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Mark Garrison Dear Pornographers, Original Post
View Profile Posts: 6
Rank: 163
Member Since:  4/8/2007
Location:  Converse, TX
Posted: 4/20/2007

Not this movie. The other Wild Hogs.
Dear Pornographers,

There is something going wrong with your industry. There has been for some time, but it didn't hit me until I watched my latest rental. Now don't get me wrong, I'm a huge fan of most of your work. However, there are a few things that must be discussed.

There are certain things that when seen in pornographic films completely screw up "the moment." We as devoted customers and loyal fans of the genital arts deserve- no, demand the absolute best quality product available. ... Read Full Story
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  • TM Wow () Post #: 1
    View Profile Posts: 1151
    Rank: 9
    Joined:  3/13/2007
    Location:  My Cubicle, CO
    Posted: 4/20/2007 9:52:58 AM
    How's that to start off your friday. Glorious job Mr Garrison, 5 stair sex mishaps gone bad.

    I would like to expand on one of your recommendations and say that the camera should never, on any circumstances, switch solely to the guys face for more than a 2 second interval. No one wants to see some guys face for 30 seconds during a hot scene, no one.
    Balls Just me? () Post #: 2
    View Profile Posts: 1542
    Rank: 6
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  New York, NY
    Posted: 4/20/2007 9:57:00 AM
    It bothers me when there are condoms involved.


    P.S. Thanks Mark. With this being 4/20 AND a Friday I really think this discussion board could take off. I'll be back with more later.
    Shit Sandwich God & Ant () Post #: 3
    View Profile Posts: 812
    Rank: 11
    Joined:  12/14/2006
    Location:  Washington, DC
    Posted: 4/20/2007 10:03:31 AM
    Dear God,

    Please let me die without ever witnessing the horror of "white chicks with black labia". I beg of you not to foresake me.

    Sincerely,

    Shitwich

    ---

    Nicely done. I could survive w/o seeing ATM as well.

    Hey Ant, you want to retort to the questions regarding the legitimacy of MS? ...and UVU sounds right up your alley!
    Scunt Addition to DG () Post #: 4
    View Profile Posts: 32
    Rank: 148
    Joined:  3/21/2007
    Location:  FPO, AE
    Posted: 4/20/2007 10:10:15 AM
    Female ass hair, or am I the only one that has seen that?
    dc Wow () Post #: 5
    View Profile Posts: 1212
    Rank: 15
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Clearwater, FL
    Posted: 4/20/2007 10:28:34 AM
    Mr. Garrison, you have certainly set the bar high for yourself going forward. Great piece.
    BN Ha () Post #: 6
    View Profile Posts: 1265
    Rank: 7
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  TPP Island, NY
    Posted: 4/20/2007 10:45:56 AM
    Balls its not just you, I hate everything about condoms and I'm not even refering to porn dudes wearing them!
    Christine Welcome Mr. Garrison () Post #: 7
    View Profile Posts: 2890
    Rank: 1
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Philadelphia, PA
    Posted: 4/20/2007 10:45:56 AM
    Wonderful job! I can think of no reason to show a guy's face during porn at all. It is mainly viewed by straight men and women who watch get more turned on imagining what it feels like for the woman on screen getting railed, that they're not paying attention to the often ugly male.

    I got stuck watching porn quite a bit when I used to live with a bunch of guys. I would run away at first, but after a few months, it didn't even phase me.

    One porn was called Sex all over the City or something like that. The woman was obsessed with shoes and made the store clerks fuck her with heels. And they really fucked her with the heels. Watching that hurt my vagina so bad that I no longer use tampons.
    antony whew.....that was close...but i gave it a 5 for the idea () Post #: 8
    View Profile Posts: 1375
    Rank: 10
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  savannah, GA
    Posted: 4/20/2007 10:55:26 AM
    letter from the porn industry*
    dear sirs,
    white girls with black labia- this is why you don't buy the $5.99 dvd's just because they say they have 6 hours of "The Hottest Action You'll Ever See". trust me when i say that the lisa robin kelly face-clone we picked up on the way to the studio, isn't the hottest action you'll ever see, even if you're sparta. also, the black-labia thing seems to be a real problem with the asians. and of course, black women. MS and UVU are perfectly acceptable, and i will not have it any other way. spitting on a woman in any fashion, anywhere on her body, is always a good thing. her reciprocating is also nice.
    women's anal hair- we try to bleach it, and depending on foilage and "prep time" this should be acceptable. butt let's face it, no one likes finding hair in their food, and when you give a gal $10 bucks and some meth to lick another woman's ass, she's probably gonna bitch if it isn't at least presentable.
    man hands- this is a completely understandable quipe, and it should be worked on in the future, however, nicole bass makes excellent S&M videos, mainly because she's a steroid sucking mule of an amazon, so you'll just have to deal with it from her. -end

    i would like to submit that women tossing man salad is by no means an acceptable act in porn. the sanctity of a man's ass should be kept private and not shoved into a 4 minute scene before the gangbang starts. how the fuck am i supposed to fantasize about Chrissy Cockholster swallowing my ballsack after i see her french-kissing some guys brown-eye?


    Stiggs Scunt () Post #: 9
    View Profile Posts: 297
    Rank: 25
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  East Lansing, MI
    Posted: 4/20/2007 11:33:41 AM
    Seriously, what the hell is with the asshole hair? It kills the whole anal aspect for me.

    This doesn't really bother me, but has anyone ever see a guy stick it/blow his load in a chick's ear? I laughed so hard I almost coughed up my lung.
    Balls And another thing () Post #: 10
    View Profile Posts: 1542
    Rank: 6
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  New York, NY
    Posted: 4/20/2007 11:53:31 AM
    Don't have a girl take face shots unless she really knows how to do it. When she knows it coming and closes her eyes and mouth and sort of looks away from the whole thing it sort of ruins it for me. I'd rather the guy just shoot it on her tits. That's what made Jenna Jameson so special (among other things) was that she really enjoyed the money shot (or atleast looked like she did). She got all in that and ate it up (literally and figureatively). God bless her.
    Stevenrdog The double Stuft () Post #: 11
    View Profile Posts: 17
    Rank: 2125
    Joined:  12/8/2006
    Location:  Providence, RI
    Posted: 4/20/2007 11:57:05 AM
    When two guys go in the same hole? Thats the fucking worst. First of all, no girl should have two dicks in either of her holes at the same time. Second, half the dick is rubbing against another dudes dick. So technically your fucking a girl and a guy at the same time. Ya, sweet.
    Arrogant Bastahhd Brilliant first effort () Post #: 12
    View Profile Posts: 1283
    Rank: 13
    Joined:  2/22/2007
    Location:  miami, FL
    Posted: 4/20/2007 11:59:19 AM
    We thank you very much Mr. Garrison. I've been meaning to say something about this spitting in girls mouths phenomenon for quite some time, but I just can't find the proper juncture to approach the topic, so thank you.

    Three things I never want to see:

    1. the famous under both their legs shot: I don't want a closeup of his balls and this isn't her best angle, just stop it.

    2. the chick spreading her ass cheeks after she's just been railed in the ass for an hour. I don't want to see how badly you've been mamed by this act or know that you could now shit a buick without feeling it.

    3. sucking off the fucking strap-on for 10 minutes... really. Do I even need to address this. No it's not as bad as the rest, but it's just so pointless. If you need to lube that thing up with some spit, use those previously referenced spitting skills and your good, or just throw some fucking lube on it, but don't waste my motherfuckin time.
    Whaler Dave I'm with you Balls () Post #: 13
    View Profile Posts: 96
    Rank: 46
    Joined:  3/16/2007
    Location:  Kansas City, MO
    Posted: 4/20/2007 12:02:04 PM
    Porn girls, don't ruin my 8 minutes of fantasy time by looking so pitiful and degraded. We know blowing two midgets with a Bud tall-boy in your ass is embarassing, but for the moment, for us, it is enthralling. It's not going to hurt you anymore than that tall-boy if you smile a bit more and act like you're enjoying it. I'll have time to reflect on your pitifulness later, just as you will have time to relfect on your bad choices after your $300 earnings worth of meth is gone.

    I'm not saying keep it real, this is porn after all, I'm saying keep it better than real just for the duration of the scene, and worry about your sphincter control later. I'm trying to enjoy this after all.
    Arrogant Bastahhd Balls () Post #: 14
    View Profile Posts: 1283
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    Joined:  2/22/2007
    Location:  miami, FL
    Posted: 4/20/2007 12:03:43 PM
    I'm gonna sharply disagree here, I think that the innocent looking girl, who's a little afraid of the money shot, is kinda hot. And it's funny as hell.
    TM Daddy? () Post #: 15
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    Joined:  3/13/2007
    Location:  My Cubicle, CO
    Posted: 4/20/2007 12:12:00 PM
    Ok so I think quite a few of us would agree that most of these girls get into this profession because daddy didn't love them or in most cases was not even around.

    Does anyone else think its hilarious that these same deadbeat dads are probably beating their meat to their own daughters and have absolutely no idea?
    helloclarice Man ass () Post #: 16
    View Profile Posts: 12
    Rank: 2096
    Joined:  12/13/2006
    Location:  Newark, NJ
    Posted: 4/20/2007 12:13:43 PM
    The between the legs shot that simultaneously shows the ball pounding and the labia-stretching is just unnecessary. As are any ATM shots.
    antony sir, () Post #: 17
    View Profile Posts: 1375
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    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  savannah, GA
    Posted: 4/20/2007 12:26:25 PM
    i must say that i don't much care for your slandering of ass-to-mouth. i put it to you, that there has been no greater a thing than ATM introduced to the institution of pornagraphy, since John Holmes made co-star Black Majik cough up blood after an on-set "gliding" accident in 1977. what say you to that, sir?
    Scunt Stiggs () Post #: 18
    View Profile Posts: 32
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    Joined:  3/21/2007
    Location:  FPO, AE
    Posted: 4/20/2007 12:35:26 PM
    I don't know man.

    When i was in Germany once, we stopped at a gas station and i picked up one of there magizines. The first picture i turned to was the fucking red head fire crotch. This bitch had to have been a post op cause that ass had an old growth forest in there.
    Spartan Ring around the rosey () Post #: 19
    View Profile Posts: 2088
    Rank: 5
    Joined:  2/27/2007
    Location:  Ventura, CA
    Posted: 4/20/2007 12:35:56 PM
    I never want to see the three other guys in the gang-bang jerking themselves while they wait for their turn.
    If I want to see that, I'll put a mirror next to the T.V.
    Asmar Great article () Post #: 20
    View Profile Posts: 214
    Rank: 16
    Joined:  12/14/2006
    Location:  Pasadena, CA
    Posted: 4/20/2007 12:43:36 PM
    All legit gripes. I respect that everyone has their weird kink that they like to see in porn. I am very meat and potatoes with my porn: hot chicks, blowjobs, midgets, lesbians, etc.
    I am also a great opponent to the guy's face shot as well as the behind the taint angle.
    To add to the list, I hate the asshole who is too lazy/cheap to hire a camera man so he films everything from the first person angle. Now there is a genre of first person movies that are done excellently with professionals in which the camera doesn't shake while the guy struggles to take off his socks or rides the Hershey Highway.

    Arrogant Bastahhd hey assmar () Post #: 21
    View Profile Posts: 1283
    Rank: 13
    Joined:  2/22/2007
    Location:  miami, FL
    Posted: 4/20/2007 12:51:30 PM
    give me a break man, I'm getting better. It's not as easy as you'd think.
    dc Hey, everybody () Post #: 22
    View Profile Posts: 1212
    Rank: 15
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Clearwater, FL
    Posted: 4/20/2007 1:31:28 PM
    Spartan made a funny!
    Christine DC () Post #: 23
    View Profile Posts: 2890
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    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Philadelphia, PA
    Posted: 4/20/2007 1:35:47 PM
    He met he turn the mirror to face the two guys in his bedroom jerking off on his back.
    Christine Nevermind () Post #: 24
    View Profile Posts: 2890
    Rank: 1
    Joined:  12/7/2006
    Location:  Philadelphia, PA
    Posted: 4/20/2007 1:37:03 PM
    : (
    Asmar Speak of weird porn () Post #: 25
    View Profile Posts: 214
    Rank: 16
    Joined:  12/14/2006
    Location:  Pasadena, CA
    Posted: 4/20/2007 1:39:50 PM
    Did anyone follow the link of the day and watch the sketch Sketch Troupe and not think of Big Nick teaching a Canadian hooker stalking class?
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