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Please be a two minute song... Please be a two minute song....Please be a...
It's Karaoke Night! You're there, you're friends are there, and Rick Falcon and Jim Fath are front row every god damn night. We're old pros at the Karaoke process as we refer to it as. We thought we might take you through some of our favorite Karaoke personalities and also let you know that at one time or an other both of us have represented the list in it's entirety. See if you can guess who was who of these Ultimate 11 Karaoke Junkies.
The Overly Passionate Versus The Virtual Robot When lighting up the Karaoke stage the question "What should my body be doing while I'm up there" is often pondered. The truth is that it doesn't matter. No one gives a shit. You could very well whip out your dick and piss on the Golden Tee machine right off the front of the stage and no one would bat an eye.
For some reason though there are still people that feel the need to either dance, jump, or flail around on stage with as much enthusiasm as the electrified dogs in Michael Vick's basement. Contrasted with them are the petrified folks who are either too terrified to or too disinterested to move at all. It's as if they are reading.
The Duet Couple: We know all the songs that couples sing together on Karaoke night... all... 6 of them and they all suck. Our point is this, if more than half of all marriages end in divorce what chance do you guys have. So reflecting on that why don't you two just sit back down and spare us your rendition of the Grease Medley?
Dude Who Is Trying to Get Laid By Singing Karaoke Think of the cheesiest pick up line you've ever heard or used. Compared to the guy that tries to get laid by singing karaoke those pick up lines might as well be rufies. Has anyone EVER gotten laid by singing karaoke? Please let us know.
The Scream Rock Douchebag If only the girls at the athletic apparel store where you work could see you belt out that "Drowning Pool" song. Well they could see you if they actually showed up for once instead of blowing off your invite the past 7 times but it matters not. You own this song Scream Rock Douchebag. It takes a special kind of man to stand up on stage and annoy every bar patron including the softball team! Those guys are the biggest pack of assholes in this place. And to think all you had to do was scream incoherently for several minutes causing minor damage to your windpipe, larynx, and vocal cords. SO worth it!
Posts: 1542 Rank: 6 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 8/30/2007 10:08:30 AM
My favorite line of the whole thing. Although the best moment was during the screaming chicks clip when there was a quick cut-away shot to the guy in te Jack Daniels shirt. His look was priceless.
Karaoke faves: "Careless Whisper" by George Michael "My Way" by Frank Sinatra
Was Christine in any of those videos? Please tell me she was.
Posts: 1166 Rank: 9 Joined:
3/13/2007
Location:
My Cubicle, CO
Posted: 8/30/2007 10:09:48 AM
Nice job everyone, its scary how true this is. Props to the Queensryche shout out. For any of you guys who play guitar, learn Silent Lucidity and play it for girls, trust me. Just ask the 5 screaching drunk chicks I had a sixsome with.
I'm thinking yes, because I can't get any of these to play. They act like they're going to play then just end and say replay?
Stiggs - Ricks was funny and I love cheap booze, but I must ask why you didn't mention the Riv - that's a great dive bar. The B-dubs girls took me out on Sunday and we tore that place up.
Fath's ultimate eleven is the best series on the site. Well done again.
Assignment: Tell someone while out tonight your name is Rick Falcon.
"The professional" is very sad, but I once saw an entire softball team sing "We Are The Champions" together after winning their league title. It would have even made Dick Butkus, Earl Campbell, Charles Bronson, and BigNick cry.
"Each time we leave we both agree this is the last time. But when I'm out of your arms, I'm out of my mind."
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