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12/4/2005
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Burbank, U.S.
Posted: 12/31/2006
As a special treat for everyone who is stuck at work this week, here is one the best pieces from the book, "Look At My Striped Shirt!" In addition to this classic piece from The Phat Phree, there are more than 50 never-before-published essays from some of the funniest writers on the site.
I'm wearing a striped shirt as I read this, laughing my ass off...man do I suck...
raj
damn
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Post #: 77
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Posted: 3/18/2005
i'm not asking my friend to give me back my striped shirt they borrowed
bitch
idiot
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Post #: 78
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Posted: 3/18/2005
hot karl is fucking illiterate. and yes fake imperialism is a homo.
George
LOSER
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Post #: 79
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Posted: 3/18/2005
If Golden Tee had a joystick, you might have gotten off earlier in the night and gone home happy. Well at least you played with its ball and slurped some stinky gyro sauce later on. Striped shirts are for fags.
Enrico Pallazo
Odds
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Post #: 80
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Posted: 3/18/2005
Fake Imperialism/Getreal is definitely a woman or gay. Or both.
Good work, Polk.
this girlie
"chicks dig money (and guys dig chicks)"
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Post #: 81
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Posted: 3/18/2005
yeah, we're after the same thing because we're all exactly the same. please.
CO
funny
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Post #: 82
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Posted: 3/18/2005
Can you write one up making fun of black men's stereotypes at da' club? That would be just as funny.
Kippy
Striped Shirts
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Post #: 83
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Posted: 3/18/2005
I hate all striped shirts, as well as the people who wear them. And don't you dare drink Red Bull in my presence, I will whup your ass! Great work, Polk.
Office
Sean!
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Post #: 84
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Posted: 3/18/2005
This guy literally works in my office.. no shit.. and he's wearing the same shirt (diff color but still!).. too much!!
I took a pic and sent it to the person who sent me the email with this link. I knw she's gonna trip!
Sarah
chach!!!
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Post #: 85
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Posted: 3/18/2005
this is the best thing i have read. my friends and i cringe at these assholes!!! thank god you recognize the chach factor. Mike Polk...did you go to Kent? Your name sounds familiar...
Oral Roberts
Pediatric Gynecologist
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Post #: 86
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Posted: 3/18/2005
you forgot about shovering his quivering hard cock into his infant nephew's ass while eating Gourmet cheese.
PC
PC
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Post #: 87
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Posted: 3/18/2005
Awesome!!!!!
not quite
COLLARS UP
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Post #: 88
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Posted: 3/18/2005
True about the homos in striped shirts, but real men wear pastel golf shirts, collars up of course. And the anchors on our jackets, well boys those are family chrests.
kARL Hungus
Shapiro Style
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Post #: 89
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Posted: 3/19/2005
If you wear a striped shirt out make sure your wearinjg a condom, more importanlty make sure it is a lamb skin condom, they provide pleasure for all parties. Especially those that you pay for. I love Thailand.
dwall341
GIBBS
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Post #: 90
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Posted: 3/19/2005
that is TRUTH!! hilarious. well put.
jwall.
Matty
huh?
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Post #: 91
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Posted: 3/19/2005
Hey wait a second, this is exactly what I was saying last night...have u guys been following me?
mj
party blouses
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Post #: 92
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Posted: 3/19/2005
boys in blouses.......a dime a dozen. I think that was me trying to dance with my friends last night when that guy in the strip shirt tried to dance with us while doing the white-guy's over-bite.....impressive. couldn't feel the buldge---but my, what a turn on that would be!!
Mike V
"Chief"
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Post #: 93
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Posted: 3/19/2005
Where were the cameras? I dont remember signing anything to release my "night" to the media.
Coon Snatch
"Those Guys"
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Post #: 94
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Posted: 3/19/2005
I know a group of assholes that all act the part... They also stand around by the bar and play "credit card roulette" and have some hot chick pull the cards from their pockets...
"I'm not afraid..."
Dudley Dawson
triangle haircut...
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Post #: 95
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Posted: 3/20/2005
These are the guys who all have that same triangle haircuts and are wearing striped shirts and have their eyebrows waxed.
Tim Moore
2DAFLOORBOOTSY
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Post #: 96
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Posted: 3/20/2005
Polk! Polk! Polk...The legions scream in unison. Ohh yeahh, these bitches are gonna get a taste of some of this man-meat by the night's end, that's right. These sloots are gonna have my acqua di gio stink all over them! Hell yeah! Heaven forbid my softball team lost tonight or that asshole sippin' his vodka is gonna get a taste of pissed off served hot! We're the everlasting assholes whose testosterone-fueled alpha-maled egos slobber over on the weekends and spill out with every crunk juice breath we take! Whatchu lookin' at? This is the home of the head-butt and we'll kick your ass and 10 monkeys that look like you! DUDES! DUDES! DUDES! CHICKS! BEER! DUDES! CHICKS! BEER!
WANGO
future jr.v.p.
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Post #: 97
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Posted: 3/20/2005
GOOD STUFF! I guarantee all bridge & tunnelers and murray hillers are going "Can you believe this fuckin guy (Polk)?" in unison after reading this.
A Chick
Dead on EXCEPT 2 things
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Post #: 98
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Posted: 3/20/2005
"oh my, I saw him times 3 last night". Only inaccuracy is that his shirt should be tucked out and maybe that his hair should be a little darker.
yakuth
yawn........
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Post #: 99
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Posted: 3/20/2005
HELP .............IM SURROUNDED BY ASSHOLES ....................TAKE ME AWAY FROM ALL THESE HUMANOIDS .................... DISCUSSING THE RELEVANCE OF A STRIPPED SHIRT ..............PLEASE!!! KILL ME NOW!!! NOT FUNNY OR INTERESTING..............PLEASE DEATH, COME TO ME ....... NO SIGNS OF ANY INTELLIGENT LIFE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DO THE GALAXY A FAVOR AND ANNIHILATE YOURSELVES WITH THE BIGGEST FUCKIN' BOMB YOU CAN THINK OF ................DARKIES,GAYS,NON-CATHOLICS,LIBERALS GO FIRST..................
poon hound
reality
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Post #: 100
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Posted: 3/21/2005
A real man would have banged the fat chicks then made fun of them!!!!
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