Use the form at the right to log in for more options.
Jan-Michael at the Dallas County Correctional Facility
The following are diary entries from former 70's actor, Jan-Michael Vincent. You might remember him from such films as Hooper, White Line Fever, and TV's Airwolf. This diary was given to me from a prison guard who once worked at the Dallas County Correctional Facility, where Jan-Michael Vincent served a short stint .(A Cup of Coffee)
THE FOLLOWING IS TRUE and a warning to all readers. This article may contain strong dialogue and depictions of sex and substance abuse. Parental discretion is advised.
August 9th, 2005 02:20 p.m.: What a day!
Got up early around noon, did my usual routine: breakfast, shower, shot of Johnny Walker Black, my morning cigarette, and headed out to a local happy hour at my favorite plaza bar. That’s just how I do it!
When I got there I was surprised to see Victor Fucking French already drunk and yucking it up with all the townies. I was throwing back a few just like I do every other weekend afternoon, when all of a sudden I said, “Fuck it” and decided to go up to Victor and introduce myself.
I walked to the end of the bar where he was sitting, and casually tapped him on the shoulder and asked, “Hey, you'er Victor French.” He then took a puff his unfiltered Paul-Mall, stared at me, and said, “You better believe it”.
‘HOLY SHIT!’ I was thinking, Victor French in the flesh! This was cooler than that movie I did called Big Wednesday.
I then asked, “What the hell are you doing in my plaza bar?” He stared at me with a glare in his eye that I will never forget, and said, “Come outside and we’ll handle this”. I simply told him, “Okay, French”.
He then left his stool and headed for the doors. I walked over to the bartender and said, “It’s him, it’s Victor French”. The bartender then said, “Whoopee-fucking-do! It’s Victor French, why don’t you go have sex with him.”
August 20th, 2005 03:35 am: I had sex with Victor French.
Went back to Victor’s apartment and didn’t say a word. Walked in and followed Vic’s example and quickly removed my clothes. We were both naked old men who were incredibly out of shape and close to each other. I felt myself tremble and Victor came closer. His dirty man-hands cupped my bare-ass, sending a wave of pleasure over me. Victor begged me to sip his cheap wine and I leaned forward, thinking how exciting this really was. I sipped Victor’s wine; only I sipped it from his mouth. Victor then moaned softly the whole time, and he was breathing deeply. I guess I really got into it. He continued to kiss me hard and passionately, and I seemed to melt against him. From there on, we railed the shit out of each other over and over, and over again. A love session that seemed like a marathon- both parties accepting and receiving.
Victor and I talked in-depth between intercourse sessions about everything. I got to know Victor for who he really was. We talked about his past, his career, and his ‘shit-box’ car. I liked Victor very much. Even though I never had any desire to make love to another man before, Victor made me feel like it was perfectly normal. For once in my life, things made sense as he held me in his arms throughout the night.
August 26th, 2005 03:35 am: FUCK VICTOR FRENCH! He hasn’t called me.
It’s been six days since my man-love session with Victor and he hasn’t returned one of my calls. I’ve called Victor close to ten times and haven’t heard back from him once. I started to think having sex with a guy from “Highway to Heaven” was a bad idea. I was beginning to feel used and taken advantage of. I started asking myself, “Why would Victor French do that to me and never talk to me again?” Did Victor feel what I felt, and did it mean anything to him?
I’m trying to forget about Victor like Hollywood’s forgotten about both of us.
The only thing I do know is his upcoming campaign for President of the Universe will make it hard for me to forget about him, and that one night I made love to Victor French.
Jan-Michael Vincent
Please visit Jan's Website and tell him how you feel.
Holy shit. I did not see that coming. I just shot Canadian whiskey and water through my nose and onto my keyboard. VF and JMV together at last. That was the funniest piece I've read in quite some time.
Max
damn zumock
()
Post #: 2
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 7/12/2006 4:19:08 AM
That is some mighty gay shit there brotha.
I don't know what to say... it feels dirty, but I enjoyed it. Great voice on JMV...
The Shitbox
Hilarious!
()
Post #: 3
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 7/12/2006 4:36:02 AM
Fucking hilarious! Where in the hell and why in the hell would you come up with this? Like JP, i spit up my pepsi through my nose.
Very sick, but hilarious!
Victor French and Jan M Vincent forever!
deuce
"are you matt johnson?"
()
Post #: 4
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 7/12/2006 7:24:40 AM
"then this must be yours. that was the hottest ride i've ever seen."
great showing, zumock.
Jus
Awesome, except...
()
Post #: 5
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:10:13 AM
I believed everything right up until the point where you said you talked to Victor about his career. That's just disgusting! I rather be anally raped with an A's cap by a fat nasty actor with chunks of food in his beard in the back of his Ford LTD Shitbox than talk to Victor French about his awful fucking career. I mean, what is there to say. "Dude, I loved you on that episode of Mannix." or "You really made Joe Pokrifiki come to life for me in An Officer and a Gentleman." Nope, I just don't buy it. You let me down Mr. -Michael Vincent.
VFF
Why
()
Post #: 6
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:41:48 AM
Why in the fuck does everyone think this is so funny? It is the most explicit, gay scene I have ever read. You guys work over Frat Guys for their homo-erotic tendencies yet everyone likes this shit??
This SUCKED!!
MILTON
Wow
()
Post #: 7
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:43:32 AM
I'm not sure what just happened to me.
well done.
Burt Thaxton
Wow.
()
Post #: 8
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 7/12/2006 9:43:55 AM
Graphic, hard-hitting drama.
Burt Thaxton
antony
fucking awesome!
()
Post #: 9
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:12:37 AM
this was pimptastic Zumock, it really hits home because as a child i was forced to watch "highway to heaven"....mainly because i was poor and we only had one tv. please feel free to chew on my taint as i laugh repeatedly at this article throughout the day VFF.
goatlover
perfectly normal...
()
Post #: 10
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 7/12/2006 10:20:59 AM
that was both extremely painful and sublime at the same time. I could taste wet, hot pre-vomit saliva forming in my mouth while, yet, I yearned for a cigarette afterward.
“His dirty man-hands cupped my bare-ass, sending a wave of pleasure over me.”
Use the form at the right to log in for more options.
Posts: 
