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It's On!
Hey buddy. I see you’re checking out those Cool Whip containers huh? You've got a good eye my friend. No? You weren’t? Well that’s too bad. A fella could keep pretty much anything he wants in those. It’s just like Tupperware really. Same thing. But that’s cool. It’s your loss. Just keep looking. I’m sure you’ll find something you want to buy at my Shitty Garage Sale.
Do you like clothes? Looking to update the old wardrobe a bit? Well you came to the right place my friend. How about this long sleeved shirt that has the word “Aeropostale” really big on it? This was a gift from my mom. I’ve never even worn it. Think about it. What a great way to look fashionable while letting everyone know that you shop at Aeropostale! No? Not your style? I hear you.
Well then how about this Darius Miles Cleveland Cavaliers jersey? At 3 bucks that’s a steal! He’s doing some great stuff in Portland nowadays. No it’s not “dated”. It’s a “Throwback”. That’s the look right now. It’s what all those rappers are wearing.
Come on dude, buy something.
Yes, we have baby clothes.
How about this Nintendo Entertainment System? This thing’s a classic! I’ll even throw in a couple of games. Say, “Bad Dudes” the “Super Mario/Duck Hunt” combo. Sound good? Five minutes of playing those and you’ll say, “X-Box what?” Yeah, the door part broke off the console a long time ago. But it still works if you blow in it a little. No, I don’t know where the little gray box TV connector piece is. But you can get one of those at any Radio Shack..
Come on man!
Are you a movie buff? I’ve got some great VHS tapes over here that it’s just killing me to part with. Remember “The Mask”? Jim Carrey was so great in that! With all those crazy faces he makes!
Or how about “Father of the Bride 2”? Steve Martin’s back and his family’s still driving him nuts! No? Gonna pass on that? All right. It’s your funeral man.
How about this “Ab Roller”? This was endorsed by that ponytail guy. Summer’s right around the corner man, are you ready for the swimsuit season? No sale? Okay.
Buy my Sociology text book from college! The book store wouldn’t buy it back because they weren’t teaching this class the next semester. You should buy it. What do you mean “No Thanks”? I guess you know everything there is to know about Sociology, huh professor? My bad. I wasn’t aware of that.
Well there has to be something here at my Shitty Garage Sale that you want to buy.
I have been waiting for someone to rip on these tools!! Those who hold garage sales are worse than those that shop at them. You can't feel sorry for some ass wipe that actually tries to make a buck on his 10 year old dish set.
Chris Matthews
To TheVic
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Post #: 12
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Posted: 5/2/2005 3:19:55 PM
Worst syntax ever. Unclear referent. Please revise and re-post.
This weekend, the little lady wanted to go to a neighborhood garage sale (the worst kind), and we took the dog. Everybody was cooing at the dog until he shit in the yard. He has the right idea. I just wish he would've shit in the garage.
Steve
To TheChrisMatthews
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Posted: 5/2/2005 3:48:46 PM
Chris Matthews, You wrote:
"Worst syntax ever. Unclear referent. Please revise and re-post"
go back to correcting your 3rd Grade Judy Blume book reports, you failure.
dan
correction for steve
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Posted: 5/2/2005 7:43:15 PM
the contra code only requires "BA" to be hit once, not twice.
Good article, Polk.
steve
Damn you Dan
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Posted: 5/3/2005 3:00:43 PM
You are not correct. You should be ashamed of yourself for not knowing the correct code; unless, you're in your teens and you're a hippy and just started playing NES because it's "vintage." Then, I'll forgive you.
RC
Garage Sales Suck $$$
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Posted: 5/3/2005 3:32:01 PM
"Unfair to payor but not to payee"...(Spaceballs).
What is eBay but a garage sale with exhorbitant mark-ups? You could seriously buy crap at a garage sale and auction it for 10x on eBay. Just imagine, Snowman, those two grandmas not fighting over the ugly curtains, but rather out-bidding each other!
I give stuff every year to my in-laws to sell at their sale...no sitting around on my part and at the end of the day I'm usually $200+ richer.
P.S. I love the garage sales where the "collector" is selling off 50 years of Penthouse magazines. The only thing "collecting" is the stuck-together pages of Miss October!
PowerUp
"Konami Code"
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Posted: 5/3/2005 3:33:59 PM
Up Up Down Down Left Right Left Right B A gets you 30 lives at start-up. Also make sure you have the spread gun when you get to the end of Base 1. It makes it a lot easier to destroy the guns pointed at you.
Tom A
How Much You Asking
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Posted: 5/3/2005 3:47:42 PM
for that Sit 'N Spin?
GN
YEAH!
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Posted: 5/3/2005 4:01:09 PM
Aw man, of all random elements floating in the blogosphere, FINALLY someone mentions garage sales. Excellent start for my lunch break. Excuse me while I nuke my TasteeBite combo...
*Ding!* Ok, now I'm ready. I actually enjoyed the 3-4 years that I went to garage sales with my dad every weekend. I found some pretty cool, weird things for next to nothing out of the pocket. The only disaster and embarassment was when my dad decided to hold a garage sale himself - it literally *was* a hodge podge of useless junk that had accumulated in our garage over a decade or so (no, not the cool, weird things that I found, btw). Oh yeah, we're talking' oodles of frayed phone cords and extension cords, broken phones, miscellaneous rusted tool parts, bolts and nuts, old moldy Popular Mechanics mags, a bent bicycle rim missing spokes, shelving L-brackets, a huge (non-operating) wooden console TV, etc. So yeah, it's junk. But he was trying to pawn this stuff off for $$! Needless to say, lookieloos came and went without a sale. Wack.
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