Posts: 4 Rank: 198
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10/24/2005
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Posted: 11/17/2005
Ugh!!!!
Puberty is no picnic. I don’t care who you are. It’s an ordeal and an absolute nightmare when it occurs. You are the most socially vulnerable you will ever be in your life and your body decides that this would be the best time to mutate. Periods and boners, hair and sweat in places even your bar of Dial dares not visit. But just imagine having to go through all of that on TV. I have a certain sympathy for those who were in their most mutant phase of puberty while they were on TV. Sure, they had ...
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- Keisha Knight Pulliam is simply a Nubian queen these days.
- Ben Seaver looks like Dahmer.
- Small omission- that asshole from Married With Children, who was also a HORRIBLE fucking actor.
Nice fucking job, Fath.
Jim
Shit
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Posted: 11/17/2005 2:51:41 AM
I can't believe I forgot Frankie Muniz. I'll add him tomorrow morning.
sd
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Posted: 11/17/2005 3:59:56 AM
this is the first article that i have read here in a while that made me laugh out loud. nice work.
Eric
WOW!
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Posted: 11/17/2005 5:02:16 AM
Rudy Huxtable got pretty hot, but HOLY SHIT did Blossom turn into a LARD ASS or what? WOW!!
j
Website
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Posted: 11/17/2005 6:42:25 AM
Someone needs to turn this article into a website complete with a timeline of photos so we can she the puberty unfold before us. By the way, nothing was better than watching the kids from Home Improvement go through puberty. I remember when I stopped watching it for a year and then watch it again. I thought they recasted it with Boomer Easian playing Brad and Maryiln Manson playing Mark.
deuce
nice work.
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Posted: 11/17/2005 7:09:32 AM
why in the fuck did everyone refer to the home improvement triplets by all three of their fucking names???? you know who else is referred to by all 3 names? serial killers, snipers, etc. lee harvey oswald, john wayne gacy, lee boyd malvo.. coincidence?? i dont fucking think so.
Johnny B
more
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Posted: 11/17/2005 8:04:58 AM
While your at it do the other kids on Malcom in the middle, Reese and Dewey
Andy
Rudy got HOT
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Posted: 11/17/2005 8:20:37 AM
DAMN!!!!!
And that pic of Ben Seaver's sweep mullet is ultra-classic.
Drawz
Seven
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Posted: 11/17/2005 8:28:29 AM
Married With Children was one of the most brilliant shows ever, but holy ham fritters, was that kid Seven fucking annoying.
Abe Froman
Josie Davis
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Posted: 11/17/2005 9:24:40 AM
Josie Davis (charles in charge) can hold her own against Nicole Eggart any day of the week now. Check out some recent pics and you will slap yourself.
Will
Senior CAD Operator
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Posted: 11/17/2005 9:30:09 AM
Gee, I can hardly wait to see how the current crop of pubescent stars turn out - especially those kids on "Malcolm in the Middle". I foresee the kid playing Reese turning into some Danny Bonaduce/Eminem morphodite thug. Frankie Muniz was funny back when the show started but now he's gratingly whiny. He'll probably turn into the next irritatingly earnest young actor promoting the next big "progressive" political cause. I foresee the kid who plays Dewey "coming out" when he turns 17 or 18, and turning into a highly unfunny male version of Rosie O'Donnell.
Phil
Fresh Prince
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Posted: 11/17/2005 9:31:58 AM
I think Tatyana Ali (Ashley Banks) from Fresh Prince can be included here. The show used that whole Rudy Huxtable thing on us after Ashely grew up and had to bring in some other character as the "cute kid". They ended up creating that stupidass Nicky character. Jesus fucking Christ....all the other Banks' kids were in high school and Uncle Phil's gotta go shooting his manjuice inside Vivian again???
Couldn't they just have adopted some cute starving black kid from Somalia?? Oh wait....those kids aren't cute. You can see their ribs and the flies around their head....
JCO
Punky Brewster!
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Posted: 11/17/2005 9:38:02 AM
Don't forget Punky Brewster! She was an annoying little puke hanging with grandpa, but now she is one fine piece of ass!
Yakov
Webster
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Posted: 11/17/2005 11:29:23 AM
"Mam and George, can I take the secret passageway to the kitchen?"
He was just like Arnold Jackson Drummond. Mine eyes could not see any puberty going on.
Also, I thought the older sister in Fresh Prince was hot.
...sharing the laughter and love....sha lala laaaa....
What a country!!!!
JP
Hilarious
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Posted: 11/17/2005 11:29:23 AM
Great piece. Referring to Rudi as the Black Jan Brady is a great call.
It's
Come on
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Posted: 11/17/2005 11:31:37 AM
BUKKAKE!!!!!!!!! You can't misspell that brutha!!
Christine
Awesome Article
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Post #: 17
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Posted: 11/17/2005 11:32:47 AM
I was in love with Ben Seaver until the acne years. I didn't understand what was happening to him. ISn't funny how we never questioned the mullet then? I mean its ridiculous, there is no reason to accept it, yet we did.
I am still laughing at the picture of Paul Pfifer. It wasn't right to see.
K.W.
Lots-o-loads
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Posted: 11/17/2005 11:34:53 AM
I believe its "Bukkake" its Japanese. Think phonetic in a language that doesn't have a sound for "c."
K.W.
also
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Posted: 11/17/2005 11:36:27 AM
Jodi Sweetin was hot then and is hot now. ( I think were about the same age, so its not pedofilic... I dont think.)
Cameron
Whoa
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Posted: 11/17/2005 11:41:06 AM
Hold the fucking phone a minute...did you call the Olsen's "mutant frogs" and ask how they have their current status? Let me answer...they are hot and they are twins. Were you fucking stoned when you wrote this? Of every picture you have posted, their picture is the only one with somebody who looks good, nay, two people who look hot.
I don't think the Olsen's belong anywhere on this list. They have turned their appearances as infants into a nine figure enterprise. They are the only successes out of everyone on the list...and they are now legal.
matt
How about
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Post #: 21
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Posted: 11/17/2005 11:46:55 AM
That fucking kid on Small Wonder not the robot, but the obviously soon to be sucking cock at rest stops for quarters kid. Annoying voice annoying everything. Not like the show was great anyways. That and that kid Mitch from the movie Real Geniuses-what the hells was wrong with him. A eunuch with a perm. Good article JIm
Bad memories too!
How could you forget!!!
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Posted: 11/17/2005 12:13:13 PM
Umm, how has no one mentioned Frankie Muniz from Malcom in the Middle??? That kid went from cute little brother to like a 25 year old with some weird frog voice that still seems to be in middle school? Also his friend in the wheel chair is now like 30! I can't beliieve they still make this show.
Mack
Hardly a surprise with Pintauro...
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Posted: 11/17/2005 12:16:20 PM
Most sitcoms have that special episode where a cast member gets to showcase his/her real talent. As soon as li'l Danny Pintauro made his gymnastics team on "Who's the Boss"... America knew where the real-life story was heading.
And what about Stacy Keanan, of "My Two Dads" and "Step by Step" fame. She had her own unique pubescent thing going on. She never aged for about 15 years. She probably still looks the same and searching for sitcom roles as the non-descript, non-threatening older sister.
Yakov
Cameron
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Posted: 11/17/2005 12:34:24 PM
If you like skin and bones then the Olsens are for you. Seriously, one of them is Ethiopian-skinny.
In Soviet Russia food eats you!
matt
Mack
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Posted: 11/17/2005 12:49:31 PM
That is true she was on step by step right. TRhat Al chcik ended up being smoking.
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