Use the form at the right to log in for more options.
Nick Cage This week a guy who has earned his beating many times over is making headlines. Rumor is Nicholas Coppola (AKA Nicolas Cage AKA Oh, No. Not Nick Cage.) will play the lead role in an upcoming remake of another '80s television show: Magnum P.I.!
Has there ever been a more inappropriate casting choice? I remember hearing that Nick Cage wanted to play Superman, and I thought that was a bad idea. But this is a thousand times worse. Magnum P.I. is one of the coolest, most manly characters of all time. I'd put him right up there with Han Solo and John McClain. He can't be played by Nick Cage. We're talking about character that was originally played by Tom Fucking Selleck! Tom Selleck's mustache has more screen presence than Nick Cage. In fact, I've only seen Cage wear a mustache one time, and it couldn't hold Selleck's mustache's comb.
Look at the difference here:
I can't look at that photo of Selleck for very long. That is a pretty man. With a few drinks, he seriously might be able to talk me into be gay. Then there's Cage with those hair plugs, the fake teeth, that weak chin. Come on. Magnum is a former Navy SEAL who saw action in Vietnam. Would anyone believe that Nick Cage was a Navy SEAL?
Are they going to recast Magnum's Ferarri 308 with a bicycle? Maybe he should trade in the Tigers hat for a Detroit Sparks headband. Maybe they should move the show from Hawaii to St. Louis. Unbelievable.
The last time I heard about this movie, it was going to be George Clooney as Magnum and Ricky Gervais as Higgins. That's not terrible, but I think we can do better. Who would you cast?
Posts: 300 Rank: 25 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
East Lansing, MI
Posted: 9/6/2007 11:00:10 AM
Much like this one girl's libido I knew. Dumb skank only gave me a handy after she was done. I should have B.Nicked her and skull fucked her eyes out and bury her by the overpass.
What was the crappy movie he made not to long ago, where he had "spider sense" and was boning that chick from Stealth (her name escapes me)? His hair in that trailer was hilarious. It was like a comb-over feathered straight up.
Why not cast Tom Selleck in his role? He's better than that Hallmark channel baloney he's been doing lately.
Why not just cast Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan, oh wait never mind...
I cannot believe they made this casting choice did someone lose a bet? Does Cage have photos of some studio exec in a Thai elementary school locker room? What gives?
There is no better choice than Seleck for this role who cares about his age. Harrison Ford is playing Indianna Jones again and he is 90 years old.
Posts: 2923 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 9/6/2007 11:18:46 AM
Is everything ok? You wanna talk about anything? Not planning on closing down the place are you? Happy possible belated birthday too.
I would fuck Tom Selleck until my legs fell off and I died of starvation. Nicholas cage? not so much. HIs nose is weird and he's way to scrawny to play someone named Magnum.
Stiggs, You are on fire today. But she gave you the handy after she was done what? I didn't get that part.
Posts: 802 Rank: 17 Joined:
6/20/2007
Location:
Norristown, PA
Posted: 9/6/2007 11:34:22 AM
I think I called Christine last night, because a few nurses that love midget porn were coming over after we watched Superbad, but I couldn't exactly invite her.
Posts: 2923 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 9/6/2007 11:45:50 AM
Yeah, you called. I couldn't pick up though. I could barely here your message, but I did here the midget porn part. I had no idea what you were asking, but then I heard you say, "but you're still real horny so I can't invite you". jesus, I'm not a rapist.
Posts: 1265 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
TPP Island, NY
Posted: 9/6/2007 11:57:57 AM
Is Tom Selleck so old that he couldn't play the role now? If yes then fuck it, make it Densel Washinton and call it affermative action.
Stiggs you got a little redundent there. I believe that BigNicking a chick includes all of the above: Skull Fucking Buring by the overpass. Killing is optional, she'll bleed out or run out of O2 eventually
Use the form at the right to log in for more options.
