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Posted: 7/17/2005
It�s Top 50 time again! That�s right, it�s the second week of the month already, and goddamn, do we have treat for you.
Our writers went to the lab to scientifically uncover the 50 people most in need of a vicious beating. We aren�t talking about a run-of-the-mill beat down. We are talking about an �I�m gonna call a couple of hard, pipe hittin� niggas to come down here and work on the homes with a pair of pliers and blow torch� kind of beating. We are talking about the kind o...
10. My old boss, who refered to himself as GOD...seriously. 9. France 8. Bono, noone cares that this overrated prick and his gay ass band wnats to save the world. 7. Jerry Jones. No expanation needed. 6. Democrats, tired of losing yet assholes? 5. France...needs to be on here twice. 4. NY Yankees, have bought every championship they have won. 3. Women over 35, you are all past your prime...give it up. 2. Mark Barnett for making all those GAY ass reality shows my wife makes me sit through every fucking night 1 Me for watching them...Shoot me please!
greg
You're playing it safe
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Post #: 27
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Posted: 7/18/2005 11:58:50 AM
George W Bush needs to be there: Two years ago the man landed on an aircraft carrier in a flysuit and stood in front of a "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED" banner. First of all, that cokehead dipshit was too incompetent to even show up for National Gaurd duty while most others of his generation were being shipped off to real battle in Vietnam. And he has the audacity to tell insurgents to 'bring it on' while he can't even stick his head out in public in his OWN country without a half-mile radius being blocked off by the Sercret Service?
Like Kenny Lay, I say the family members of all of the troops killed in Iraq should get to kick him in the nuts.
BO'R
One-Nutted Prick
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Post #: 28
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Posted: 7/18/2005 12:20:43 PM
Lance Armstrong. Not only did you lose half your manhood, but you also had the ball to leave your wife and kids. This oversized prick takes off on his wife after she stood by his side during all of his cancer treatments. I bet she even wiped this guys ass at some point and he left her for some talentless whore. Lance, you truly need to get the piss beat out of you.
Jeff
YOU MISSED THE BIGGEST FUCKTARD OF ALL
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Post #: 29
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Posted: 7/18/2005 12:51:46 PM
Where the hell is Ben Affleck on your list? I've seen Czechoslovakian Horse Fisting porn with better performances than his in Pearl Harbor.
d
nice BO'R...
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Post #: 30
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Posted: 7/18/2005 1:16:14 PM
Lance has won the most difficult and enduring race in the world for the last six years, AFTER he beat cancer. Yeah, he needs an ass-kicking... he is currently administering one to himself on OLN. wake up. 1/2 of marriages end in divorce, move to france you unamerican prick.
dan.d.
my question
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Post #: 31
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Posted: 7/18/2005 1:16:59 PM
where's the jokes?
adam
additions
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Post #: 32
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Posted: 7/18/2005 1:30:40 PM
Vicente Fox (President of Mexico for you uneducated bastards) Fred Durst Vin Diesel (excluding his performance in Saving Private Ryan, which was Par) Jacques Chirac Courney Love Owen Wilson (this guy is a douchebag..and not remotely funny..in anything) Gary Coleman Ted Kennedy (should have been in the top 5..a rich bitch fat murdering alcoholic from FUCKIN' BOSTON?! In the bag...)
Chad Whaley
Please make this 51
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Post #: 33
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Posted: 7/18/2005 1:34:12 PM
Seriously, I approve of this list, but really need to see Carrot Top in there. If America were the land of people who need beatings, Carrot Top is the Christopher Columbus. He might not have actually been the first to discover the land, but as far as I know, gets all the credit.
Jay
A couple that got overlooked
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Post #: 34
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Posted: 7/18/2005 1:41:04 PM
Hilary Clinton - This feminazi douchetard makes all women and democrats look bad, and considering how politicians go, thats pretty fucking hard
All celebrities that get involved in politics - just because you looked good on film, doesn't mean anyone gives a shit what you truly care about. Arrogant boners.
The gottis - I dont care how these guido fucks grow up. Just because your family was all mobbed out doesnt mean you should get a tv show. They make all italians look bad.
Tony
a couple more
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Post #: 35
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Posted: 7/18/2005 1:47:37 PM
What about Jay Mariotti and Leonard Little, esp Little. Asshole kills a lady because he was driving drunk, then a few years later gets pulled over and fails all field tests, refuses to take a breathalizer and gets acquitted because the officer evidently didn't give him proper instructions. Mariotti (along with Skip Bayless) should be locked in a room with Mike Tyson and Jose Canseco and have to repeat all the sensationalist garbage they've spoken about the two over the past few years. Oh yeah, Canseco needs beaten too, but I'm not gonna be the one to try it.
Jon
Don't forget...
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Post #: 36
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Posted: 7/18/2005 2:35:00 PM
My neighbor (to the east, not you, Klaus); all truck drivers; postal employees; people who write checks in the FUCKING 10-ITEMS-OR-LESS LANE!!!!!!!--I'm in this lane because I am in a fucking hurry, you stupid bitch!!!!! Yeah, that's right, now fill in the register, cary the two, there you go.; the garbage man who has refused to dump my recycling bin for the last 18 months.
Jeff
Roenick?
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Post #: 37
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Posted: 7/18/2005 2:42:15 PM
What about Roenick? Any moron who basically quits his job because $8M a year is not fair deserves to get beat like a $2M ho!
Brian
Fuckin Subway
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Post #: 38
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Posted: 7/18/2005 2:52:01 PM
What about Jared the Subway guy? You can't tell me he deserves a serious beatin, I would even give it to him if I ever saw him in a Subway eating his "Veggie Sub". Sadly this will never happen becuase thanks to Jared I can no longer bring myself to eat there. Thanks a lot fat ass!
Samantha
more idiots
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Post #: 39
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Posted: 7/18/2005 2:55:56 PM
1) Paris Hilton 2) Senator Delay 3) Fred Durst 4) Carrot Top
Joe
Beat Down
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Post #: 40
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Posted: 7/18/2005 2:57:10 PM
Rush Limbaugh Michael Jackson Fans Michael Jackson Good Charlotte Ashton Kushner Elizabeth Taylor
Javier
Punch in the Balls
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Post #: 41
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Posted: 7/18/2005 3:04:52 PM
1. Duke fans 2. Coach K 3. Dick Vitale
Boner Stabone
Off the top of my head
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Post #: 42
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Posted: 7/18/2005 3:29:52 PM
Those not on the list in need of a beatdown:
Joe Morgan (Just plain sucks) Pedro Gomez (involved in symbiotic relationship w/ Barry Bonds- Bonds gives exclusive info to Gomez, Gomez is allowed to swing from Bonds' nutsack) Sean Salisbury (Worse commentator than NFL QB, if that's possible) Teddy Atlas (Looks like he already got one)
Nate
Duke
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Post #: 43
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Posted: 7/18/2005 3:30:56 PM
Anything related to Duke? Their fans, students, Coach K, Dick Vitale, the ACC.
Deez Nuttz
A Few More for You
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Post #: 44
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Posted: 7/18/2005 3:44:36 PM
The staff of US Magazine
William Bennett
Alan Keyes
Al Gore
Jay Leno's writers
Frisco Ho
The Guy In the Photo
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Post #: 45
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Posted: 7/18/2005 3:51:30 PM
over the article - isn't that Tim Robbins? He has a size 14 brogains ass kickin' coming for being so damn smarmy, making a bunch of crappy flicks, and actin' like he knows something about politics (and you can keep your skanky wife, too).
I disagree with only two of the comments:
1) Women over 35 are very grateful and not very demanding
2) Lance's wife left him because he was too consumed with bike racing (what did you expect, b_tch?).
JC
FUCK THE FRENCH!
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Post #: 46
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Posted: 7/18/2005 4:31:49 PM
BEAT THAT ASS FOR BEING FOR BEING THE MOST ARROGANT COUNTRY IN THE WORLD AND MEAN WHILE NOT EVEN BEING ABLE TO MAINTAIN THE PERSONAL HYGIENE LEVEL OF A MONKEY! I HATE THOSE BITCHES.
David
Serious Ommissions
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Post #: 47
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Posted: 7/18/2005 4:39:01 PM
Rush Limbaugh. It's fun to turn to his show and see how long it takes him to either say something totally stupid or untrue. Record is 1:36.
Dick Vitale. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE shut the hell up. Why must we continually be tormented by this mindless asshole?
Julia Roberts. Isn't she old enough now to where she doesn't have to get all the parts that could be going to Jessica Alba? More Jessica Alba!
George W. Bush What an ass. How can a guy who has no idea what is going on answer every question like "don't you get it?"
John Kerry. ...caused us to have more Bush by being such a lame candidate.
Jen
BOO-YA!
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Post #: 48
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Posted: 7/18/2005 4:59:36 PM
so many assholes, so little time. I was thinking that Stuart Scott has to make the top 10 at least. The man just gets under my skin after every syllable uttered from his retarded mouth.
K-Diddy
KICK TO THE NUT!!
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Post #: 49
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Posted: 7/18/2005 5:12:05 PM
I completely agree with B'OR. I can ride a bike. I can get cancer. Doing one after beating the other does not make me a role model or a great American. However, leaving my wife and children who supported my cancer-ridden, bike-riding ass throughout the whole ordeal does earn me the title of "Gigantic Prick." Doing all this for a homely, no-talent 4th grade music teacher who fellated her way to the top earns me a relentless beat-down. This is Lance. Live Strong my ass and keep pedalling, pal. Oh, and not licking the remaining nut of a prefessional bike-rider does not make one un-American or a prick. No one cares about the Tour, no one cares about France, and no one cares about 'professional cycling.' How did everyone on this message board miss the addition of Paris Hilton? Weak, pretty weak.
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