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'Anybody seen A.C.?'
Who else could it be...
OJ Simpson Fuckin' OJ... If you somehow manage to get acquitted of double-murder despite the fact that everyone on earth knows you did it, wouldn't you keep your nose clean? Wouldn't you make absolutely certain that no judge ever gets the chance to exact revenge for the single most publicized miscarriage of justice in American history? Of course you would.
But not O.J. Simpson. He sets up his own personal sting operation aimed at a guy who had stolen some of his memorabilia. Among it, priceless items like a photo of O.J. and J. Edgar Hoover (?!). His plan was to organize a meeting with the thieves in a Las Vegas hotel, and upon seeing his stolen property to take it back, by force if necessary.
His brilliant sting didn't exactly go as planned:
First of all, O.J. has been watching too many gangster movies. Motherfucker! You think you can steal my shit, and sell it?!" Do you realize O.J. is 60-years-old? He sounds like some idiot thug teenager.
Secondly, he is brandishing a firearm while doing all of this! Now, I'm not a lawyer, but if I were, one of the first things I would tell all of my clients is to never break into a Las Vegas hotel room with a gun. As surprising as it may sound, armed robbery in a casino is not looked upon kindly by the authorities in Clark County.
Earlier this week, Nevada District Attorney charged Simpson, with multiple felonies, including criminal conspiracy, kidnapping, assault, robbery, and using a deadly weapon. He faces up to 60 years in prison.
What robs in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Of course Court TV jumped on the story. The chance to spend months, maybe years, rehashing the grizzly murders that launched their network made dicks hard in every office at the cable channel. "Entertainment Tonight" sent a familiar, if unpleasant face to cover the story: former prosecutor Marsha Clark. It's like 1989 all over again. Paula Abdul is probably preparing a comeback.
Watching these sharks circle for the chance to dig up Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman and fuck their corpses for profit is despicable, but if O.J. ends up spending the rest of his life in prison, it'll be worth it.
Donovan McNabb Earlier this week in an interview with HBO's James Brown, struggling Philly QB, Donovan McNabb, said that black quarterbacks face more pressure and more criticism than white quarterbacks. Whether this is true or not is debatable. What is obvious is that Donovan McNabb should keep his mouth shut about it.
Philly fans boo everyone, but I don't remember the crowd cheering when he was injured last year. I do remember that happening to two white quarterbacks: Chad Pennington two weeks ago and to Tim Couch a few years ago. The race card just doesn't hold up. Certainly there is a history of prejudice at the QB position, but in today's NFL you'd be hard pressed to make that case.
More importantly, McNabb is in no position to make this claim. You make millions of dollars to play a game and to deal with the criticism and pressure of playing QB in the NFL. He's never played in any other city, and any attempt to compare the pressure on one guy vs. another is purely speculation. Even a completely unbiased observer would be hard pressed to make a meaningful comparison of the pressure on two QBs. There are just too many factors, and most would come way before race: the city, team expectations, contract, character, history, age, team's offensive philosophy, ability of surrounding skill players, etc.
To be honest, I like McNabb. He seems like a genuinely good guy who is usually pretty funny in interviews. Being clever was working for him. He should take Tyler Durdan's advice and, "Stick with it then." What he shouldn't do is complain about the criticism he's getting when he 1-6 in his last seven games. Maybe, just maybe, it isn't because he's black.
my darling dearest, you name the bet, and as long as it's fair and or reasonable stakes, I'm game.
I'll try to think of something good, but all anyone on here wants is to see patty and tatty, and to be honest, I'm bored with that and know that you wouldn't do it.
Posts: 903 Rank: 3 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Los Angeles, CA
Posted: 9/20/2007 2:56:37 PM
Oh my damn! I just want to cover you with butterscotch and give myself a cavity!
For our bet this week, I want a new pic of you, from the waist up, with your shirt off and you showing off the muscles in a classic Hulk Hogan pose. You may or may not paint on a yellow mustache. What do you want of me if I were to lose?
Posts: 831 Rank: 11 Joined:
12/14/2006
Location:
Washington, DC
Posted: 9/20/2007 3:05:01 PM
The bet should be for Christine to send you a pair of her panties. That way you'll be all the rage at the next UM tailgate with one of those money water balloon launchers...only yours will be leopard skinned.
Posts: 2923 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 9/20/2007 3:09:47 PM
I'm not sure if that was an insult to me or not. If it was, I would like to point out that my previous post about crickets was not saying that your post wasn't funny, I meant that the "joke" it referenced was not funny and deserved one of your *crickets*.
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Donovan McNabb
