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Hello... I'm here to raise your Insurance
Being males in our early 20's (emotionally speaking) both Rick and I have had our fair share of run-ins with members of law enforcement and in almost every case we were always greeted with a generous amount of attitude and sometimes with just a hint of taser.
It goes without saying that most cops are assholes and, in their defense, they have to be. The hours and pay are usually shit; you have to deal with the absolute dregs of society; plus there's that gay ass uniform complete with matching Ford Taurus. So yeah, we see how you might have a chip on your shoulder "Officer Friendly".
But some officers take it too far. Just ask twenty year old Missouri resident Brett Darrow. Brett had his camera rolling when a St. Louis police officer pulled up behind him in a parking lot last month and proceeded to intimidate him and even threaten him with potentially fabricated charges.
Here is the 13 minute clip via you tube.
Now while Brett might be a little paranoid to have a mouted security camera rolling while he drives we do admire his tenacity albeit momentary in dealing with officer dickbag. Both Rick and I would have opted to just sit there powerless and let the cop yell at us for 10 minutes as we've done 100's of times before. The secret is in being patronizing but not TOO patronizing. You just sit there nodding and repeating "Yes sir", "No sir", and "I wasn't aware my genitals were visible to those High School girls sir." (Impressive Rick)
Still though it's really not fair to say ALL cops are assholes when there are so many different kids of cops and assholes out there. So this week Rick and I thought we'd break it down as best we could as we present the Ultimate 11 Asshole Cops: An Asshole Matrix for Members of Law Enforcement.*
*We fully realize that we are giant pussies who are basically blogging about something instead of standing up for ourselves. This is one in a many long line of that. Are you honestly surprised? Anyway on with the list...
Auxiliary Police Coming in at number one are the saddest cops of all. The Auxiliary Police. These guys are rarely assholes. In fact in most cases they're very nice are just glad to have someone to talk to as they get stuck sitting somewhere for hours on end. These sad sacks get stuck directing traffic, patting down concert goers' and sitting at the all night counter a Dennys to make sure the teens don't get out of hand at 3 am. They even sometimes seat people if the hostess is busy. No lie, we've seen it. Someone tell us if we should have tipped him.
Transit Police We've never been exactly sure what these guys do as we've never had to deal with them before. We're assuming they aren't huge assholes as they are probably not exceptionally busy most of the time. We're guessing that if you rob, rape, or murder someone at a bus stop, train station, or subway platform this is who you call. "Hey you, with the counterfeit bus transfer! FREZE!!"
County Sheriff in Municipalities In some big cities with large police departments the sheriff's office is typically delegated the task of transporting prisoners to and from court, prison, and elsewhere. For that reason these "Glorified Bailiffs" are usually pretty nice folks. Once in a while on TV you'll see a courtroom outburst where some of these rotund Teddy Bears with guns have to restrain someone. It's usually the only time these guys have to be assholes. To their defense if you had to put down your coffee and paper to wrestle some irate drug dealer you'd probably be an asshole about it too.
Posts: 277 Rank: 26 Joined:
5/31/2007
Location:
Gilbert, AZ
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:24:07 AM
Brikz & Vert - I see your black cop and older black cop and raise you the psuedo black cop that's a 7'1" 350 lb fourteen time NBA all star. He's the worst!
He really hates white people - just ask Brad Miller, Shawn Bradley, Andres Nocioni.
"I've got the beats that will rock your cradle - cream you like cheese, spread you on my bagle" - Shaq Fu
Tom A's a legend, with that move on the metermaid he may have surpassed Federer or Marisa as the best thing going.
When I worked for the Fed, my boss got the mayor of Dallas to quit having them hover by our building when we were fixing our elevator. It was like they smelled blood and could write more tickets since we couldn't get back down in time for the expiration. Unreal, its not like I parked in front of a fire hydrant or something really earth shattering.
Posts: 2923 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:30:56 AM
The absolute Most?!?!?! He's tops! He's Aces! I should have blown you when I had the chance.
Growing up in a dirt poor city, so many of my friends became cops. We used to hang on street corners and share 40s and split packs of cigarettes. Our older friends who became cops would warn us if a call came in to boot us because of noise. But there was this one black cop who was so cool to us. He used to get out of the car and tell us to keep it down and he would stand with us for a while. years later, he got some of my friends out of parking tickets. we always wondered what was up with him. My guy friends are so disgustingly racist and he had to know it. but he was still cool to us. He still remembers our names when he sees us. I don't get it.
Posts: 420 Rank: 50 Joined:
4/9/2007
Location:
Littleton-ish, CO
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:34:26 AM
Dick badges harassing black teens in the mall falling down stairs.
I must say, there was a time I wanted to be an asshole. I was even in the Explorer Academy (which is to learn to be a cop but you don't get a gun - so they are training 'targets'). I had some cop friends working at my parent's 7-11 because their presence kept the meth-heads away. They were very poor examples of peace officers. Especially the one that kept forgetting his gun. I always had to point that out loud enough for those around to hear every time he did it.
Then one of them pulled me over for no reason just to chit chat. I was with a chick and I had to pull my fucking finger out. I will never forgive...
"Sworn to protect but designed to harass, search without a warrant; your fingers' in my ass..."
"Now you'll stay here, and try to recover my hat from those yoots over there, and I'll just take yours for the time being while I go rustle up some coffee and a Bear Claw..."
Posts: 607 Rank: 21 Joined:
12/8/2006
Location:
north babylon, NY
Posted: 9/13/2007 11:37:57 AM
He's a black male, you're a medim huskey white woman. This isn't rocket science...
"O, sinner do not stray from the straight and narrow way, For the Lord is surely watching what you do. If you approach the Devil's den, turn 'round don't enter in, Lest the hand of the Almighty fall on you.
He'll fuck you up, Yes, God will fuck you up, If you dare to disobey His stern command. He'll fuck you up, Don't you know He'll fuck you up, So you'd better do some prayin' while you can."
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