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It's gonna be a short one this week because I've been working on getting a bunch of new shirts up at Shitely's.
Last time,you guys got into a long discussion about ESPN personalities that you hate, and I promise I will take a look at the whole staff of ESPN very soon, but not today. For the record, if Steven A. Smith were a character on a sitcom instead of a real person, Jesse Jackson would be on Oprah's couch shouting "racism!"
Let's get to this edition's People Who Deserve a Vicious Beating.
JOHN AMAECHI, a retired NBA Center, has come out of closet to help sell his upcoming autobiography, Man in the Middle. I was way more surprised to hear that John Amaechi was writing an autobiography than that he was gay (he is European, after all). Who the fuck wants to read about John Amaechi? He was a stiff. What's next? Chris Dudley's Troubles from the Charity Stripe?
And about the gay thing--who cares? Straight guys don't care, and every self-respecting gay person should be appalled to hear that another gay professional athlete didn't have the balls to come out while he was still playing. What purpose does coming out now serve (aside from getting press for your boring book)? None. It does nothing to breakdown stereotypes about gay men being weak. If anything, it enforces them--especially since the man in question was John Amaechi. He was Charmin soft in the paint.
Again, I wonder why anyone would care. What's he going to talk about in the book? How hard it is to be gay in professional sports? No shit. Maybe if someone had the sand to come out while they were playing, the culture in locker rooms might change for the better. But as long as every gay dude hides it until he retires and writes his tell-all book, nothing is going to change.
So, John, save your sob story for your boyfriend. No one wants to listen to a coward bitch about how hard it was not to look at your teammates' penises in the shower.
I'm a huge basketball fan, but who the fuck is John Amaechi? I believe we should now start the list for the next pro athletes who will most likely come out of the closet:
Joakhim Noah (#1 pick in the WNBA) A-Rod (up the pooper) Bret Favre (finally admits to being Madden's boy toy) Rex Grossman (no straight man will ever respect him again anyways) Ray Lewis (murder a clear sign of misguided anger) David Beckham (he plays soccer)
Posts: 1069 Rank: 20 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
two up two down, VA
Posted: 2/8/2007 9:30:50 AM
charlie, how can you encourage your readership to go out and beat on homosexuals? i mean, the catholic league, i can understand. they are pedophiles, but a gay man?
i am appalled. maybe you should take a look at the "man in the mirror." hoooo!!
Posts: 1476 Rank: 17 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
savannah, GA
Posted: 2/8/2007 9:57:02 AM
statement deuce. everyone knows that all gay people (male or female) want to molest children. they disguise themselves by hiding in the NBA, Thoroughbred Jockeying, and of course highschool wrestling programs.
Posts: 45 Rank: 241 Joined:
12/13/2006
Location:
Salt Lake City, UT
Posted: 2/8/2007 10:04:43 AM
Everyone knows we can't have the gay in pro sports!!! When you shower with gay, you catch the gay, and it goes straight (or maybe a more roundabout, curly-que route) to your brain!! Then, before you know it, all your jeans are cuttoff above the pockets and you can't straigten your elbows when you talk! If this were to spread the the whole league, we'd have a pandemic of massive proportions! Ok, maybe just twinkie proportions.
was one of the worst basketball players ever. He was lucky to even play the 5 years he did. He was pathetic. Big deal he is gay, he never had to shower with the rest of the team b/c he never broke a sweat sitting on the bench.
Posts: 207 Rank: 57 Joined:
1/15/2007
Location:
My mom doesnt live in texas, WA
Posted: 2/8/2007 11:03:36 AM
I dont think we are to beat Amaechi just because he is gay. I think the point is that he deserves a beating because he is trying to use his gayness to sell a few more books (because his career certainly woulndt sell any), which is a bitch move.
Posts: 915 Rank: 7 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Rock Hill (sucks), SC
Posted: 2/8/2007 12:12:54 PM
amaechi deserves this beating; and it isn't because he loves to bite the cool side of the pillow. (see what I did there?) It's like charlie succinctly points out: he was a shitty player. And even then, a lot of nba fans don't even know who the shit he is. No second rate, splinter assed, negative paint prescience should ever be allowed to publish a book. (unless he nailed every hot chick ever.)
But more importantly, espn deserves the bigger beating here. Not only did the espn publish this "book," but then they're hyping it as breaking headline news on sportscenter.
For shame espn. You report on an ex fag nba "player", but you still refuse to show ufc highlights. For shame.
doesn't deserve a beating, besides, he would probably enjoy it and somehow end up getting your dick stuck in his mouth. I hate publicity stunts like this. If some non-celebrity, which I don't think he even qualifies for celebrity status, comes out of the closet they don't get a spot light on themselves, thank god.
Attention all fudge packers and carpet munchers...Stay in the closet. We give less than a shit about your sexuality. Unless your a hot super model or other beautiful woman and your going into the porn industry, then by all let us know, otherwise keep your freaky sex life to yourself. Straight people don't go around announcing their sexual orientation and changing their behavior and body language to let others know what goes on in the bedroom. Just shut the fuck up already. We don't care.
JOHN AMAECHI should be ignored and his book and other revenue generating activities should be boycotted. This will cause him and ESPN more pain and discomfort than any beating. Keep your wallet, and your penis, away from this guy.
Posts: 10 Rank: 87 Joined:
1/24/2007
Location:
Hatersville, NY
Posted: 2/8/2007 12:54:21 PM
Normally I love all the hate that you come with in these pieces...but how's your index finger? It had to be a strain phonin' it in like this. This people deserving a beatdown should'a been a autobiography. I've seen more effort in a Keanu Reeves movie. Go fetch Silky some of your wife's chili.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go back-slap that skallywag with the nice watch.
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JOHN AMAECHI, a retired NBA Center, has come out of closet to help sell his upcoming autobiography, Man in the Middle. I was way more surprised to hear that John Amaechi was writing an autobiography than that he was gay (he is European, after all). Who the fuck wants to read about John Amaechi? He was a stiff. What's next? Chris Dudley's Troubles from the Charity Stripe?
