Posts: 82 Rank: 48
Member Since:
10/21/2005
Location:
Okinawa, Japan
Posted: 8/28/2005
Ret. Marine Gunnery Sergeant Joaquim Harold 'Napalm' Jones
I was deep in the jungles of Cambodia on a recon mission last week with my partner Lt. Smith when my MM4 Iridium Sat Phone rang. It was Chad Zumock, one of the Phat Phree editors, wanting to harass me about some bullshit.
I started telling him war stories, which usually gets him off the phone damn quick, but in the middle of my story about a glorious nighttime battle I fought in at Khe Sahn, that slack-jawed boot-licker asked me if I could kidnap Jessica Simpson for him.
Just wanted to let everyone know I was the first person to jerk-off to this list!
Thanks Napalm, I just blew a load all over my key pad.
Marc
Ummmm
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Posted: 8/29/2005 9:43:46 AM
Titties!!! ok back to sleep for me...
Dave Amiott
Andy Sidaris!
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Posted: 8/29/2005 10:45:08 AM
Great to see a "Savage Beach" reference in there. Too bad the Andy Sidaris library isn't considered Hollywood, or they would have dominated this list. I could watch Shae Marks blow stuff up with remote controlled cars all night.
STEVE
I LOVE TITS
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Posted: 8/29/2005 12:20:24 PM
You didn't include Revenge of the Nerds on this motherfucker? I've been crankin it to that movie since my cock could only shoot air and dust. Can't wait for your next countdown- 101 Hottest Male Asses On-Screen.
Napalm
Brattattatat!
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Posted: 8/29/2005 12:29:29 PM
Amiott - One day I will do a full blown piece on Andy Sidaris and his two sons who have now taken over his Texas tittie movie making family business. He is one of my all time idols of film making. His my John Waters, Spielberg, Ed Wood and John Ford all rolled into one. Thanks for catching the reference!
Dan The Man - Look for my line of Napalm Jones screen cleaner in spring, especially designed to get crusty jizz off of computer monitors.
sigh
im at work and i cant stop laughing...
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Posted: 8/29/2005 3:17:06 PM
cause i read this:
Juliette Lewis, former President of the Itty Bitty Tittie Committee, shows us how she got elected. I tried to toss one off as she stripped and oiled up her twelve-year old boy's body. It was like trying to jerk off to Dudley with his shirt off in that child-molester episode of "Diff'rent Strokes", so I pressed stop, grabbed my trusty copy of Savage Beach and did some diff'rent stroking of my own.
good as ever napalm!!!!!!!!!!!
sigh
hey napalm
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Posted: 8/29/2005 3:33:02 PM
get me a pic of mia kirschner if you can......no showtime = no pic......
heather graham has the best tits in hollywood..hands down!!!!
Napalm
...you can't refuse
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Posted: 8/29/2005 6:47:01 PM
sigh - Because of your patriotic zeal for all things related to the breast, I will grant you this one favor, even though I typically try to avoid giving to much publicity to anyone from the no so great white north. Just know now that at some point you may be called upon by myself, Smitty or Johnny Gunkisser to do us a favor. You will be responsible for completeing that task in a timely fashion or you may risk serious imparement of your faculties, if you know what I'm saying. So enjoy this pic of Mia Kirshner that we didn't run in the article. If anyone else asks for a pic, I will break their patella into four equal pieces with my teeth.
K.W.
fuckin cool
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Posted: 8/29/2005 9:03:18 PM
This is the kinda shit anyone can read. Its even informative. Thanks Napalm. Why the fuck didnt you ask me for help tho? I gotta .22 long gun sittin here. You could'a shot your boy with it instead of that 137. Easier to clean up anyway.
sigh
napalm
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Posted: 8/29/2005 9:34:27 PM
many thanks.....
you let me know when and where, and ill come glock in hand.....
holla
Gordon Gekko
Erica Eleniak
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Posted: 8/30/2005 10:07:39 AM
Maybe it's because I was 12 yrs old when I first saw Erica Eleniak's gigantic tits pop out of a birthday cake in Under Siege, but I'd have to put that right up there along with Math and Science as a large part of my elementary/middle school school education.
Mortimer Duke
Eleniak
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Posted: 8/30/2005 11:03:10 AM
GG, she also popped her top in Chasers, which my parents mistakenly let me see in theaters at thirteen. Horrifying moment for them; top 20 all time moment for me.
Gordon Gekko
Good Call
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Posted: 8/30/2005 11:53:53 AM
I forgot about Chasers.
Carnegie Hall
Hey!
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Posted: 8/30/2005 1:22:10 PM
What about Laura Dern in Wild At Heart. She might not be the hottest, but out of 101 I'm sure she was better than some of these. But this is still a pretty awesome list!
Sweet Jesus
Cleveland?!?
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Posted: 8/30/2005 2:59:19 PM
FYI, Katie Holmes is not from Cleveland. Do your homework bro. If she were from Cleveland, Tom Cruise would be sitting in the DogPound on Sundays.
Friends Of Katie
Idiot!
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Posted: 8/30/2005 3:29:45 PM
So, people from Toledo don't like the Browns? You obviously have never driven through the sea of orange and brown in Toledo on a sunday. Katie's first modeling school and acting classes were in Cleveland before she went to New York for a brief period of time and then finally moved to LA and landed the part in the Ice Storm. So Toledo isn't exactly Cleveland, but it is damn close and she is by the way, is a Browns fan like most people from Northern Ohio, Cruise is only a fan of himself. Sweet Jesus, you should do your fucking homework before you start trying to call people out, bitch! Halle Berry is also not from Cleveland, but a place called Bedford. Sean Young wasn't born in Cleveland but was raised there and went to Cleveland Heights High School. These are all suburbs in the Cleveland area! Being from Cleveland I have to strongly disagree that Cleveland girls are psycho. Maybe a little manic, but not psycho. They are all really hot though!
MrC
Tits rule.
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Posted: 8/30/2005 4:11:53 PM
On Holmes' Tits, I gotta go with the line from Harold and Kumar: "Remember the Holocaust? Picture the exact opposite."
I'm still pissed at Michael Bay for talking Scarlett Johannson OUT of a nude scene in The Island. See what happens? Deny the public boobs, and your movie tanks.
Also, Toledo fans are really about 50% Browns, 30% Steelers, 20% Lions. It's really weird.
Gordon Gekko
Toledo
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Posted: 8/30/2005 4:36:32 PM
The AIDS capital of the Northern Hemisphere.
James
Demni Moore
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Posted: 9/1/2005 2:06:53 PM
Your telling me the s-scene in Disclosure was nothing short of greatness..
MKF
Finger-lickin' good
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Posted: 9/1/2005 4:56:06 PM
Another movie that probably could have deserved a mention due to sheer quantity of perky titties is "The Kentucky Fried Movie".... as far as I recall there were no big stars involved, but nonethless there are massive amounts of fine-looking taters (at least to my -- at the time -- virgin eyes). Plus there are no shots of Harvey's Keitel, which a plus.
Pedro
Cat People & The Swimming Pool
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Posted: 9/6/2005 10:19:36 PM
What about Natasha Kinski's sweet muff in Cat People. I was blowing dust by the end of that movie. And what about The Swimming Pool. I almost pulled out my night stick and beat it right in the theater. That French chick is oh so yummy.
lacey
un-fucking-faithful
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Posted: 9/6/2005 10:37:11 PM
how could you forget diane lane getting the shit pounded out of her a half dozen times in unfaithful? yeah, her tits aren't great, but the sex scenes are some of the hottest non-porn scenes i've seen in the theater. who can ever forget the french dude bending her over the railing in the hallway of his apartment and telling her to beg for it. this always make me wet.
another good one... y tu mama tambien. somewhat juvenile, but the raw sex and lack of any tinge of guilt make it a good show.
janet
Great
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Posted: 9/8/2005 12:01:09 AM
I get to read another article about sex and swear words on the phat phree. Can you please get back to writing more high brow stuff that doesn't rely on sex and swear words as the punchline?
Najah
Swing and a Miss
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Posted: 9/8/2005 5:57:53 PM
Wow..... a couple of ommissions.
First and foremost, Teri Hatcher in the Cool Surface. Couple shots of one of the top racks of all time - before she went anorexic for a couple years.
I liked Penelope Cruz's ta-ta's in the "Open your Eyes" original Spanish release.
Would have gone with Diane Lane in Knight Moves or The Big Town.
Rosario Dawson's rack is too amazing to ommit. Gotta put He Got Game or Alexander in there.
Leon
i'm a perv too
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Posted: 9/13/2005 11:16:04 PM
I gotta nominate Kelly McDonald in "Trainspotting" as well. She looks so sweet in that little dress and then she rips it off to reveal no undergarments. 5 stars!
Posts: 
sigh - Because of your patriotic zeal for all things related to the breast, I will grant you this one favor, even though I typically try to avoid giving to much publicity to anyone from the no so great white north. Just know now that at some point you may be called upon by myself, Smitty or Johnny Gunkisser to do us a favor. You will be responsible for completeing that task in a timely fashion or you may risk serious imparement of your faculties, if you know what I'm saying. So enjoy this pic of Mia Kirshner that we didn't run in the article. If anyone else asks for a pic, I will break their patella into four equal pieces with my teeth.
