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Hello... I'm here to raise your Insurance
Being males in our early 20's (emotionally speaking) both Rick and I have had our fair share of run-ins with members of law enforcement and in almost every case we were always greeted with a generous amount of attitude and sometimes with just a hint of taser.
It goes without saying that most cops are assholes and, in their defense, they have to be. The hours and pay are usually shit; you have to deal with the absolute dregs of society; plus there's that gay ass uniform complete with matching Ford Taurus. So yeah, we see how you might have a chip on your shoulder "Officer Friendly".
But some officers take it too far. Just ask twenty year old Missouri resident Brett Darrow. Brett had his camera rolling when a St. Louis police officer pulled up behind him in a parking lot last month and proceeded to intimidate him and even threaten him with potentially fabricated charges.
Here is the 13 minute clip via you tube.
Now while Brett might be a little paranoid to have a mouted security camera rolling while he drives we do admire his tenacity albeit momentary in dealing with officer dickbag. Both Rick and I would have opted to just sit there powerless and let the cop yell at us for 10 minutes as we've done 100's of times before. The secret is in being patronizing but not TOO patronizing. You just sit there nodding and repeating "Yes sir", "No sir", and "I wasn't aware my genitals were visible to those High School girls sir." (Impressive Rick)
Still though it's really not fair to say ALL cops are assholes when there are so many different kids of cops and assholes out there. So this week Rick and I thought we'd break it down as best we could as we present the Ultimate 11 Asshole Cops: An Asshole Matrix for Members of Law Enforcement.*
*We fully realize that we are giant pussies who are basically blogging about something instead of standing up for ourselves. This is one in a many long line of that. Are you honestly surprised? Anyway on with the list...
Auxiliary Police Coming in at number one are the saddest cops of all. The Auxiliary Police. These guys are rarely assholes. In fact in most cases they're very nice are just glad to have someone to talk to as they get stuck sitting somewhere for hours on end. These sad sacks get stuck directing traffic, patting down concert goers' and sitting at the all night counter a Dennys to make sure the teens don't get out of hand at 3 am. They even sometimes seat people if the hostess is busy. No lie, we've seen it. Someone tell us if we should have tipped him.
Transit Police We've never been exactly sure what these guys do as we've never had to deal with them before. We're assuming they aren't huge assholes as they are probably not exceptionally busy most of the time. We're guessing that if you rob, rape, or murder someone at a bus stop, train station, or subway platform this is who you call. "Hey you, with the counterfeit bus transfer! FREZE!!"
County Sheriff in Municipalities In some big cities with large police departments the sheriff's office is typically delegated the task of transporting prisoners to and from court, prison, and elsewhere. For that reason these "Glorified Bailiffs" are usually pretty nice folks. Once in a while on TV you'll see a courtroom outburst where some of these rotund Teddy Bears with guns have to restrain someone. It's usually the only time these guys have to be assholes. To their defense if you had to put down your coffee and paper to wrestle some irate drug dealer you'd probably be an asshole about it too.
Posts: 51 Rank: 38 Joined:
6/8/2007
Location:
Heaven, AK
Posted: 9/13/2007 12:22:30 PM
I, The King og Kings, am not with a Sense og Humor.
It is true that I set the events into motion that have brought Led Z back together. But, in My infinte hilarity, I have made therm decide to do ONLY ONE show in Europe. You must log onto a hard to find website and enter the 'lottery'. Over 20 million people have already enter to win the raffle. If you win this raffle, you then have to pay $250 just for the ticket. There are only 20,000 tickets.
the young female cop. She is my all-time favorite. During college, in a small town we got a young female cop during my junior year. She wasn't bad to look at, but thought she had to prove something. One night during a party the cops show up. I stall them at the front door while someone runs all the underagers out the cellar door in the back, and when the come in the house it's 10 or so people, mostly guys, all of age sitting in the living room drinking beers. Apparently there was little going on that night because 5 police cars and an ambulance showed up. With all this effort and nothing to arrest us for the cops hassle us in the living room for a while. At one point, we I start laughing because my roommate is checking out the chick cop. Then she turns and shines a flashlight on me and says "what's so funny?" I responded by pointing out that the lights were on, we're inside and the flashlight thing isn't having the desired effect." continued laughter and she turns to my roomate and says " do you want to end up handcuffed in the back of my car tonight?" he yells "oh yeah!" and the place erupts with laughter. The other cops, fighting back laughter had to take her outside because it was out of control.
Jesus, excellent list. I think we all need to follow it more closely. Also, great abs man. Have you been working out with BigNick?
Jesus, predictions on TPP fantasy football league? Also, what do you know about Sarah? Any dark secrets I should be aware of? Appreciate it, and of course-Jesus is Lord.
dc, superb post on every level. Quit hanging out with Violet Beauregarde though, looking a little purple.
"Ooompa, loompa, doopity doo. I've got another puzzle for you."
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