 | Lord Stanley's Cup:
The Greatest Trophy in Sports |
Ever since I was a kid, the first half of every new year was my favorite time for sports. You have the NFL Playoffs, Superbowl, NCAA tourney, Spring Training, Opening Day, the Masters, and of course the race for Lord Stanleys Cup. This year we are being robbed of the capper to that great string of sports events. There will be no Stanley Cup Playoffs this year, and I am heart broken. Okay, Im not heartbroken, but Im a little thrown off.
The 211-day-old NHL lockout is a national tragedy for our friendly neighbors to the North, and things arent looking good for next season either. Americans have the NBA and MLB to distract them from the gapping void left by the end of hockey season, but all Canadians have is curling and Molson. Well for Alex Trebek, William Shatner, Pamela Anderson, Keanu Reeves, Peter North, Norm McDonald, Gideon Sundback inventor of the Zipper, Michael Ironside and all of our other Canadian friends that sucks.
In a gesture of good will to the Great White North, or as I like to call it Generic America (just kidding Canada. You know I love you), I have assembled the crew here at the Phat Phree to create the Top Ten Things We Miss Most About the NHL.
CUE: 'Cuts Like A Knife' by Canadian Rocker Bryan Adams
- 10. Fights On Sports Center - A cold spring night seems a little colder when the SportsCenter Top Ten lacks even one glove-shedding hockey fight.
- 9. The Canadian Anthem - Twenty-five years of tradition makesO Canada one of the most powerful and amazing national anthems of them all. And since Canadas Olympic team is shit, and the Expos are now in Washington, Hockey games are one of the few places you can here it. Thats a damn shame.
 | The True North strong and free! |
I DARE YOU to read these lyrics and not get a lump in your throat:
O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.
With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!
From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
- 8. Cool Foreign Names - Peter Leboutiller, Joel Kwiatkowski, Mariusz Czerkawski, Boby Hach, Munt Sunualit, Itord Lamoppe, Robert Bionikelle, Josh Osebergskipet, Eirik Irgens Punctis, Tutue Rubikalleo, Amin Mass, Amonbofils Calder The list goes on and on.
- 7. The Los Angeles Mighty Ducks of Anaheim - Living here in Los Angeles, I was really excited about the prospect of having a second team. I mean, the Kings, while enjoying a surge in popularity thanks to West Coast Rappers in the 90s, are turds. The Ducks are actually pretty good I hear.
- 6. The Coolest Trophy in Sports - There is nothing that compares to Lord Stanleys Cup. Its that simple.
 | MC Ren Loves The Kings... |
- 5. Uh... Shit.
Okay, well top five reasons, but those are pretty solid reasons I think.
Thanks to Aaron McBride, Adam Epstein, Alex Blagg, Curfew Religion, Big Ed, Brenda Della Casa, Brett Stern, Bob Castrone, Chad Zumock, Charles Moore, Chris Queen, Chris Browne, Clare DeCapua, Dan Donatelli, Dan Levine, Dave Amiott, Gabe Uhr, Gary Lane, George Ganoe, Greg Neff, James Renner, Jason Herron, Jason Katzwinkel, Jason Mulgrew, Jack Bauer, Jef Etters, Jesse Lamovsky, Jim Fath, Jimmy Colo, Jim Waldecker, Joe Engles, Joe Nash, Larry Housel, Larry Buhl, Lee Roy Dobbs, Majors Lane, Marjorie Preston, Mark McKenzie, Melinda Urick, Merlot, Mike Polk, Mike Beder, Mike Martone, Mike Pfahl, Napalm Jones, Pat McLellan, Patrick OConnor, Paul Snepsts, Pete Keeley, Preson Albert, Pat Walter, Scott Simone, Slade Ham, Mike Lowe, M. Thomas L., Carol Ha, Tommy Delerio, Matthew L. McCoy, Justin Harvey and Vince Maskeeper for their help assembling the list.
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