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The Coy (or is it Vance?) of The Man Show, glad this job requires no skill.
Hit television show “Fear Factor”, now in it’s fifth season, plans to up the ante this coming fall with all-new, all perilous stunts.
Known for it’s gross-out factor, along with it’s regular fear factor, “Fear Factor” challenges good-looking contestants to face their deepest fears. Fears like leaping from a building onto a moving truck, laying in a tank full of spiders and the more common, everyday fear of spinning a wheel to see if you have to eat a hundred-year-old egg, a cow’s testicle or a live frog. But according to producers, the coming season will bring many new twists and surprises.
“We want to increase the shock factor for our audience, while at the same time, not losing our already stunning fear factor,” director J. Rupert Thompson explained while wrestling a calf to the ground, “If shock value is the numerator and high ratings are the denominator, than I want this season to have a fear factor of extreme ”.
Thompson was not allowed to divulge too many of the specifics of said extreme factors, but he did tell us that he once skydived with a live alligator strapped to his back. That story seemed to loosen him up.
No honey, you can't possibly eat phallic meats without a bikini!
“OK, I really shouldn’t be divulging the specifics of too many of our new extreme stunts, but, I have to admit, I am excited,” Thompson grinned as he smashed a live cockroach with his NBC mug and promptly ate it, pumping his fists in the air and whooping with bug bits flying out of his mouth. “Many of the greatest stunts were specifically my ideas.”
“One of my favorites will be featured on our second all-model show of the season, probably the fourth episode. The ladies will have to overcome their fear of- get this- they’ll have to kill a human baby and then carry it's body up one-hundred seventeen flights of stairs, unlock a door with one of seven keys in the dead baby's stomach, and then throw a live dog off the roof! The best part, though, is that they will be wearing bikinis that look like the American flag,” Thompson looked down and put his hand over his heart, “It’s the least we can do for the anniversary of 9/11".
Thompson giddily promised that the final episode of the season would be ground-breaking.
“The finale will be phenomenal. I’m predicting amazing ratings for us and the network. I’m not going to give away too much, but I’ll say one thing: death. Okay, three things: death, a locked room, and AIDS! And lots of hidden cameras! Four things. The winner will get an AMAZING prize. We’re in negotiations with Ford to include a brand-new, fully loaded Focus in that package. The loser’s prize package will, of course, be donated to AIDS research.”
Thompson could not comment further. He was, however, able to successfully trap a tornado in a mason jar and tell us that the all-new “Fear Factor” can be seen on Mondays at 8/7 Central on NBC and also at 3pm on Nickelodeon.
Have you heard about the new Ultimate, Ultimate Challenge being shot? They say it is gonna be the most intense reality show ever made. I wonder how it will compare to the new Fear Factors.
albanian guy
Real stunts
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Posted: 8/23/2005 11:34:37 AM
I have a few ideas for the guys at Fear Factor:
-Have contestants see how many plate glass windows they can run through. -Have male contestants see how many toothpicks they can shove in their peehole. -Make them spin a wheel and based on the number they spin, that is the amount of fingers they have to cut off with a Japanese Kitana sword. -Use pregnant contestants and see who can give the fastest abortion.
Just a few suggestions.
matt
Uh-oh!
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Posted: 8/23/2005 11:44:52 AM
I think I saw a 9/11 joke in there. I am sure an onslaught of insults and tearfilled stories will follow. Good shit thouhgj, dead baby jokes always good for a laugh.
PapaSmurf
funny stuff
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Posted: 8/23/2005 1:04:26 PM
fuck fear factor.
good stuff molly... oh and you are hot. assuming that is your real photo in the profile.
deuce
albanian guy..
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Posted: 8/23/2005 1:05:17 PM
nice in... 1 question:
if the # they spin on the wheel is greater than 10, can we start cutting off joe slogan's finger's too?
albanian guy
Deuce
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Posted: 8/23/2005 3:11:18 PM
If more than ten they have to cut them off, then swordfight, fingerless and the winner will reat the other contestans brain and liver.
deuce
albanian guy..
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Posted: 8/23/2005 3:15:40 PM
gotcha..
japanese kitana sword.. haven't laughed that loud since reading the "peel out" article, thanks
sharky
is ist just me or
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Posted: 8/23/2005 4:22:03 PM
is Joe Slogan (thanks deuce like that one) wearing eye make-up?
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