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Dear James Iha,
First of all, let me just say this- you rock. Totally.
There, now that we got that out of the way I just wanted to write a letter telling you what a fan I am. I even bought your solo album Let It Come Down when it came out (and then again in 2001 after some asshole stole it at a house party). “Be Strong Now” and “One and Two” are probably my favorite songs on there. Also, “Blew Away” is my favorite Pumpkins song. Why didn’t Billy let you sing more?
I’m Japanese too and I play guitar in a band like you, but not as successful, obviously. We’re called Hero Shima. Anyway man, I just wanted to say that you rule and I was totally bummed when I heard you stopped playing with A Perfect Circle. Hopefully you resurface again soon so I can make it out to a show.
Your fan,
Andy Nagamata
Andy,
Hey man. Thanks for the cool letter. I haven’t really gotten much fan mail lately. I’m glad to hear that you like my music. That’s rad.
As for your question about Billy not letting me sing more, let me tell you, I honestly don’t know. He’s a bit of a control freak. And you didn’t hear it here, but he’s not as down with the yellow as you’d think. D’arcy and I were just props to him. Why do you think our keyboardist and drummer were such junkies? Lack of creative control will do that to you.
So your band sounds cool. It would be awesome if you guys got famous and Hero Shima blew up big time. Get it? You asked me when I’m going to resurface again? Well maybe I can hook up with you guys and jam sometime. Who knows what it will lead to?
Let me know man,
Iha
James,
Wow! You want to play with us? That’s so cool, but unfortunately Hero Shima is no more. We broke up last week. I think I’m done with the band thing, which is a total bummer because it would have been really cool to rock out with you, but I’m finished with junior college now and I think it’s time to get on with my life.
Thanks for writing back. It was awesome to get a letter from you. Good luck with whatever you do.
Andy Nagamata
Andy,
So that’s it? You just give up on your dream like that? We could still form a band you know. We could call ourselves Naga Mata or something. Come on man, Asian Power. We can change the landscape of rock and roll forever.
Think it through, and when you come to your senses let me know and we will form the most amazing band in the history of music. We will tag-team groupies and take lots of pills that we can't pronounce.
Won’t you take me down… to the underground?
Iha
James,
Hey man. Look, I gotta say, your letter kind of weirded me out a bit. I never said rock and roll was a dream of mine. For me it’s just a hobby, so I’m not sure where your urge to start a band with someone you don’t even know is coming from. All I did was write a letter.
I know music is your life and seriously, I’m rooting for you to find something that works out, but in the meantime I’d appreciate it if you keep me out of those plans.
Best,
Andy
The 2,392th best selling album of 1998
Dear Quitter,
It’s me, Iha. I’ve got a question for you. Where were you Saturday night? I looked up your address and stopped by and your mom said you were “out”, but I thought I heard a Fender Strat echoing from the back of the house. Could it be that you are avoiding me?
I will not be deterred by your unwillingness to accept your destiny as the rhythm guitarist for our supergroup. I am going to sing and write amazing lyrics and you will shred by my side. I’m going to call our band Yellow Fever. I even designed a logo already. It’s awesome.
Get ready to have all of your wildest dreams come true.
Iha
James,
Dude, you need to back off. My mom said you came to the door drenched in sweat and carrying a tire iron. Not cool.
Look, I was a fan of yours and I thought it would be cool to write you a letter. That’s it. I don’t want to be in a band with you. I don’t want to “change the landscape of rock and roll forever”, and frankly, after the past few days, I don’t even want to meet you.
Back off,
Andy
Andy “No Eyes” Nagamata
Oh blind one, when will you see? I watched you take your guitar into the pawnshop the other night. Bad move. I’m willing to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you figured I have so much free gear from my days with the Pumpkins that I would be providing all the equipment for our band. Unfortunately, I had to sell all of that in 2005 when I became addicted to playing Three Card Poker at an online casino.
Who was that girl you went out with? Do you think she is hot? She’s okay-looking, but nothing compared to the trim we will get as bandmates. It’s a shame you’re going to have to break her heart.
I ate a room temperature can of green beans last night in preparation for our first songwriting session. This will be the type of thing that historians will write about in the many unauthorized biographies about our band. It will be a “fun fact” that our biggest fans will delight in sharing with people at dinner parties.
Destiny calls, Andy, and if you don’t answer her soon she just may have to start calling with a hail of automatic gunfire.
Jimmy Iha
Dear Mr. James Iha,
I sent a copy of your last letter to the Fallbrook County sheriff’s department. A restraining order has been filed and any further attempt to contact me may be deemed in violation of said restraining order.
Please cease all contact with me.
Andy Nagamata
A. N.,
Ha ha, just kidding! But not really. It’s all a joke. You’re gonna die. Kidding!
I spoke to Dionysos, the god of wine, intoxication, and creative ecstasy last night and he told me I was pushing you too hard. I gave it some thought and I think he was right. He’s always right. He also told me that I should get an apartment in your town and offer you a place to crash. I agreed. The offer is on the table.
I also took a lot of different medication that I’ve been falling behind on lately. I figured I’d catch up all at once! I am catching up… and winding down. What an incredible song lyric that would be. I had a lot of those, but Billy would never let me use them. What a control freak he was. It was always “his band” and “his vision”. Maybe that’s why things got so weird between you and I, Andy. I never wanted it to end this way, just know that.
I’m getting really tired now buddy. I think I’ll just lie down for a while and when I wake up I will be sure to stop by and apologize to your mother. Oh, and to you too.
Holy shit! I always though Iha was a bit of a weirdo but this is absurd!
sam
fantastic
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Posted: 5/12/2006 10:48:03 AM
i was really hesitant, but this was terriffic.
GRB
huh?
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Posted: 5/12/2006 11:56:03 AM
Who the fuck is James Iha? Why do I care? WTF!
Very good!
Very Good!
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Posted: 5/12/2006 5:47:27 PM
This is one of the best things I've read on here in a while!
Thank you!
Dreegs
Awesome
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Posted: 5/14/2006 6:35:33 PM
Just the right touch of randomness to keep me interested in the beginning, then a whole lot of funny. Nice job.
falen
great
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Posted: 7/27/2006 5:04:27 AM
well james iha, u really great man. Knowing the fact u still in music industry delight me. in my country we rarely can find ur albums..... keep d music on!!!!! Chayo chayo chayo...GBu
mistress of spices
when on world tou????
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Posted: 7/31/2006 6:01:43 AM
i just so crazy about u and like to hear more from u.... what are u doing now
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