How are you all doing? Im cool. I just got done cleaning dirty panties for my cellmate Tonya and eight of her friends. If I wash them good and get all the blood and skidmarks out of them, she said shed let me have a crayon to write rhymes with. I asked her why she doesnt just let me do them in the laundry room, but she got all mad and said I need to shut up before I get raped with a strap-on up my ass. I am kinda new here, and I dont want to make enemies, so Id better just do as she says. I hope she gives me some paper, too. I don't want to write lyrics on this wall. That bitch might bite my rhymes!
A lot of yall want to know what a typical day is like for me here, so Ill try to briefly describe it.
In the morning, we wake up at 7:00 and take roll call. Im usually tired from having to eat out Tonya's girlfriend at night until she falls asleep. What makes it hard is that shes kinda big and when she comes she squeezes her legs together and damn near snaps my neck off! Youd think I just have to make her come once, but noooooo! She wants to climax like four times, y'all! And why does she always have to take a shit right before? Thats just WRONG, huh??
After roll call, my block goes to breakfast. Tonya said the girls on the block told her I have to carry one of them to the cafeteria on my back every day until I earn my stripes. I hope I earn 'em soon cause there are women on some ol' Oz shit up in here. Last week, I was carrying this chick to breakfast and she started pulling my hair and making these sounds like Yee haw!, and shit. Then she started saying stuff like, Faster, you big-tittied coon!, and, Run me to the cafeteria you strong-backed black bitch!, and, "White power rides again!". I told Tonya I was a little heated about that, but she told me to shut up. Again.
Oh! Theres a cute C.O. here, yall!! Hes named Derek and hes nice. He let's me use the computer in the library if I let him fuck. I mean, its nothing I havent done beforefor much less, really. Anything to get away and feel like I was back home, if only for a few minutes. He says he'll let me call my mom if I let him do something called a 'donkey punch'. Does anyone know what that is?
Starring the Queen Bee!
Anyway
After breakfast, we have exercise time on the yard, then we do our jobs. Im in the laundry. Like I said, I dont know WHY Tonya wont let me wash all those stanky-ass drawers while Im working. I tried to sneak and do it once, and she cut my hair off and shit in my mouth. Lesson learned.
We usually go back to the cell about 7:00 and lights out is at 10:00. Im usually just chilling in the cell thinking about my rhymes until Tonya tells me its time to tuck her girfriend in, like I described earlier. Kinda kills the mood when that happens, so I'm excited to get that crayon.
Well, Ive got to go. Im keeping my head up in here, though. Keep the Queen Bee in your prayers.
haterz Posted: 4/20/2006by: ella I feel really bad about how lil' kim might be feeling right now this situatiion is getting a little too crazy for her to handle I can't wait until she gets out later this year, cause shits going to go down for all yall haterz don't hate because of the way kims putting it down shes doing what she gotta do and shes keeping her head up shes always in my prayers JUST HATING!!!!!!! Posted: 3/31/2006by: RESSIE I KNOW LIL KIM AIN'T GOING OUT LIKE THAT. I love Prison Posted: 3/27/2006by: Poon I got raped in prison once......It was awsome. Donkey punch! Posted: 3/27/2006by: Ivan If you want nuanced smoke blown up your ass, go to bet.com and read her actual letters about playing fucking volleyball and other nonsense. Prison sex is where it's at, Max.
Chained Heat, bitches! my comment "was" pretty bad too Posted: 3/27/2006by: Max yeah, yeah... ok, this jas just plain bad Posted: 3/27/2006by: Max I was kind of looking forward to this one based on the title, but what could have been a nuanced look at the effects of race and celebrity upon a prisoner's lifestyle (compounded of course by the themes of sex and violence in Kimberly Jones' oeuvre) instead was a crass and unrealistic paean to prison sex.
Donkey punch, bitches! Bullshit Posted: 3/27/2006by: Moe Bullshit Lil Kim doesn't know what a donkey punch is. I bet she has been whacked a few times before. Chained Heat Posted: 3/27/2006by: Ivan Was a flick starring a teenaged Linda Blair. There is a scene where she gets gang-raped in the shower. Classic. Chained Heat Posted: 3/27/2006by: JPM Care to tell us what type of movie that is? Looks like some graphic porno.
O'Doyle rules! Yep Posted: 3/27/2006by: Jokes Nick Cannon is hilarius.........
