out of curiosity, please raise your hand if you can remember a time when you didn't go to day care.
That's what I thought.
What's that? You want to know why the people did the very bad thing? That's adorable. What's your name, dear? Madison? How many of the rest of you are named Madison?
Wow. In my class it was Jennifer, but I guess times change.
No, seriously, he really said 'I cannot tell a lie'.
Anyway, Madison, it's wonderful that you still think it's fun to know things. That feeling won't last. Pretty soon it will actually be important for you to know things, but you won't care. And of course, those of you who still think it's fun to know things will be constantly tormented because of it.
To get back to your question, Madison, I can't tell you why the people did the bad thing. The curriculum says you won't learn that until the second grade, and even then it will mostly be lies. Then in sixth grade they will admit that they lied to you in second grade and they'll tell you new lies that they'll expect you to believe. Or, at least, repeat. By the time you get to tenth grade, they might actually tell you the truth, but like I said, by then you won't care.
This will also be the case for the Civil War. And the American Revolution. And Vietnam. And most of the rest of American History. And Government, for that matter. In fact, I were you, I'd stick to things that either entirely empirical, like Math, or entirely subjective, like Literature.
No, Connor, because there's no funding for Art or Music.
Because we can't measure the results.
Anyway, children, I want you all to understand that school is an adventure. You'll make friends, and probably enemies. There will be victories and disappointments. Most of your social interactions will be with the same people, over and over again, and so if you're smart the main thing that you'll learn is how to manipulate situations to your advantage. If you're not smart, you'll learn to coast, which is just as effective.
Okay, that's it for the morning address. Now it's nap time. Enjoy it while it lasts.
Posts: 2831 Rank: 2 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 8/31/2007 11:33:02 AM
High officials in our government had something brewing overseas for more reasons than just oil. For several reason and needed an excuse to get the country behind them, especially after the whole clinton sex debacle and the feeling that the country did not care about anything anymore.
I think there was a general consensus of "if you want to make an omelette, you have to break some eggs". its a horrible thing to say, but I believe it with all my heart. It may not be able to be traced back to anyone, but in some way, even in its smallest measure, the usa was involved in the planes flying threw those buildings.
Oh look! two men in suits want to talk to me. fucking patriot act.
Posts: 2047 Rank: 5 Joined:
2/27/2007
Location:
Ventura, CA
Posted: 8/31/2007 11:37:13 AM
Do you get all your news from the Daily Show? Just asking.
Bah, enough about this crap. Let's drink and be merry. Like I stated yesterday, I NEVER drink coffee, but for some reason, I drank a bunch of it yesterday. I couldn't sleep for shit last night. Now I need more because I am tired. It's a vicious cycle.
I love getting in heated arguments with knuckleheads that defend Bush like he was Jesus Christ. Every fuck up after 9/11 I blame on him.
Was the US complicit in the actual act? That I don't know, but I do know the Bush family is so far up the Saudi Royal families ass you can just make out the bottom of their shoes.
For all you folks that blame Katrina on the people that live there. You need to get educated. That was fucking disgraceful and we should all be ashamed. 1,600 fucking people died in that storm. Last time I checked that's alot.
Posts: 2831 Rank: 2 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 8/31/2007 11:47:37 AM
You seem so normal and level headed all the time. and you are really disgusted? See? this is why I never ever get involved when you talk about this kind of shit. no one ever agrees and it makes people not like each other.
I am finished and will never discuss politics on this site again.
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