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Napalm Jones SCG: Thank God, Dumbledore is Dead! Original Post
View Profile Posts: 80
Rank: 35
Member Since:  10/21/2005
Location:  Canoga Park, CA
Posted: 7/27/2007

"No your honor I only commandeered the car so that the black kid could chase my friends down at 100 MPH. How could I have known she was calling 911 because she thought I was gonna OJ her in that white GMC. And in retrospect, maybe I should have gone to Reno instead of Vegas when I got out of rehab, but at least I didn't drive the wrong way down the 134 like Nicole, or shave my head to show off the sausage rolls on my neck like Brit. I mean seriously your honor; Brandy like even totally killed... Read Full Story
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  • Belding + Wellity () Post #: 1
    View Profile Posts: 40
    Rank: 44
    Joined:  7/13/2007
    Location:  T-ston, CT
    Posted: 7/27/2007 5:26:35 AM
    I recieved a nice erection about 2/3rds of the way through "Bratz"...now that I am thinking about it, I recieved a nice erection about 2/3rds of the way through "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows".

    1. Cancel themselves.
    2. "You say semen dries like cement, eh?"
    3. Stink breath or stink ass.
    Judas Sir, Yes Sir. () Post #: 2
    View Profile Posts: 82
    Rank: 79
    Joined:  7/16/2007
    Location:  Hell, KY
    Posted: 7/27/2007 7:59:36 AM
    Can't wait till they make a parady of all the potter movies, "Harold Pothead".
    I would love to see Milhouse nail Lisa. That would be the end of the simpsons.
    They've never been happier than since Nick meat Antony.
    Glam hair. Flock of seagulls anyone?
    Muenster tossin grenades () Post #: 3
    View Profile Posts: 197
    Rank: 39
    Joined:  3/6/2007
    Location:  Haunted House, NC
    Posted: 7/27/2007 8:21:11 AM
    1) Sideshow Bob beats Bart to death with his skateboard

    2) Spartans shower

    3) Talking
    Mako Napalms () Post #: 4
    View Profile Posts: 453
    Rank: 28
    Joined:  4/23/2007
    Location:  Jackson, MI
    Posted: 7/27/2007 8:23:24 AM
    1. I would like to see one of Marge's ugly sisters choke to death on Grandpa Simpson's cock. I hate those bitches, and Granpa Simpson cracks me up and deserves some action.

    2. Where the fuck did you get the photographic evidence of me and my uncle????!!!!! Do you have any more?

    3. Biggest Turn offs:
    a. having to beg for sex.
    b. having to pay for sex.
    c. having to use a knife for sex.
    Spartan As always, nice job Napalm () Post #: 5
    View Profile Posts: 2115
    Rank: 5
    Joined:  2/27/2007
    Location:  Ventura, CA
    Posted: 7/27/2007 9:08:08 AM
    1) I would like to see a shower scene with Marge and the Duff Beer guy.

    2) "Spartan?" "Yes Nick?" "Would you wash my back for me?" "Sure Nicky-poo."

    3) Nose hair and bad teeth.
    antony well, well, well... () Post #: 6
    View Profile Posts: 1375
    Rank: 10
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  savannah, GA
    Posted: 7/27/2007 9:14:11 AM
    1. i'd like to marge, bart's teacher, and mr. burns in a hardcore s&m 3-way. it'd be just like that move 8mm except this time joaquin phoenix would live and apex twin would be playing during the entire movie.

    2. after a long-haul dealing with a blueblood wife, raising kids, putting them through college, and finally losing his mistress to chrone's disease and lung cancer, another wisconsinite father has decided to let his hair down and just "be one of the boi's".

    i'm looking directly at you evil fwank.

    3.
    a. insolence
    b. insubordination in the bedroom, or on the street
    c. not being able to swallow a shot of evan williams and tapioca pudding with her asshole is a definet deal-breaker
    Judas Are you watching me right now? () Post #: 7
    View Profile Posts: 82
    Rank: 79
    Joined:  7/16/2007
    Location:  Hell, KY
    Posted: 7/27/2007 9:20:40 AM
    Cause if you are you'd see:
    /" |\./|
    | |
    | |
    | ~|
    | |
    /'\| |/'\..
    /~\| | | | | =[@]= | | | | | | | | ~ ~ ~ ~ |` )
    | /
    \ /
    \ /
    \ _____ /
    |--//''`\--|
    | (( +==)) |
    |--\_|_//--|
    Judas Fuck, It's the finger!! () Post #: 8
    View Profile Posts: 82
    Rank: 79
    Joined:  7/16/2007
    Location:  Hell, KY
    Posted: 7/27/2007 9:25:16 AM


    ( . )
    .
    .
    .
    BigDaddyDJ Nice artticle () Post #: 9
    View Profile Posts: 51
    Rank: 2127
    Joined:  6/12/2007
    Location:  frederick, MD
    Posted: 7/27/2007 9:33:43 AM
    1. I want to see Flanders walk in as Homer is railing Marge, Flanders just joins. Hidy-Ho this you Blue Haired Bitch.

    2. Pic Caption " Dude really, I rub yours if you rub mine."

    3. Biggest turn offs - I hate a bitch with more guys friends than me. You know she is fucking half of them.

    Shit Sandwich Mine () Post #: 10
    View Profile Posts: 831
    Rank: 11
    Joined:  12/14/2006
    Location:  Washington, DC
    Posted: 7/27/2007 9:45:17 AM
    1. Nipple hair
    2. Poorly manicured greens
    3. Shallow gag reflex
    .
    .
    .
    4. Ability to talk
    Jizzface Bandit snatch is back () Post #: 11
    View Profile Posts: 65
    Rank: 100
    Joined:  7/12/2007
    Location:  Buffalo, NY
    Posted: 7/27/2007 9:55:02 AM
    by popular demand

    1. Duff man is discovered railing Mr. Smythers' asshole, to which he replies "Duff man....packin the fudge....OH YA!"

    2. "wow, that is the ugliest penis i've ever laid eyes on, and that's saying something"

    3.rheumatoid arthritis
    Shit Sandwich Bandit () Post #: 12
    View Profile Posts: 831
    Rank: 11
    Joined:  12/14/2006
    Location:  Washington, DC
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:07:08 AM
    That is singularly the worst and greatest avatar of all time.
    TM ?'s () Post #: 13
    View Profile Posts: 1166
    Rank: 9
    Joined:  3/13/2007
    Location:  My Cubicle, CO
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:08:20 AM
    1) Mole Man nail Mrs Krabaple. Its time he got a little play, I mean he is only 31, he just had a serious drinking problem in his past.

    2) "HA, and that silly boy at the sex store said we could never make this double ended dildo work"

    3) Talking or texting on their cell phone during the date, ESPECIALLY at dinner. Also I never want to hear about a girls ex boyfriend EVER.
    Balls I love the smell of Napalm in the morning. () Post #: 14
    View Profile Posts: 1542
    Rank: 6
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  New York, NY
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:16:38 AM
    1. Homer and Barney take on Lenny and Carl in an epic best of 7 beer pong tournament.

    Marge let her hair down and gets it on with Mrs. Krabbopple.

    Bart takes over the country a la "The Last Emperor."

    2. "What people don't know is that we're both getting blow jobs right now, so there's nothing gay about this picture. Yep, nothing gay at all..."

    3. Country music
    knuckleface jones Dear Mr. Bandit, () Post #: 15
    View Profile Posts: 69
    Rank: 30
    Joined:  4/9/2007
    Location:  hardeeville, SC
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:19:56 AM
    I find your display to be nothing more than an attention getting measure, put forth with such vulgarity, such haughtiness, such rogue disdain for purity and goodness, that I cannot, CANNOT sit by and not smite the down from thy perch of depravity! How dare thee!? Your current avatar picture is the very definition of poor hygiene! A woman's nether region belongs in her pants or in a lounge act and NOT smothering a public water-fountain!!!!!!! PEOPLE DRINK FROM THERE!!!! For SHAME, SIR, FOR SHAME!
    Christine Palmriffic () Post #: 16
    View Profile Posts: 2923
    Rank: 1
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Philadelphia, PA
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:20:18 AM
    Awesome Napalm. Do you Deuce is gone??? Can't you get a small recon group together to find him??? He loved you almost as much as me.

    A few days ago I said, "no celebrities really turn me on". I was wrong. Jason Statham is fucking hot and I'd suck the chrome off his caddy if you know what I mean.

    Not that I would know or anything, but the Bratz dolls come with some really fun mix and match fashions. and their hair is really fun to style.

    1. I would like to see 20 straight minutes of Moe's face. He doesn't even have to talk. Just a close up of his face and I am guaranteed to laugh for 20 minutes.

    2. Surprisingly, spartan stole my answer.

    3. Your friend Shrapnel should have dick whipped that bitch in the face. You should never make fun of someone's car. I would have been delighted to go out inthe pacer.

    Dealbreaker: bragging about money and possessions. staring at my tits instead of me, chewing with your mouth open, saying you like grey's anatomy.
    vertigo Strong () Post #: 17
    View Profile Posts: 1318
    Rank: 4
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  dallas, TX
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:21:03 AM
    Napalm is a killer, the Bobby Thigpen of TPP, coming in to close the week. Best line? "Brandy even totally killed people with her car."

    1. Mr. Burns, Homer, Moe, Nelson, Chief Wiggum, and Krusty go take down Bin Laden-along the way Burns buys the presidency for 08.

    2. The University of Oklahoma is definitely looking at a rebuilding season this fall.

    3. Biggest turnoff? If they're not fuckable.

    "Don't ask me no questions, and I won't tell you no lies."


    Spartan Caption conversation () Post #: 18
    View Profile Posts: 2115
    Rank: 5
    Joined:  2/27/2007
    Location:  Ventura, CA
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:24:26 AM
    "Oh Michael."
    "Yes Philip?"
    "Does it tickle when I do....this?!"
    "Hehehehe, yes!! Stop! Hehehehehe!!!"
    pooholes Naplams () Post #: 19
    View Profile Posts: 420
    Rank: 50
    Joined:  4/9/2007
    Location:  Littleton-ish, CO
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:34:58 AM
    5 out of 5 adolescent dorks masturbating feverishly over the release of a new book falling down stairs.

    "freckly vertical fur frown". Fuck, that made my day.

    1. Millhouse finally snaps and pulls a BigNick on Lisa.

    2.....

    3. - No pulse.
    - Any chick that says right before sex, "Go grab the huge black one from the drawer."
    - A and B cups
    - Cock
    Judas Nude Dungeons and Dragons at Sparts () Post #: 20
    View Profile Posts: 82
    Rank: 79
    Joined:  7/16/2007
    Location:  Hell, KY
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:38:09 AM
    You rolled a 1 on your will save, you are mine now..
    Chester Tang Me Gusta () Post #: 21
    View Profile Posts: 277
    Rank: 26
    Joined:  5/31/2007
    Location:  Gilbert, AZ
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:38:56 AM
    I really enjoy every other Friday morning.

    1. I want to see a full episode of Bumblebee Man written in the most elementary Spanish.

    2. "Hey buddy, take off the sweater. Its a fucking sauna"

    3. If a woman chews with her mouth open, I will have nothing to do with her. The difference between you and a majority of other animals is that you were born with lips (a couple pair actually). Combine that with the ability to draw air through an alteranate source - and I do not have to hear you mash and salivate your food.
    Christine Caption () Post #: 22
    View Profile Posts: 2923
    Rank: 1
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Philadelphia, PA
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:45:59 AM
    "So the mechanic says, "how else do you think I rang the doorbell??!!!!"
    vertigo Caption () Post #: 23
    View Profile Posts: 1318
    Rank: 4
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  dallas, TX
    Posted: 7/27/2007 10:55:05 AM
    Inside the actors studio with Ryan O'Neal took a dramatic turn at the 35 minute mark.

    "I love LA"
    Chester Tang Vertigo () Post #: 24
    View Profile Posts: 277
    Rank: 26
    Joined:  5/31/2007
    Location:  Gilbert, AZ
    Posted: 7/27/2007 11:05:44 AM
    Ring the fucking bell!!! No one's coming up with a better caption than the Ryan O'Neill one.

    "Yeah James - there was a time that I could spear any piece of trim that I wanted."
    Christine Pic 2 () Post #: 25
    View Profile Posts: 2923
    Rank: 1
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Philadelphia, PA
    Posted: 7/27/2007 11:07:46 AM
    Laughter ensues after Pooholes shows the "goods".






    "don't dont you want, I know not just to say that it was only an attraction. don't you want me baby? don't you want me ohhhhhh hooooo?"
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