The following are a series of letters written by Don Mattingly to his high school sweetheart Anne Meriwether. They were intercepted by a sports memorabilia collector and have recently been posted on e-bay with a minimum bid of $2,000. Anne never received the letters and knew nothing of Mattingly's attempts to contact her. She is currently married to an abusive roofer.
June 8th, 1979
Dearest Anne,
Hey, it's Don. Sorry about that thing at the prom. I swear I didn't mean what I said. It's just that Scoops got me drunk and I really did think I was fucking Amy Stoneman, but I'm not. Plus Amy's all pissed off too 'cause she heard about it. You can ask her - we're just friends. Well, at least we were. Anyway, there's good news. I got drafted today by the New York Yankees. Can you believe it? Me, a Yankee. I hope I fit in. They're sending me off to Oneonta next week. I hope that we can put our troubles aside and see each other before then. I'll be thinking of you.
Miss you,
Don
June 29th, 1979
Anne,
Hey, it's Don. I guess you're still pissed. Well, I'm not in Evansville anymore. I'm in the minors and it's okay, but I miss you. There's a bunch of girls that like us ballplayers, but I told them that I'm taken. That is to imply that you're my girl. You are my girl, right? Cause if you are then maybe you should write back. I'm lonely and in a bit of a slump. I was thinking about that time in high school when I was in a slump and you did that thing with your tongue that you never did before and then I started hitting the shit out of the ball... yeah, well I was thinking if you wanted you could come here and do that again - if you want. Anyway, I miss you. Write soon, okay?
See you soon?
Don
July 18th, 1979
Anne,
Hey, it's Don. I'm hitting .378 and I found a girl that can do that tongue thing just like you, only better. I also have a mustache now. The chicks dig it. They're talking about calling me up to double A next year. I'm gonna be in the big leagues. What have you done? Nothing. I'll bet Scoops and you are having fun, aren't you. Well guess what, Donnie's having fun too. I love the minors - and I don't love you.
Don
July 19th, 1979
Anne,
Hey, it's Don. Um, I was a little drunk when I wrote that letter yesterday. I sent it by mistake this morning. Sorry about that. I am doing well and things are fine, but I'd like to hear from you. I miss you sweet tits.
One of many 80's novelty baseball posters
Awaiting a reply,
Don
August 4th, 1979
Anne,
Hey, it's Don. Fuck you.
Don
September 6th, 1982
Anne,
Hey, it's Don. Don who? Don fucking Mattingly - big league baseball player. Making the league minimum, $42,000. Take that and smoke it. I'll bet now you wish you would have gotten back to me, huh? But you didn't. I have this great girl named Kim and I think I'm going to make her last name Mattingly. What do you think of that? You're pretty stupid.
Don
July 7th, 1984
Anne,
Hey, it's Don. I'm an All-Star and I just had my first child to Kim Mattingly. No, not Anne Mattingly the way God planned it, but Kim Mattingly. I make $220,000 now and I have a big house. You have everything but me. Take that, bitch.
Donnie Baseball
November 3rd, 1995
Anne,
Hey, it's Don. I'm retired and my back is killing me, but the $8.7 million I've banked over the past few years takes away some of the pain. They're going to retire my number and I'm a hero in New York. I don't know what you've done, but it isn't as good as me - you can bet on that. I'll bet you feel pretty bad, huh? Well, you should. I'm just writing to say that I'm over you. I have three kids and a wife that returns my letters. She even cooks now and then. I don't care about you anymore and I thought you should know that. Today I burned my high school yearbooks to symbolize the end of it all. It's over Anne, it's finally over. I'm sorry.
DON MATTINGLY'S GREAT GREAT NEPHEW Posted: 2/14/2006by: JEFF COLBURN YES I'M DON MATTINGLY GREAT,GREAT NEPHEW brilliant Posted: 7/29/2005by: dave these letters are fake?!?!?!
no shit haha Posted: 5/2/2005by: Lukereport Nice job by all you fucking sleuths who figured out that these letters are a fabrication. A bunch of sharp fucking tools in THIS shed! Yee haw!
To the writers: Excellent work. Bizarre, savvy, sensless, and generally outstanding.
Love, Lance Blankenship donnie baseball enjoys the company of men Posted: 4/25/2005by: yankee my wankee these letters are obviously fake. Mr Mattingly had the big gay biker mustache and off the field wore black leather outfits that accentuated his buttocks. It was a well known fact that he performed poorly whenever he was playing a series in Boston (The Queer capitol of the Western Hemisphere) due to having multiple ass hammers per evening. Therefore, the letters are fugazi...now if they were addressed to Wade (Boggs) or Darryl (Strawberry) I'd have believed it. F the Yanks and the Sox. As a matter of fact piss on the entire east coast! Maybe they are real? Posted: 4/25/2005by: Wayne I looked it up, Mattingly was drafted by the Yankees in June of 1979. As if the Cubs would have the foresight to draft Mattingly. Ha! not real Posted: 4/25/2005by: Dan I'm pretty sure Mattingly was actually drafted by the Cubs so that would be your first clue that those letters are a bunch of BS Donnie Baseball Posted: 4/24/2005by: Tommy You cant say anything bad about this guy....he is my hero and my all-time favorite baseball player. Its just a shame he never won a world series, he deserves it. what BS Posted: 4/24/2005by: joey If you actually believe this is real, your a moron. This clown is trying to say that Mattingly, throughout the course of his entire career, sent letters to this girl and they were all "intercepted" by a sports collector? How exactly do you intercept mail anyway? Steal from her mailbox? There is also nothing in those letters (or any letters) specific to Don Mattingly. Its all crap anybody could have made up. Those letters sound just like any letter a high school kid writes his girlfriend. Thats to ignore any of the other dozen anomolies. red sox are faggie faggies Posted: 4/24/2005by: hotshids2000 I am a red sox fan from connecticut and i love shlobbing knobs. This is kind of true for all red sox fans. When a game is on, we really pack it in. In general, connecticut hosts that largest gay balls in the country; no, not those balls silly, the ones you dance and prance at. By the way, I am definately Hot Shids 2000!!! My best fantasy baseball player is Paul Lo Duca. I'm a star. Mattingly Family Posted: 4/23/2005by: Gary I guess you would have to know the Mattingly family and live here in Evansville, to know how stupid this is. You may love Donnie or hate him for his baseball moves, but when it comes to his devotion to his wife and family, to me, he's an idol. Just take it from someone that knows him and the family personally, these letters are fake, so don't waste your time.
