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Member Since:
3/20/2006
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San Diego, CA
Posted: 7/5/2006
These are 25 things that I've learned over the years. These are my mistakes: don't let them be yours!:
1.) Never buy cocaine from a guy who drives a shittier car than you do. It's okay to buy the cheap shit (meth, weed, crack...) from a guy with a crappy car, but not the good shit.
2.) In Vegas, guys on the street pass out little cards with a hooker’s picture, phone number and a price of $49.95. Don't believe that price; they cost way more then 50 bucks!
...I thought this was pretty funny. I liked the line about making sure you remember the fake name and job you come up w/ if you're feeding a line of bullshit to a girl.
jacks
ehhh
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Posted: 7/5/2006 9:23:05 AM
it had a few moments.
Patrick M
funny
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Posted: 7/5/2006 9:30:33 AM
good quick read.
darby
Fantastic
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Posted: 7/5/2006 11:20:00 AM
This was great. Mister Orange is a pussy that will never need advise like this because he will never get laid.
darby
correction
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Posted: 7/5/2006 11:22:37 AM
"Advice" i spell like a TFF writer
Pat
quality
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Posted: 7/5/2006 11:48:03 AM
I LOL'd at several of the items.
Im a guy
Great article
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Posted: 7/5/2006 12:03:48 PM
This was a very good article. Best one in over a month. Great job.
natgaspunk
bout f'in time
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Posted: 7/5/2006 12:19:53 PM
very funny, eerily accurate, and completely overdue.... phat phree on a major cold streak lately.. but this is giving me hope
goatlover
Solid
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Posted: 7/5/2006 12:45:23 PM
Did I write this and forget about it? Is my name Jake Scott?
Damn funny and spot-on!
Max
number 19
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Posted: 7/5/2006 12:59:54 PM
"Don't piss off God!"
Considering the lifestyle depicted in numbers 1-18, I want to know what you would have to do to "piss off God."
Good work, enjoyed it.
dc
excellent
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Posted: 7/5/2006 2:19:12 PM
Not blowing your load in your friend's girlfriend's mouth was the topper.
Antony
you live a storied life...
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Posted: 7/5/2006 2:33:00 PM
this is the single greatest list of instructions aside from that line on MRE boxes that says, and i quote "set up against a rock or something"... i say my man, you're alright. i would only disagree with line 25, because deep down, does anyone really care about their BFF from highschool when they're getting throat-pumped by his cum-dumpster of a girlfriend, or by his dope-dealing older sister, or his "i'll fuck you for rent money" aunt?
Horus
Mr.
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Posted: 7/5/2006 3:02:31 PM
#14 was my fav I think. Awesome Article!
BigNick
Max
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Posted: 7/5/2006 3:13:48 PM
Good question...Great article
skip
Loved that.
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Posted: 7/5/2006 3:49:27 PM
that was just fantastic. kudos.
your mom
Really, really good
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Posted: 7/5/2006 3:55:47 PM
Very nice work, one of the best things ive read on this site
Tangent Guy
Good to Know
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Posted: 7/5/2006 4:28:38 PM
I agree with the majority - this was a good read. I even enjoyed the ones I knew already. And, as near as I can tell, these are all true (except that if she is shitty at giving head she may have been telling the truth when she said only four guys).
DLamp
Well Played
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Post #: 19
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Posted: 7/5/2006 4:49:05 PM
I really enjoyed this.
"Trust me; your buddies are the only ones who think that story is funny. "
Not anymore. I can't tell you how many times that happened to me in college. Is it my fault I'm too drunk to finish really fast (like I normally would)?
DLR
Liked it!
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Posted: 7/5/2006 5:33:01 PM
Though I'm surprised that you didn't include any of the gems spouted by the coach in "Teen Wolf", like "Never play cards with a guy that has the same first name as a city".....
damian
yep
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Post #: 21
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Posted: 7/6/2006 10:33:25 AM
this sucked
Jason Mathews
Didn't suck, but...
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Post #: 22
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Posted: 7/7/2006 5:53:04 AM
Nah, this didn't suck. It had some very funny moments, but 4.40 with 308 votes? What the hell? There must be a fucking Frat house giving this thing 5's or something.
Bored@Work
Good Stuff
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Post #: 23
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Posted: 7/7/2006 8:21:06 AM
Probably one of the funniest articles that I've read off of this site.
Blake
Michael
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Posted: 7/7/2006 10:43:26 AM
This is so funny that i'd like to lick your harry ball sack
wow
Apparently...
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Post #: 25
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Posted: 7/7/2006 3:03:57 PM
this is the funniest article ever posted. congratulations
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