Use the form at the right to log in for more options.
The solution to all our problems
The following proposition is a last minute addition for the consideration of Los Angeles County voters. Approval relies solely on votes made in the comment section below and does not require that voters reside within Los Angeles County (or even the United States). Please read the proposition carefully prior to voting.
Summary
Proposition K-9 is a last minute ballot measure that seeks to implement seventeen (17) dog tracks across Los Angeles County, primarily on the premises of underused facilities within the existing public school system, such as junior high soccer fields and special education classrooms.
Why dog tracks?
Why not dog tracks? Greyhound racing has supported local economies in Florida for years and gambling commission pundits feel that it is high time that Los Angeles County gets on the “gravy train”. Winning increases morale and losing teaches humility, two things sorely lacking in the community today.
Prop K-9 will also provide a much needed boost to the greyhound breeding industry, which has been crippled by local politicians whose dogmatic stance against legalizing greyhound racing in the county have forced tens of twenties of tax paying breeders out of the state. This initiative aims to bring them back.
Who will fund the construction?
Municipal bond issues that will be backed by the full faith and credit of the LA County taxpayers in the amount of two billion eight hundred fifty million dollars ($2,850,000,000) will fund Prop K-9. The track owners will in turn promise to share revenues from parking receipts with the local school districts, on whose premises they will be operating. Any profits collected from the spread on wagers (including satellite and offshore wagers), alcohol sales and vending will go directly to the track owners and will be considered for various philanthropic endeavors, but may also be used for the purchase of elegant vacation homes outside the reach of the Internal Revenue Service.
Will my taxes go up?
Because financing of the initial construction will be through muni bond issues, taxpayers will not face any up front tax increase. However, in order to assure that the bonds are paid off in a timely manner, the county will be increasing property taxes by a mere 0.6%. It is worth noting that renters, who make up the majority of the dog track participants, will face no tax increase.
Who do you like in the 5th?
The writers of this proposition are not able to give recommendations for wagers, though there is nothing that disallows them from suggesting taking a really close look at any dog trained by Chuck Bass.
Let them play, let them play...
Opinions
In favor of Prop K-9
The simple fact is that this community cannot continue without the financial and emotional support of dog tracks. Despite the negative publicity, the writers of Prop K-9 have not turned a blind eye on the potential problems that this legislation will cause. That is clearly evidenced by the .05% of profits that they have pledged to various charities that care for the abused, battered and sexually assaulted. Gambler’s Anonymous will also receive funding in the form of free buffets on the premises every Wednesday. Mookie Kingman, Florida based dog track owner and part time Los Angeles resident
Fact: People love to gamble. Fact: People love dogs. Therefore, everyone loves to gamble on dogs. There is no greater moment in sport than when that starter guy with the windbreaker and the mustache swings open the gate and those dogs go flying after that fake rabbit. I never feel so alive as I do at that moment. Irv Tanner, Wilson High School geometry teacher and degenerate gambler
The special interests such as churches and teacher’s unions want you to think that Prop K-9 is a bad thing just because we’re not letting them get their hand in the cookie jar. The simple fact is they’ve got enough cash coming their way. The churches have their collection plates and guilt trips and the schools are in on the biggest hustle going, the state lottery. And now the schools don’t want to allow gambling on their campuses. Can you say double standard? Lenny Gooch, co-author of Prop K-9 and greyhound enthusiast
Opposed to Prop K-9
This “legislation” is nothing but a ploy by a small minority to bring a filthy and disgusting “sport” into our community, and on the premises of our public schools no less. Should this proposition pass, there will no doubt be a significant spike in assault, battery and rape. In fact, studies show that counties with dog tracks have a 300% higher murder rate, with rape only slightly trailing at 250%. A “no” vote on K-9 is a “yes” vote for the future of the greater Los Angeles area. Capt. Paul Emerson, LA County Sheriff’s Department and Big Brother volunteer
It is an outrage that anyone would ever consider voting yes on such an obvious one-sided proposition. It is clearly an attempt by the powers that be in the greyhound racing world to sneak one by the voters of LA County. Not only will it raise property taxes, but it will bring to the surface an “element” that has up until now confined itself in the gutters of skid row. If you want to contract Hepatitis C, then by all means, vote “yes” on K-9. Otherwise, help get rid of the disease that is K-9 and vote “no”. Larry Paulson, minority owner, Hollywood Park and Thoroughbred Weekly Publisher
My six-year old son was mauled by a greyhound last year and is still struggling to live on life support. Stop these murderers from coming to our county and vote “no” on K-9. Who knows, maybe hearing that K-9 got voted down will be just what little Jimmy needs to pull through. Vince Aldrich, Palmdale resident and father of three
Vote yes or they'll destroy me
Fiscal Impact:
Increase in property taxes of nearly $1 billion annually for the specified purpose outlined above. All excess funds will be used to pay for the upkeep of the tracks and to support the salaries and lifestyles of the track owners. Unknown state and local operations costs may increase due to the overcrowding of prisons, homeless shelters and abuse victim centers. Coupled with unemployment costs and depleted resources from the public school system, taxpayer costs could potentially be in the hundreds of millions of dollars annually.
Please vote in the comment section below. Los Angeles County officials have generously offered to consider any amendments proposed and seconded below, so long as they receive a majority vote.
Get ready to place your bets Los Angeles, the greyhounds are a-comin’!
Gotta vote no. LA has higher priorities, i.e a football team and more strip clubs.
Eugene
Hoffman
()
Post #: 4
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 11/6/2006 10:09:32 AM
This was way below average...
I vote for you to get your head out of you ass and get back to your comedic roots.
Grade: C-
The American Educational System
Speaking of "head up one's ass"
()
Post #: 5
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 11/6/2006 2:56:58 PM
Eugene, we have established that "C" is the average grade. Therefore, when you say something is "way below average" one would think it would be less than merely a "C-".
In short, you're a fucking idiot.
The American Educational System
Furthermore
()
Post #: 6
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 11/6/2006 2:59:22 PM
We endorse Prop K-9. Our teachers need to gamble and chain smoke during lunch period after having dealt with all of these damn bastard children all morning.
deuce
american educational system
()
Post #: 7
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 11/6/2006 3:16:08 PM
keep in mind, that when heuge's parent's were praising him for a "c+" - they misused (understandably) the term "way above average"
otherwise, great point, and great article.
Eugene
American Education System
()
Post #: 8
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 11/6/2006 3:57:58 PM
Your point is so deliciously ironic and retarded, I even chuckled softly in my dark cubicle, as opposed to my usual loud weeping.
Only morons such as yourslef consider "C" an average grade. And you arrive at that average by incorporating people who get F's into your formula. If you're an F student, you won't be a student for much longer because--get this, dipshit--you'll FAIL OUT. The only grades that matter are D through A. Therefore, C is below average and C- is way below average. Actually, D students don't count either, because they're idiots and will eventually get F's anyway, so we can exclude them. Lesson learned, bitch.
Tangent Guy
I Vote "Yes"
()
Post #: 9
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 11/6/2006 4:23:52 PM
but then I think L.A. blows (except for the great weather and hot, easy bims).
Max
I'm going to vote yes
()
Post #: 10
Posts: Rank: n/a Joined:
n/a
Location:
n/a
Posted: 11/6/2006 6:49:04 PM
I loved how the opponents were as self serving as the proponents. Awesome job with the formatting and writing style -- perfect parody of the California Ballot Initiative system. Seventeen dog tracks ... ha!
Use the form at the right to log in for more options.
Posts: 
