The Phat Phree is a proud member of the Crave Online advertising network
THE PHAT PHREE MESSAGE BOARD
All Channels > The World Page 1 of 9
Ryan McKee The Friend Game Original Post
View Profile Posts: 4
Rank: 287
Member Since:  11/9/2005
Location:  Los Angeles, CA
Posted: 9/11/2007

I put this photo of my on my friends refridgerators when they're not looking
Penetrating the Secret World of the Just Be Friends Artist

Pickup Artists says it's a bad thing when girls say "Let's just be friends." Wrong. Today she's just your friend, but in six or seven years you can make her your best friend. And best friends get to: hug, quick lip kiss, sleep in the same bed, zip up the back of her dress, and have drunken mistake sex.

I know you're asking, "How do I become a Just Be Friends Artist or a a JBFA for short?" Well, I can teach you. Now you're asking, ... Read Full Story
  Sort Comments:       Filter By Rating: 
Username must be between 5-25 characters.

Password must be between 5-20 characters.
Why should I sign up?
  • Post and rate comments, participate in discussions and enter contests.
  • Keep a list of your favorite writers and articles.
  • Earn points you can redeem at Shitley's for shirts, books and more.
  • Jesus would sign up.

    Click here to sign up!
  • Spartan This article = Me in high school () Post #: 1
    View Profile Posts: 2047
    Rank: 5
    Joined:  2/27/2007
    Location:  Ventura, CA
    Posted: 9/11/2007 10:41:38 AM
    I was Duckie and Shannon Hughes was my Molly Ringwald.
    I was such a fuckin' simp-ass-bitch for that girl.

    BUT, I eventually got to hit it, so it all worked out.


    BETA!!!11!!!!
    brikz Was this written by () Post #: 2
    View Profile Posts: 603
    Rank: 21
    Joined:  12/8/2006
    Location:  north babylon, NY
    Posted: 9/11/2007 10:52:08 AM
    Christine's "cute boy"? We should have known it was you McKee.
    dc BN () Post #: 3
    View Profile Posts: 1195
    Rank: 15
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Clearwater, FL
    Posted: 9/11/2007 11:04:44 AM
    Did you write the caption on the first pic?
    Stiggs My BETA friend () Post #: 4
    View Profile Posts: 280
    Rank: 26
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  East Lansing, MI
    Posted: 9/11/2007 11:05:29 AM
    Arun, a 6 foot 2 tall, 140 pound Indian kid, who has a faux hawk, emo glasses, wears My Chemical Romance t-shirts, is a section leader in the MSU band, who plays guitar, and actually took a class on massage therapy, has been the bff for a girl for about 2 years now, and now is boning her with his uncircumcised, brown meat stick.





    Ain't that America?
    EVIL FRANK WTF () Post #: 5
    View Profile Posts: 420
    Rank: 19
    Joined:  8/5/2007
    Location:  La Crosse, WI
    Posted: 9/11/2007 11:10:10 AM
    What's with your Avatar Spart?
    Is that the latest missing kid you picked up holding a ransom note?
    I checked your pro and I see some ass Cowboy?

    BETAS.4.LIFE


    The Filth Stiggs you have to admire his persistance () Post #: 6
    View Profile Posts: 769
    Rank: 17
    Joined:  6/20/2007
    Location:  Norristown, PA
    Posted: 9/11/2007 11:13:14 AM
    Its like a Jack Russell terrier trying to bring down a Cape Buffalo, and somehow he pulled it off.
    vertigo nice () Post #: 7
    View Profile Posts: 1278
    Rank: 4
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  dallas, TX
    Posted: 9/11/2007 11:19:27 AM
    Very good again McKee. Can girls be JBFA's? If so, I think we have a possible great one in Christine. Last guy she banged was you through editing and cross-cutting video.

    Pic 3 caption: "Is the red belt too over the top?"

    "OOOOOOOO werewolves of london!"
    Stiggs Oh don't get me wrong, () Post #: 8
    View Profile Posts: 280
    Rank: 26
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  East Lansing, MI
    Posted: 9/11/2007 11:21:28 AM
    We've been rooting for him for the past few years now, and hell, we're proud he managed to pull in some decent tail, but it's just not the same with a mopey Indian around, wondering "why girls suck".

    "Damn it, why do girls suck?"
    "Because they have friends like you to complain about how sore their vag is after being pounded by their boyfriend, and you sit there and take it like a little bitch?"
    "Because a good majority of girls that go here are pretty dumb?"
    "Because their fathers didn't show them enough love growing up?"
    "Because they have low self esteem and my hand is holding them there?"
    "...I hate you guys..."

    We had so many discussions on the reasons why girls sucked, and all of which, except for "Aaron" had to do with our own flesh knobs. Where do we get the prompt now to embarrass him at various public locations now, like Steak and Shake and in front of his marching band section?
    TM Vert () Post #: 9
    View Profile Posts: 1123
    Rank: 9
    Joined:  3/13/2007
    Location:  My Cubicle, CO
    Posted: 9/11/2007 11:23:00 AM
    I think that red is the bottom of one of the 17 shirts he wearing.

    I dont think anything could more accurately portray the BETA than Not Another Teen Movie, that character was perfectly pathetic.
    Arrogant Bastahhd I hate these creepy little fuckers () Post #: 10
    View Profile Posts: 1271
    Rank: 13
    Joined:  2/22/2007
    Location:  miami, FL
    Posted: 9/11/2007 11:48:22 AM
    Ya know they've got some weird hair doll of the girl at home, and all that pent up rage, humiliation and self loathing will eventually lead to

    A. suicide (best possible result)
    B. animal mutiliation (keep your eyes peeled)
    C. serial killings (that's where these guys come from)



    BN It's impossible () Post #: 11
    View Profile Posts: 1265
    Rank: 7
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  TPP Island, NY
    Posted: 9/11/2007 11:52:24 AM
    to be best friends with a chick you wanna fuck. If you are best friends with her, it isn't mutual and she bitches to her "dick boyfriend" that your gay ass is going to be jealous the said dick boy friend is with her today. Homos should sac up and tell the bitch they wanna fuck her. Obviously i've had ex's with the homo best friend that got at it after i'm through violating every orafice on her, cuming on her face, dick poking her eye after nutting on face and just generally treating her like an alaround whore for as long as i'm entertained by it. Enjoy the fucking emotional mess that i've left you with pal.
    Christine I had one () Post #: 12
    View Profile Posts: 2831
    Rank: 2
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Philadelphia, PA
    Posted: 9/11/2007 11:52:44 AM
    For years. Had no interest in him. But he ended up being the first to meet Queen Alice. and now he uses me like a disposable contact and makes me feel dirty and shameful. I think he got his revenge.

    Great job Ryan. Your ability to thwart the everyday retard is mind boggling.
    BN Stop your crying () Post #: 13
    View Profile Posts: 1265
    Rank: 7
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  TPP Island, NY
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:00:17 PM
    "I feel like a disposable contact." Cry me a fucking river... Sex is a bodily function, no different than a fart. Get out there and "cut the cheese".
    vertigo christine () Post #: 14
    View Profile Posts: 1278
    Rank: 4
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  dallas, TX
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:00:42 PM
    Why don't you call him to break the slump?

    Balls, where is the kegger tonight? I heard your ex is banging a Kappa.

    "Nobody does it better, nobody does it better."
    The Filth Much as I hate to be a hardass () Post #: 15
    View Profile Posts: 769
    Rank: 17
    Joined:  6/20/2007
    Location:  Norristown, PA
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:05:21 PM
    That's the position you put yourself in and you allowed him to do it. And Vert has a point, he is your slumpbuster. If it helps you mentally to view him as your jumpoff - whatever.

    Send pictures.

    Excelsior.
    Christine I never call him () Post #: 16
    View Profile Posts: 2831
    Rank: 2
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Philadelphia, PA
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:06:58 PM
    But I did when I was in NYC cause he lives there and he ignored me. didn't even respond. That's why I bunked with tom a. I'm done with him.

    Igick, that was graphic, thank you.
    Disco-mothafuckin-Paul Alzheimer's () Post #: 17
    View Profile Posts: 10
    Rank: 412
    Joined:  9/6/2007
    Location:  Philadelphia, PA
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:10:44 PM
    Disco-mothafuckin-Paul could not remember his fucking password evn though he only created it four days ago.

    Niche.

    As for this article, it was like Donna Summer Lovin' to love me baby.

    Disco-mothfuckin-Paul is pleased.

    Spartan Excelsior!!! () Post #: 18
    View Profile Posts: 2047
    Rank: 5
    Joined:  2/27/2007
    Location:  Ventura, CA
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:17:06 PM
    Holy shit. Post #13 is Hall of Fame. Well done Nick.

    Christine - Maybe if you weren't such a fat pig, you would have more confidence when you find yourself with a guy in your bed.
    I KNOW you are worried about showing your gut to some potential fuck-piston, so keep up the good work on your diet. I'm pulling for you....
    Seriously though, go get laid, quickly, because if you don't get laid by October 1st, I'm going to order you a male escort.

    I love you.
    The Filth That's not what happened, Spart () Post #: 19
    View Profile Posts: 769
    Rank: 17
    Joined:  6/20/2007
    Location:  Norristown, PA
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:23:15 PM
    I know what happened. He's a quiet guy, and he was waiting for a pause in the conversation so he could make his move and she never stopped talking. He doesn't want to just jump her and he figures at some point she'll take a breath and he can jump in, but it doesn't happen.

    Then she kept doing stuff to throw him off-balance, like the long tooth brushing. He's sitting there trying to figure out if she's knitting a quilt in there and she brushing each molar a hundred times on each side. In the end, he just figures 'fuck it' tucks his orange feet beneath a blanket and lives to fight another day.
    Craven Morhed Good read but mind the Betas () Post #: 20
    View Profile Posts: 16
    Rank: 184
    Joined:  12/12/2006
    Location:  Swilladelphia, PA
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:30:29 PM
    I played the role of the Beta to the girlfriends of all of the big studs in my high school and college so that they didn't feel threatened. All the while I was pounding holes like I was standing in front of a whack-a-mole at Chuck E Cheese and doing it on the sly.

    Christine, I've got a wedding coming up in Villanova on the 22nd that you are welcome to crash if you want. Many eligible bachelors with giant meat popsicles that would love to meet you. Conshy Mariot for the post-party. . .
    Shit Sandwich Off topic () Post #: 21
    View Profile Posts: 803
    Rank: 11
    Joined:  12/14/2006
    Location:  Washington, DC
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:34:39 PM
    http://www.wyff4.com/news/14082920/detail.html

    Names of the involved:

    Gash: Chamaiporn Chongpatana
    Dude: Xao Steve Vang

    Jesus H. Christ...good riddance!

    P.S. Note where this blessed event took place.
    Shit Sandwich BTW () Post #: 22
    View Profile Posts: 803
    Rank: 11
    Joined:  12/14/2006
    Location:  Washington, DC
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:39:52 PM
    Did Ching-Chong Keile show up yesterday? Who let that bitch out of the internment camp?! Fuck!!!
    BN Game () Post #: 23
    View Profile Posts: 1265
    Rank: 7
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  TPP Island, NY
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:45:16 PM
    What other headlines might one find in the Spartansburg News?

    "Man changes name 38 time in three months"
    "Ecstacy rampint in Spartansburg"
    "Red Dragon for sale, B.O. or interesting trade"

    TM Headlines () Post #: 24
    View Profile Posts: 1123
    Rank: 9
    Joined:  3/13/2007
    Location:  My Cubicle, CO
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:51:07 PM
    "Local Arby's reporting record numbers since unveiling the new deep fried roast beef sandwich"

    "Spartansburg voted least healthy city in country"

    "Local Janitor caught masterbating to pictures of Tool lead
    singer"
    Arrogant Bastahhd Igick does it again () Post #: 25
    View Profile Posts: 1271
    Rank: 13
    Joined:  2/22/2007
    Location:  miami, FL
    Posted: 9/11/2007 12:52:53 PM
    I think rampint just made your all time list.


    New game: nickname for chrissie's vibrator:
    (with odds, cuz that makes it more fun)

    5-1 the juggernaut
    50-1 DC
    2-1 - Jefferson II
    1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9  Next Page >


    Visit these friends of
    The Phamily for more laughs...

    Oscar Shitley’s

    Modest Proposal

    The Phat Phree on MySpace

    Gorilla Mask

    Tucker Max

    Maddox

    College Humor

    Fark

    Crave Online

    Modern Drunkard

    WWTDD?

    Phamily Business Sites: The Phat Phree | Oscar Shitley's | Look At My Striped Shirt | Phamily Business Entertainment
    Wanna Get Involved? Advertise With Us Found a Bug? Contact Us SwearTracker 3000
    Become a Member
    Apply to be a Writer
    Link to Us
    The Phat Phree is a proud member of the Crave Online Advertising network.
    For information, click here.
    Report a Bug
    Report Copyright Violation
    Contact the Editoral Staff
    Contact Phamily Business
    The Phat Phree is now proudly serving 151 instances of the term: Cocksucker.