One of the Olson twins smokes... is it me or is that really hot? I mean, I remember watching "Full House": Baby Michelle didn't smoke. Yet, here she is now...or here they are now...all grown up and smoking. I would so love for either of them to suck my dick!
I just brought up a good point; I mean, I'm about to bring up a good point. Whenever you see little kids stop and think: That girl that you were railing last night, the one whose asshole you spit on while you were fucking (I'm allowed to cuss, right?) her doggie style - she used to be a little girl. I mean, she used to play with Barbies and sit on Santa's lap and shit...
My computer gets a lot of pop-ups. This is most likely due to the excessive amount of internet porn I look at.
If I were a homosexual (It's not politically correct to call them fags, queers, or butt pirates anymore), I'd go out with a rich old guy. Seriously, what's the point of being gay if you don't have a sugar daddy?
I've been watching "Laguna Beach" on MTV. Sweet god, how hot are those girls? I mean, I dated a girl from Laguna Beach once...she had some huge tits, but she was nowhere as hot as the girls on this show are. Is it some unwritten law that all rich girls have to be hot? You know what; even the guys on that show are good looking. This proves my point (A point that I am officially making for the first time), that rich people can afford to have their childrens' genes altered to make them hot.
How cool would globes be if the world were shaped like a pyramid or like the Superdome?
I think I'm going to start a cult. I don't have a name yet, don't have a doctrine yet, don't have a mythology to base it off of yet. I do know that superhero costumes will be involved, at least one Elvis impersonator, 3 gallons of baby oil, incredibly hot women (By women I mean hookers, hookers who bring hand sanitizer, gum, and were never once a firefighter), and at least one person named Rex Volcano.
I just changed my mind; instead of a cult I'm going to make a porn movie. On second thought, porn movies don't receive tax exempt status, religions do. I may make a porno about a man who wants to start a cult; because I just realized I don't pay taxes anyway.
Today I went to the library; at the library I did two things. read up on the life of Hugh Hefner and studied the space time continuum... for you laymen out there - I studied time travel. My master plan is to create a time machine, go back in time, and ensure that Hugh Hefner is never born. Then follow the exact steps to precision that Hef took to create Playboy.
I went to Costco a couple of weeks ago...there was a table with food on it, a sign which read, "Try Me", and a 70 year-old woman named Mildred standing behind the table, (If you now sense where I'm going with this one, you're right). I walked up to the table, grabbed Mildred's right breast, grabbed her left buttocks, and kissed her. I'm no longer allowed in Costco, or nursing homes.
I think that after I invent my Time Machine, I'm going to travel back in time and study the martial arts with Bruce Lee.
Do you ever wonder who invented blow jobs? I mean, who was the first person to ever go, hey I bet that dick in my mouth will taste good? Do you think that eating a chick out was invented the same exact time that the blowjob was invented? Do you really invent those things, or would it be considered trying for the first time?
I have a natural fear of midgets. However, I really want to fuck a midget. I mean, how much fun would it be to have a midget fucking you on top while you're spinning her?
Consider this a public service announcement for all children 12 and younger: Unicorns do not exist! Forget that line of shit your parents have been feeding you for years: Once upon a time there were such things as Unicorns. However, one day God decided to flood the Earth and the poor Unicorns overslept its alarm clock and it missed Noahs Ark. Bullshit, kid! Heres my theory Once upon a time an albino freak horse was born with a mutant horn growing out of its head. Some asshole thought that itd be a cool idea to market this albino horse as a whole new species; thus, the Unicorn. So that pretty little Unicorn you have plastered on your Trapper Keeper and backpacksin truth its an abomination of nature.
MMMM midgets Posted: 8/6/2006by: Dan Midgets give the best head, they dont even have to get on their knees And This Jake ponders Posted: 7/10/2006by: Jake Gyllenhaal Why Tangent Guy continues to fight his urges... Still Another Jake Ponders Posted: 7/10/2006by: Jake the Snake Who forgot to put Tangent Guy down for his nap.
Could someone get him a juice box, please? Jake Number Two Wonders Posted: 7/10/2006by: A Different Jake Why Tangent Guy can't just accept the size of his dick for what it is (or, more precisely, what it isn't). Wow, Tangent Guy Posted: 7/10/2006by: Homer Simpson You really got us good. You are very clever and I don't think I'll ever recover from that slam you just made on all of us. In case you aren't picking up on this, I'm being sarcastic... Just a suggestion Posted: 7/10/2006by: Tangent Guy If you lay off the crystal meth you might be able to hang onto a thought for more than the twelve seconds it took you to type up each mini-rant.
On the other hand, after reading the posts, I see that you reached your intended audience, so never mind.
No! Posted: 7/10/2006by: T. Henry He is not French. He is an Algerian terrorist. Blow me, Zizou. Provo Posted: 7/10/2006by: Z. Zidane's Speechwriter How about we go with "guinea," instead? Fuckin Frenchman..Zidane.. Posted: 7/10/2006by: Provo Zidane...its WOP!!!! And you cant call him that in Germany...or even out of the states....it doesnt mean anything...well, I guess you could call him that then, but...where did you learn that term....
wait a minute...you're not really....you're not really French are you?!?!?!? Deuce Posted: 7/10/2006by: Provo I agree with you about the fakers......there werent too many of those in the game yesterday...well, not the ones for a breather...
-The fakers, however, are just playing like in any other sport...in soccer it always happens in the box in order to get a PK. Thats how France go their first goal of the game...there was NO contact, but a good sell.....
Just like in basketball...(i.e. Stockton), they sell a flop for the free throws...
