Luring the enemy into a false sense of security by surrendering
1789 - On July 14th of that year, the streets of Paris run red with blood as the underclasses rise up against the tyrannical rule of Louis XVI. The commander of the Bastille, Paris' largest prison, realizes that the mob is beginning to march on his garrison, and that he cannot hope to keep them from storming the gates. In a rare display of exemplary generalship, the fort's commander tricks the peasant army into storming the Bastille, and putting himself and many of his men to death after they release the many prisoners. Even as his head is raised at the end of a pike and thrown into the Seine, the Bastille commander's plan has worked; he has lured his enemies into a false sense of security.
1812 - After marching across an entire continent to reach his destination of Moscow, Napoleon is upset to find the capital of the Russian empire in ruins. After trying to survive the harsh Russian winter, he devises a devious plot: he will force his army to march back to French-controlled Europe, leading the Tsar and his armies to believe that Napoleon has conceded defeat. The forced march also has the positive side effect of killing off several troublesome servicemen who had complained that "no one goes to Russia in December!", and who had often complained that Napoleon's promises of gorgeous Russian women proved false.
1914 - France at the outbreak of the First World War sees her frontiers pierced by Germany, and there is much fainting in Paris among effeminate men as the Huns draw closer with each day. The French Military soon hits upon a brilliant strategy: they will lure the Germans into a false sense of security by retreating right up to the gates of Paris, and even allow the enemy to march into the capital, before delivering a counter offensive with their new national flag (in which the original "tricolor" of red, white, and blue is replaced by a simple white design). Thankfully for the French, their allies from England are able to talk them out of this plan, though not before much of northern France is under German control. France consoles itself with the knowledge that the Germans are forced to rape unattactive village women and not the beautiful women of Gay Paree, and for the next four years attempt many times to lure the Germans to Paris but are kept from doing so by the British and later American forces.
1940 - Once again, as Germany marches on her frontier, France prepares to spring a trap for the Germans: retreat, retreat, and retreat some more. This time, the British are unable to convince their ally to stand and fight the Germans, and have to leave the continent. The French celebrate by leaving Paris open to German soldiers, who proceed to march down the Champs Elysses all night because they have just discovered the power of lattes. For four years, the French continue their plan to convince the Germans that they were victorious, until they can finally regain power. This they achieve when the U.S. invades at Normandy, but they would have gotten around to it eventually.
1954 - In thanks for the United States bailing them out of WWII, the French decide to let America take over in a small sliver of Southeast Asia. This land will later serve as the inspiration for the Vietnam War, and for once the French can laugh derisively at an American military failure while twirling the ends of their long moustaches.
1957-1966 - In Algeria, the French come up against a formidable foe: Islamic seperatists. With much gusto, the French decide to take on the rebels, mostly by conceeding entire blocks of the capital city of Algiers to the terrorists. They lure the Algerians into a false sense of security by finally leaving and allowing the Algerians to declare their independence. But in time, of course, France will strike when Algeria leasts expects it...at some point, for sure. It's not like the French have ever cut and run from a fight that they couldn't win.
They've just done that for every fight they've been involved in.
Clarification Posted: 7/19/2006by: Freedom Toast You mentioned that the storming of the Bastille, celebrated as Bastille Day in France (equivalent to Independence Day in America), caused the release of many prisoners. Not the case. The hullaballoo is all over 4 forgers, 2 madmen, and an indebted Irish noble. As we all know this is true cause for an annual firework lighting and picnic day. Some people just have to work with what the good lord gave them.
hey dude-
how was our civil war more innane and pointless than your multiple revolutions in which the French traded one monarch for another multiple times, and usually killed the replacement monarch within 3 years? All the while killing hundreds of thousands of civilians, most of which lived in the same region and had very little difference of opinion as the ones who were doing the killing. Great job.
Also, thank you to the French for pompously pissing off and mistreating the Vietnamese people in your "colony" during the early nineteenth century thusly creating the need for a Viet-Cong People's Liberation Army. After you guys raped and pillaged for years, Americans get to come and clean up. Thanks!!!
Hey, you did hit the gulf war etc. on the head though. But then again, was that really America doing the fighting? Or just it's soldiers.
One more thing. Just wanted to say thanks to France for showing up during the last 7 months of the American revolution and taking credit as being our allies afterward. I do believe jumping on that bandwagon was one of the best investments France has ever made, as we have paid retributions in the form foreign aid many times during the 20th century. And you bring what to the table?
Pinkies up!!!! isn't it on.... Posted: 7/19/2006by: antony uranus? a small, reddish, itchy bump on your uranus...right? great moments in US military stuff Posted: 7/19/2006by: dude 1860s (or some shit) - fighting each other and pretending that it was for the great cause of freeing slaves that you continue to hang from trees for the next 100 years.
1945 - waiting till the war was almost over with their heads up their asses pretending the rest of the world was less important than the "world" series of baseball, and then when every other country was fucked they drop a big fuck-off bomb on a couple of cities whose primary industry were cheap cars and wind-up toys. then carrying on like fucknuts about how they saved the world for the next however many fucking years its been.
whenever the fuck the vietnam war was - you self important fuckwits sure showed the world.
1991 - not having the balls to finish the gulf war
2006 - not having the brains to finish the gulf war
how many of you fuck-knuckles know where france is anyway ugh... Posted: 7/18/2006by: antony i was being facetious you cock-grinding shit-banger....now go blow your mother, while unlce antony makes a video of you for micheal jackson German army Posted: 7/17/2006by: Oly Why are the streets of Paris lined with so many trees?
Because the German army likes to march in the shade Remember the days? Posted: 7/17/2006by: Lefty When France was a nation of consequence...ships were made of wood, flat world debates still ran strong and Paris was much more than a tourist trap. Now the little social-marxists are stuck with a flat economy(at best), double digit unemployment and no clue of how to turn it around. Still great at whining and appeasment though . holy shit! Posted: 7/17/2006by: new low Way to correct that grammar - douchebag. grammar correction Posted: 7/17/2006by: antony hey frenchy.... no need to seperate the statement into two sentences, just use a comma instead of the period. You see my, undoubtedly smelly friend, by using a period there, you have lost the established subject of your rant ("Americans"); also, you should place the word "the" before "Americans" for this particular statement. oh and lastly, i believe you are what is referred to as a "fis a putain". cherri-O. Without the French Posted: 7/17/2006by: Marquis de Lafayette Americans would still be under the boot heel of the British. Eating bean pies with your crooked teeth. who are these "french" Posted: 7/17/2006by: antony that wer're talking about? aren't they extinct? I mean, the one decent soldier they ever had was a girl, and they bar-b-qued her. faggots, everyone! especially that Lance Armstrong fellow. one nut wonder.
