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Blue Collar's Royal Command Performace in the UK
HOLLYWOOD, California -- On the heels of their number one movie “Jackass 2” Johnny Knoxville and his eccentric band of irreverent thespians have announced that they will be teaming up with the Blue Collar Comedy Tour this winter. Knoxville made the announcement at a press junket for the movie while fellow ensemble member “Steve- O”, donned in an adult sized diaper and football helmet, shot paint balls at Knoxville’s scrotum.
“We really appreciate the subtle art of Blue Collar” said Knoxville “what they’ve been able to accomplish with their brand of thought provoking and provocative comedy styling is awe inspiring. It really is going to be an honor to share the stage with them and create what I hope will be an artistic collaboration the likes of … Aghhhh Shit! My fucking Taint!!!” Knoxville was inconsolable as he rolled around in dog shit grasping his crotch for a good ten minutes.
“It’s almost a shame you have to call what (Blue Collar) creates…comedy” added Steve O prior to firing paintballs at Knoxville’s scrot “I’ve always considered their work to be social commentary. Actually social commentary might a bit diminutive because Blue Collar weaves such a magnificent tapestry of…. Ahhhhh My Nut! My fucking Nut!!” He then recoiled to the ground as one of the 2 dozen scorpions in his diaper apparently latched onto one of his testicles. He was tended to by his fellow players who beat him with tennis rackets.
In a phone interview with the men of Blue Collar Comedy, Larry the Cable Guy sounded extremely optimistic.
“Having seen the film, more over the “Opus” that is Jackass 2, we were absolutely thrilled to hear that Knoxville and Steve-O were interested in collaborating with us.”
“To me” added Bill Engvall, “It would be like seeing Rembrandt unveiling “Christ in the Storm on the Sea of Galilee” and then have him magically offer you a chance to paint with him.”
“Jeff, Bill, Ron and I appreciate Jackass 2 for what it is, art at its highest echelon.” Added Larry. “And to procure this golden opportunity to work with such creative genius really is a gift. We can barely contain our exuberance and… well…… GIT-R-DONE!” Larry then put the receiver to his rear end and passed gas whilst humming “Free Bird”.
Steve O
Ron White wanted to dispel the idea that the collaborative piece would somehow be a watered down version of both ensembles. He went on quantify the lofty goals the proposed showcase aimed to attain.
“People have to understand that this show. This piece, rather, is going to be a pedigree of thoughts and ideas shared between us. It’s hoped that it will be as humorous as it is enlightening. And they’ll be fireworks too.”
“We’re building a house out of dog shit and were’re gonna blow it up” added Larry. “But I don’t want to give too much away. You’ll just have to wait and see.”
Though enthusiastic about the show’s content, the show’s official title is still on the drawing board says Jeff Foxworthy.
“When dialog first began about the performance, the tentative title was “Ode to the Merriment of Men” but soon after, creative force gave way to its current working title “The Shit Bonner Express”.
Inside the Actors Process
This came” chuckled Foxworthy “from an exchange between myself and Steve O on Hemmingway and his time in San Juan and there was a brief debate between he and I as to Hemmingway’s creative state, when all of a sudden we both had the idea to paint our tour bus brown and cover it with pieces of corn. That’s when Knoxville said why use paint? Why not use the real thing? It’s very exciting working when there is no creative limit.”
“It’s sort of like taking a perpetual and existential dump.” added Ron White
The tentatively titled “Shit Boner Express” is slated to begin touring in Late November with stops in such notable venues as The Kennedy Centre for the Arts in Washington DC, Carnegie Hall in New York City, and an outdoor performance at Feela Tequila Speedway in Daytona Florida.
this was ok. had either or both "parties involved" at one point claimed to be "art, respectable, high-brow, etc.." this article might have passed. however, it reeks of "dammit, i wish i would have thought of that..." the same way it does when david cross writes it...
you're better than this fath.
antony
i concur with deuce
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Posted: 9/28/2006 10:28:55 AM
this is almost as bad as writing an article about chris rock and steve harvey, and having both of them claim that "we're gonna come out dressed as slaves and sing old gospel songs, and it'll show everyone that even rich black people who eat the finest foods, and party at the finest clubs, still get put down by the man, but we'll use the word 'nigga' alot and talk about our big dicks, so it'll still be fun for everyone." it's just too believable to be funny, and too unsubstantiated to be considered parody. the pictures were funny though.
Grammar Nazi
I liked
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Posted: 9/28/2006 11:59:20 AM
the double irony of the attempt to have Foxworthy appear high-brow with the grammatically *incorrect* "between he and I."
Overall, decent.
I do hope this creates a bunch of defensive comments from the fans of these clowns, because that would be fun...
antony
dear grammar black panther
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Posted: 9/28/2006 1:19:09 PM
why would anyone get defensive over this? i think foxworthy's intelligence speaks for itself (if you know anything about the fellow beyond his stand routines) and as for the Jackass crew, well they've made plenty of money by videotaping college style pranks, what could be bad about that? do you suck dick for blow?
Tom A
charlie's drunk again
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Posted: 9/28/2006 1:58:31 PM
This one (should be in Entertainment) and the new way to shop one (should be Fake News) got switched.
Charlie
I'm not drunk (unfortunately)
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Posted: 9/28/2006 3:13:37 PM
This is a fake new piece... Fake news is fake news regardless of topic. At least that's my take on it.
I need to start drinking though... got a bachelor party this weekend, so I need to get the tolerance up. Off to the bar.
Tom A
Well...
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Posted: 9/28/2006 3:28:09 PM
How is that other one (new way to shop) "Entertainment," then?
Never mind. Enjoy the booze...
Tom A
2 Minutes and 2 seconds
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Posted: 9/28/2006 4:09:43 PM
First Pic Caption:
After blowing through all his "Love Connection" money on magic mushrooms, Chuck Woolery was forced to sever his body parts, and send them out in pairs to entertain rednecks, in a sad attempt to make ends meet.
Jeff
JACKASS IS SO QUEER IT MAKES MY ASS HURT
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Posted: 9/28/2006 4:53:01 PM
The Blue Collar group may suck (Ron White excuded), but at least they don't have to resort to masochism to keep from fucking each other in the ass.
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