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Why hasn’t "Sesame Street" grown with us? Why can’t there be multiple generations of Sesame Street’s? As I get older, does that mean I need Sesame Street any less? Suddenly I find myself forced into a world where, once I sought guidance from Sesame Street, there is longer Sesame Street in which I can identify with. The characters of Sesame Street must face the same struggles we all do…why can’t their real stories, their real struggles be told?
Big Bird: He was born as a man, yet his soul is that of a woman. As a child there were children who struggled with their alphabet. Tthose same children now- do they not struggle with their own sexuality? Why can’t Big Bird, now, teach us how to cope with the struggle of gender identification? How has Big Bird dealt with his pre-op, post-op change?
Oscar the Grouch: Obviously Oscar is a womanizing, abusive, alcoholic individual. Oscar, show me how you have dealt with these things. Let me see what anger management classes, AA meetings, and time in the detox tank is like, through your eyes. As our own alcoholism surrounds us, let Oscar the Grouch show us how to defeat it.
Burt and Ernie: As homosexual marriages become legal, Burt and Ernie’s relationship has never been more important to us, the Pepsi Generation. Burt and Ernie have been together for years; why can’t they guide our homosexual counterparts in how to deal with the prejudice that follows with their chosen lifestyles? How do they deal with the day-in-day-out struggle of living with the man you love? What kind of lube is best for anal sex? These are the kind of questions that we now need. Burt and Ernie taught me how to share, now is the time to share in their struggle and their overcoming of that struggle.
Elmo: When we were children, Elmo was a child. However, as we grow, so does Elmo. Elmo is the classic coming-of-age story; why can’t it be told? One day Elmo is looking at Ms Piggy as if she has cooties; the next day, his private parts are a tingle with the thought of her? Yet, no one ever taught Elmo about safe sex. Take me into the clinic as Elmo gets his first penicillin shot, take me into his girlfriend’s house as she tells him that she’s about to become his baby’s momma. Let Elmo show us what a case of untreated Syphilis does to the mind of a man. Allow Elmo’s mistakes to be a lesson to me.
Cookie Monster: Without question, Cookie Monster has an eating disorder; he eats cookies, and then he throws them up. Cookie Monster shows us many things: that eating disorders aren’t gender specific; what a poor body image due to media pressure can do to a man/woman/monster; that a moment on the lips don’t necessarily mean a lifetime on the hips. Take me with Cookie Monster as he goes to counseling, as he talks to a Doctor about the ramifications of an eating disorder. Show me that there is a way out and that I can be happy and fat!
Grover: Look, Grover is a damn crackhead! He’s blue, skinny, always jumpy, scratches a lot, and have you ever seen him eat anything? Once upon a time, Grover taught me to count to ten, but like Grover, I too have developed a crack habit. Let Grover be my light at the end of the tunnel. What are NA meetings like, what exactly happens during rehab, what are the struggles I’ll encounter when I stop the crack? With Grover’s guidance, we can answer all these questions.
Sesame Street successfully taught me the alphabet, how to count, how to share, how not to judge others. However, those lessons were taught and learned long ago. Bring Sesame Street into the 21st Century. Allow Sesame Street to teach lessons that are pertinent to these times.
I always thought that Big Bird had some pedophilia issues....
Tom A
But I'll Bet
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Posted: 6/21/2006 10:33:31 AM
knowing the Spanish word for "water" still comes in handy occasionally, yes?
I'd like updates on The Count (OCD), Snuffleupagus (identity crisis), and Fargo North, Decoder (narcicist).
Tangent Guy
You are One . . .
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Posted: 6/21/2006 3:29:24 PM
. . . sick bastard. I laughed so hard that I absolutely snorted! What's next, Snuffleuffagus on a BBW website?
P.S. Mmm Gina - anytime, anywhere.
Drawz
Good stuff
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Posted: 6/30/2006 8:22:12 AM
I enjoyed this. i would think Cookie Monster's addictive personality would eventually force him to spiral out of control and wind up boozing and snorting lines of blow out of a hooker's ass crack. Maybe the Count could wind up scaming casinos by counting cards. Then again, yelling "ONE! ONE GLORIOUS ACE OF SPADES AHH HAA HAA!" would get him in trouble.....
Jeff
minor characters
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Posted: 7/2/2006 12:46:28 PM
Don Music could headbang with the best of 'em...he could be the spokesman for spinal research. Guy Smiley pulled a Ray Combs.
Roger Wilco
They have this
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Posted: 7/3/2006 1:28:20 PM
Sesame Street for grown-ups thing you're marvelling at ... it's called Avenue Q, and it's been off Broadway for years. Everyone should check it out. Oscar the Grouch is hooked on Internet porn; Bert (not Ernie) comes out of the closet, and you get to see muppet tits and muppet sex.
Even better than it sounds.
ur momma
Check out
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Posted: 7/3/2006 4:03:40 PM
Meet The Feebles!!! Peter Jackson's best work, like Ave Q only better
It was funnier when Maddox wrote it in 2002. That first paragraph gave me a headache; did you get a 12-year old Peruvian boy to type it for you, then translate it to English?
The Myth
Good Work
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Posted: 7/9/2006 12:09:37 PM
I love people who can critique, but can't write stuff of their own. Dude, don't listen to that guy...this was hilarious! From what I've learned in my travels; Peruvian's are hell of typers!
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