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Every other Thursday, Charlie DeMarco looks at another asshole who desperately deserves a life-changing physical assault.

by: CHARLIE DEMARCO
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'Anybody seen A.C.?'
Who else could it be...

OJ Simpson
Fuckin' OJ... If you somehow manage to get acquitted of double-murder despite the fact that everyone on earth knows you did it, wouldn't you keep your nose clean? Wouldn't you make absolutely certain that no judge ever gets the chance to exact revenge for the single most publicized miscarriage of justice in American history? Of course you would.

But not O.J. Simpson. He sets up his own personal sting operation aimed at a guy who had stolen some of his memorabilia. Among it, priceless items like a photo of O.J. and J. Edgar Hoover (?!). His plan was to organize a meeting with the thieves in a Las Vegas hotel, and upon seeing his stolen property to take it back, by force if necessary.

His brilliant sting didn't exactly go as planned:



First of all, O.J. has been watching too many gangster movies. Motherfucker! You think you can steal my shit, and sell it?!" Do you realize O.J. is 60-years-old? He sounds like some idiot thug teenager.

Secondly, he is brandishing a firearm while doing all of this! Now, I'm not a lawyer, but if I were, one of the first things I would tell all of my clients is to never break into a Las Vegas hotel room with a gun. As surprising as it may sound, armed robbery in a casino is not looked upon kindly by the authorities in Clark County.

Earlier this week, Nevada District Attorney charged Simpson, with multiple felonies, including criminal conspiracy, kidnapping, assault, robbery, and using a deadly weapon. He faces up to 60 years in prison.

What robs in Vegas stays in Vegas.

Of course Court TV jumped on the story. The chance to spend months, maybe years, rehashing the grizzly murders that launched their network made dicks hard in every office at the cable channel. "Entertainment Tonight" sent a familiar, if unpleasant face to cover the story: former prosecutor Marsha Clark. It's like 1989 all over again. Paula Abdul is probably preparing a comeback.

Watching these sharks circle for the chance to dig up Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman and fuck their corpses for profit is despicable, but if O.J. ends up spending the rest of his life in prison, it'll be worth it.



Donovan McNabb
Earlier this week in an interview with HBO's James Brown, struggling Philly QB, Donovan McNabb, said that black quarterbacks face more pressure and more criticism than white quarterbacks. Whether this is true or not is debatable. What is obvious is that Donovan McNabb should keep his mouth shut about it.

Philly fans boo everyone, but I don't remember the crowd cheering when he was injured last year. I do remember that happening to two white quarterbacks: Chad Pennington two weeks ago and to Tim Couch a few years ago. The race card just doesn't hold up. Certainly there is a history of prejudice at the QB position, but in today's NFL you'd be hard pressed to make that case.

More importantly, McNabb is in no position to make this claim. You make millions of dollars to play a game and to deal with the criticism and pressure of playing QB in the NFL. He's never played in any other city, and any attempt to compare the pressure on one guy vs. another is purely speculation. Even a completely unbiased observer would be hard pressed to make a meaningful comparison of the pressure on two QBs. There are just too many factors, and most would come way before race: the city, team expectations, contract, character, history, age, team's offensive philosophy, ability of surrounding skill players, etc.

To be honest, I like McNabb. He seems like a genuinely good guy who is usually pretty funny in interviews. Being clever was working for him. He should take Tyler Durdan's advice and, "Stick with it then." What he shouldn't do is complain about the criticism he's getting when he 1-6 in his last seven games. Maybe, just maybe, it isn't because he's black.
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COMMENTS  31-40 out of 124 Post Comment Message Board View
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Christine Nicky () Post #: 31
View Profile Posts: 2923
Rank: 1
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:28:17 PM
Nice stems. Should have went with some stillettos though, buttercup.
Spartan The Ad Banner () Post #: 32
View Profile Posts: 2115
Rank: 5
Joined:  2/27/2007
Location:  Ventura, CA
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:28:20 PM
Usually pops up in the Members screen for me. I have wasted many company hours looking at those two blondies play tongue tornado.
Spartan p.s. () Post #: 33
View Profile Posts: 2115
Rank: 5
Joined:  2/27/2007
Location:  Ventura, CA
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:29:35 PM
Nick. I'd do you.
vertigo whoa () Post #: 34
View Profile Posts: 1318
Rank: 4
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  dallas, TX
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:29:55 PM
CAPTAIN CAVEMAN!!!!!!!!

Christine, nice. And she's right JuniorMint, don't be afraid to be 6 ft tall.
7 crown Apparently I'm the only asshole () Post #: 35
View Profile Posts: 115
Rank: 2140
Joined:  7/23/2007
Location:  Albany, NY
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:35:16 PM
who got a hearty chuckle out of the Lone Ranger joke. You all are way too cool for school.

Donovan McNabb might've had my sympathy the day before Super Bowl 39, and mostly only because Rush Limbaugh is a dumb fat fuck. He made the phrase 'coughing it up' literal in terms of big time sports performances.

Since that season, Charlie Batch has consistently outplayed him. There's a hershey who deserves a starting job.
dc Crown () Post #: 36
View Profile Posts: 1238
Rank: 15
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  Clearwater, FL
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:39:01 PM
Just admit it, the joke wasn't funny and was very dated. You are just trying to get into Anna's pants.
BN Christine () Post #: 37
View Profile Posts: 1265
Rank: 7
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  TPP Island, NY
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:39:06 PM
Mock all you want but even Vert has deemed me to be more fuckable than you...




*wait*


What am i saying?


agh

I HATE YOU TMAN!
Christine I'm just () Post #: 38
View Profile Posts: 2923
Rank: 1
Joined:  12/7/2006
Location:  Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:40:59 PM
Mad that you're leaving us. I'd do you too now. Only in the outfit though.


Arrogant Bastard, if your crisis gets adverted today can we please discuss our bet? I play you this week.
Dangerface Big Nick () Post #: 39
View Profile Posts: 21
Rank: 77
Joined:  9/18/2007
Location:  Crapchester, NY
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:42:55 PM
Not to be disrespectful, but let me paint tits on your back...you sexy bitch!

I mean...sir.
7 crown dc () Post #: 40
View Profile Posts: 115
Rank: 2140
Joined:  7/23/2007
Location:  Albany, NY
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:43:15 PM
I have access to volatile chemicals, and I live near the woods. I don't need to feign laughter to get in her pants.

Idle curiosity: where's Clearwater? Would you say you're closest to Tampa, Miami, Orlando, or Tallahassee?
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