Transcript selection from the recent U.S. House Committee on Government Reform hearings on Voodoo in Major League Baseball.
Rep. Waxman (D-Calif.): "Please state your name for the record."
Mr. Cerrano: "Me llamo Pedro Cerrano."
Rep. Tom Davis (R-Va.): "Mr. Cerrano, this committee would prefer if you spoke English during this hearing.."
Mr. Cerrano: "Yes sir."
Rep. Davis: "Now Mr. Cerrano, we have testimony from multiple players, many from your own organization, who have said that on numerous occasions during Cleveland's 1989 playoff run yourself and other teammates routinely practiced Voodoo both in the clubhouse and sometimes during games. Is this correct?"
Rep. Waxman: "Mr. Cerrano?"
Mr. Cerrano: "Yes sir."
Rep. Davis: "We have also heard from a Mr. Mays-Hayes that the practice of Voodoo or Cuban Santeria included, but was not limited to, the ritualistic pre-game slaughter of animals such as chickens. Is this indeed true sir?"
Mr. Cerrano: "No it is not. Mr. Mays-Hayes never brought a live bird into the clubhouse. The bird was already cooked and dead before anyone came in contact with it."
Rep. Waxman: "I remind you that you are under oath sir."
Mr. Cerrano: "I am quite aware of that, Mr. Representative."
Rep. Waxman: "Let's talk about a Mr. Jawbow."
Mr. Cerrano: "It is pronounced 'Jo-Boo.'"
Rep. Waxman: "Ok, 'Jo-Boo.' Now, we've learned from pitching coach Pepper Leach that this Mr. 'Jo-Boo' was some sort of a pagan deity that many members of your Cleveland teammates followed to a level that comes close to worship. Also, that manager Lou Brown was aware of this and turned a blind eye. How do you respond to this?"
Mr. Cerrano: "Personally, I have no allegiance to Jo-Boo. I was good to him for many years, and he failed me on numerous occasions. We maintain no contact whatsoever. And maybe Lou knew what was going on. I have no idea."
Rep. Davis: "Can you comment on any relationship between Jo-Boo and a Mr. Eddie Harris?"
Mr. Cerrano: "What Eddie does in his spare time is none of my business."
Rep. Davis: "Yet we learned from Mr. Harris that it was you who introduced him to Jo-Boo. That it was you who brought Voodoo into the clubhouse. That without your influence, the whole issue of Voodoo in Major League Baseball would not even exist."
Mr. Cerrano: "Look, we were just giving the fans what they wanted. They came to the park for the homeruns, for the stolen bases. Voodoo gave us the competitive edge to steal 100 bases, the throw a ball 102mph, to hit 700 foot homeruns. You think Jake Taylor could have played for as long as he did without Santeria?"
Rep. Waxman: "Mr. Cerrano, thank you for your time. I want you to think long and hard though about the consequences your alleged actions have wrought. Voodoo is now more commonplace in college and high school athletics due to the example that you and many of your teammates have set. I hope you take that to heart."
Mr. Cerrano: "Chinga te cavron."
Rep. Davis: "Excuse me sir?"
Mr. Cerrano: "I said, 'Thank you both very much for you time.'"
Rep. Davis: "Oh. Thank you."
Rep. Waxman: "Alright, let's see here...Mr. Vaughn, please state your full name."
Come on man! Posted: 4/8/2005by: Z-man oh know you didn't you S.O.B.
I'll get you back on the golf course for that one, Jus. (I just hope you bring your short game this time) -and yes I did just go there! SNAP!
I actually read this article today and it was funny like I thought it was going to be. Hilarious Posted: 4/8/2005by: Martone Between this and 2Fast 2Furious, you're on a roll. Keep it coming, Adam. PBRMEASAP Posted: 4/8/2005by: Jus Forgive the Z-man. He is attempting to absorb comedy through osmosis these days. Sorry to hear about your girlfriend, dude, but I told her not to leave her panties in my room. Ha Posted: 4/8/2005by: Z-man i didn't even read this, but I like it already. I really did just skim down the page and laughed at the photos. Forgive me, I'm really, really drunk right now. I've been thinking of my ex-girlfriend all night.
This seems funny. I plan on reading it in the morning.
