Posts: 2 Rank: 191
Member Since:
10/23/2005
Location:
Sandusky, OH
Posted: 9/17/2007
Twas an era of women that carried themselves properly.
INTRODUCTION
I'll be quite honest; a lot of things tend to piss me off. If I were a complete douchebag, with an aspiration for needlessly wasting time and money, I'd probably go to anger management classes.
Making my blood boil this minute are certain members of the baby boomer generation (as well as some folks who are even a little older). It's not because of their driving or their rapid devouring of social security monies. It's because I was recently treated to my 464th "state of the w...
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Posts: 2906 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 9/18/2007 10:34:10 AM
Whilst this was an extremely excellent article, I feel confused.
1st, I'm ecstatic that you requested me to be your myspace friend. This humbles me and makes me what to touch myself all over. Thank you. I am pleased to be one of your 92 friends and I have been thinking of the perfect comment to leave you all morning.
2nd, you're Juan! you're the greatest writer in the world. George Orwell is a gargantuan pussy next to you. Everything you write is AU.
However, Deuce just recently confessed to an awful run in with decrepid elders. He (mistakenly) is also married. and you both are hyterically funny. I often thought that perhaps you were a regular, but I don't know how I would feel if you were Deuce.
please confirm or discomfirm my assumption at your earliest convenience.
That i'm on board with Christine's train of thought. Although not with the part about wanting to play the juan-fiddle...or anything else about her not-so-secret desire to build a giant statue to juan-t and sleep beneath it's legs only to wake up each morning to your enormous statue cock.
Rather, i'm on board with the Duece to Juan-T connection.
I've decided, however, that i prefer the serene ineptitude of my imaginary world and refuse to draw any further connection and thus have to (in my mind's eye) kill off yet another tpp character. So i plead with Christine...don't stir the pot; except the genius of the writing and continue to flick bean to the monumental greatness that is Juan-T.
In other news... Great letter. i'm printing one out and sending it to my father right now.
like you pulled some punches and came up a little short (that's what she said). Seriously though, when you're going to go on a tangent caused by people this stupid, annoying and utterly useless, just fucking go for it. Were you late for something and needed to finish this article in under 8 minutes?
Commentors: let's take it on ourselves to finish this off. I have a couple things to attend to quickly and I'll be back to lob flaming balls of hate and rage at anyone over 60.
Posts: 797 Rank: 17 Joined:
6/20/2007
Location:
Norristown, PA
Posted: 9/18/2007 10:50:29 AM
I'm tired of hearing about the good old days and being talked to like I'm a piece of shit. Oh it was all better in the good old days? Well you raised the kids that fucked the world up. Then you fucked the budget up, which is why even is not making eye contact with us when we talk about collecting Social Security. And you wore lots of polyesther. And you made your wifes wear bras that looked like ice cream cones. How the fuck is that sexy? Has anyone ever looked at the female breast and wished it looked like a fucking road pylon?
Posts: 448 Rank: 19 Joined:
8/5/2007
Location:
La Crosse, WI
Posted: 9/18/2007 10:52:35 AM
Was my nickname in High school.
I think we should section off Florida for old people. Build robots to take care of them. And have a cut off of 80 years of age. Unless..
They can create artificial world generators IE the matrix. Can you imagine being 65, and sitting in some chair designed to remove and replenish your body to keep it going all the while you bang hookers in Grand theft Auto 45 - More hookers than a AB party. Or you could be playing your withered failing heart out in Maddan Bowl movement 30000!! I'm all up for that.
Vert can we get a grant for some sceintists and Programmers to start working on that?
I have a Dream, and it is to play Tetris untill I'm 102!
I do not water plants. That is Maria. She is sorry, but at 78 she can no longer tell the difference between the colors. Perhaps she can make up for it with a little extra spit and polish on your shoes, ah senor?
I cannot believe the disrespect you Americans have for your elders. In my contry we did what we were told, and did not talk back to them. Just like now when Senorita tells us to lick her ass, we do so, and are please for the chance to.
Posts: 797 Rank: 17 Joined:
6/20/2007
Location:
Norristown, PA
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:05:30 AM
They did stuff that everyone knows will get you sick/hurt, like smoking a pipe, except they didn't know they would get sick. You didn't know you would get lung cancer from smoking a pipe? Look what the tobacco did to the pipe! Now figure it out! Oh you worked with asbestos all day and you didn't wear a mask? When you were coughing up what looked like cabbage every night that was your body's way of saying 'get me the fuck out of here.'
And they made people famous even though they didn't do anything for years at a time, like Elizabeth Taylor and Marlon Brando. When is the last time Elizabeth Taylor did anything except for her shitty perfume commercial? Oh White Diamonds brought you luck? You've had ten husbands and brain cancer you old bitch-
Had to go to Wal-Mart (7th realm of hell) the other day. I despise the place and it takes an act of god, or in this case lack of towels, to get me there. Before I even park some "lady" wearing an orange Geo Metro about hits me stealing my parking space. Okay. Get inside and have 8 items for checkout. Go to the express lane and there is this old woman in front of me with her cart literally spilling over. She's all of 80, has hair she's tried to color blonde but it's turned out a lovely shade of Ronald McDonald orange, and toenails painted so bright of a pink it would make a girly 2nd grader cringe. In her overstocked cart she has among other things: 2 HUGE bags of cat food more cotton balls than she will ever use in the rest of her life paint thinner (prob to be used with the cotton balls to get the pink shit off her toes) And my fav... 2 cases of Boone's Farm
Granny likes to drink. Clearly. And quality is no concern to her. I was so caught off guard by the 2 cases I wasn't as pissed off about waiting in line while she pays (slowly) for her 36 items in the 10 item or less lane. Guess she thinks it's age intitlement for her to use that lane....
Posts: 277 Rank: 26 Joined:
5/31/2007
Location:
Gilbert, AZ
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:12:22 AM
How does the classic codger line of "The world is going to hell in a hand basket" not get included here?
I really liked this article because I've had the same argument with random old people - relatives or perfect strangers - many of times. It's not a generational thing - it's the simple fact that ignorance is bliss. We're so overwhelmed with media outlets and websites that every negative story gets blown up 100 fold. Back in the day Dorothy, Arthur, Harriett, and Ester got 1/2 hour world news, 1/2 hour local news, and whatever their crappy local newspaper wrote. Now an love lorn astronaut who takes a roadie and shits their pants gets 24 hour coverage.
The world is constantly getting better. Just think - 40 years ago our government could manipulate the only three TV networks into thinking that a tiny, unknown country's political persuasion/leadership was the "lynchpin" to the United Fucking States of America's survival! We spent thousands of lives and billions of dollars without any real chance of "winning" nor any real media or local opposition for years.
Now with all the media outlets, websites, and informed populous- that will NEVER happen again!
Posts: 21 Rank: 92 Joined:
8/23/2007
Location:
Capital City, WA
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:12:45 AM
When Movies cost a Nickel When Had to walk 5 miles to school uphill. And when school was out the world had rotated so we had to walk uphill to get back home, and it was snowing by then. Now a days you got Prostitutes, I'll tell you who is a prostitute, America is, with all the immigrants and Foreigners. People don't even speak English. NO I don’t' want any chicken and Rice you Gook. I need a steak. But can you cut it up real small for me, I have trouble chewing with my dentures.
Posts: 300 Rank: 25 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
East Lansing, MI
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:13:27 AM
While it's generally agreed that old people need to shut up and watch CBS primetime, what are some things from back in the day (40's, 50's) that they had right?
1. Gregory Peck 2. Blatant Racism sans Repercussions 3. The Stay-At-Home Mom 4. Hand-drawn Cartoons 5. Traveling Freak Shows 6. Unregulated alcohol distribution
Posts: 2906 Rank: 1 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Philadelphia, PA
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:19:03 AM
Smoking in the doctors office. smoking while pregnant drinking while pregnant drinking during work (openly) Butter butter butter Halston Skirts and MaryJanes
My nina Evita Said she was sorry when you checked out, but they could not find the large case of Maxi's you were looking for. And there will be a 3 day wait for the Massingil.
Evita was born here, in a barn, just like your Jesus was. She is a saint. You will eat the cock of a horse today. Your Cook Marthia has already been saving one for just this kind of occation.
Evita also said you took change from the orphan donation box. Sham sham senora..
Posts: 277 Rank: 26 Joined:
5/31/2007
Location:
Gilbert, AZ
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:26:39 AM
Not giving a shit if you wear your seat belt or not
Not giving a shit if you decided to spill hot coffee on your reproductive organs
Not giving a shit if some asshole jumped your fence into your yard and hurt themselves
Not giving a shit that every President before the 42nd one got tons of pussy/blowjobs (Not counting James Buchanan who was an incredible fag - and tossed salads constantly)
Posts: 21 Rank: 92 Joined:
8/23/2007
Location:
Capital City, WA
Posted: 9/18/2007 11:31:30 AM
Slappin a lady on the ass and asking for some sugar? I remember when we could tell a lady they look like they could suck a bolder through a hose. I remember you could buy a dance with a lady for just a Dime. I also remember being able to get a bag of grass for 20 bucks.
