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Are you ready for some football?!
Here are 10 reasons why the Super Bowl has jumped the shark. (A term which ironically has also jumped the shark).
10) Circ du Soleil - What the hell is with dudes in banana hammocks flying through the air for 20 minutes before the game? And the band in dorky Colts and Bears uniforms were great--especially since the flute player could have probably thrown better than Rex Gross-man.
9) Budweiser Commercials - I get it. You guys are funny with your :30 A.D.D. YouTube frat videos. Your history with frogs, horses, and dogs is well known. Now add gorillas. I heard that two dudes made amateur commercials this year but I couldn't figure out just which ones they did.
8) Coke's Black History Ad - What's with Coca-Cola and their multiple salutes to black history month? We get it, you love all peeps. Especially the poor minorities you pay $.22 a day to work in your bottling plants in Indonesia. Halfway through the black history lesson, I was half expecting that Coke was launching a new grape soda.
C'mere and get yer beatin'!
And speaking of the whole race issue, how come the media isn't making a big deal about Lovie Smith being the first African-American head coach to lose a Super Bowl?
7) Human Interest Retreads - I get it...Thomas Jones came from a coal mine. Peyton grew up playing football and his daddy is Archie Manning. Tank Williams packs heat. The stories are more tired than me in the third quarter after burger number six. Why not drop in some interesting pieces like all the ho's Devin Hester tapped when he went back to The U last week, or that Mike Vanderjagt shit in Adam Vinatieri's locker on his way out of Indy, or that Billy Joel took "the under" on the National Anthem, hurried through in 1:33, and made his appearance a $200 Million payout thanks to Vegas.
6) Hair Coloring Ads - A goddamn minute-long female hair coloring commercial?! So we now have to appease the ladies during the holiest of male bonding events? I know Sheryl Crow is shaped like a small boy but that doesn't constitute a male interest. Save that shit for the Oscars or the Grammys.
5) Multiple Promos for the Grammys - Wow, twenty acts by people I've never heard of, and they are going to match Justin Timberlake up with an unknown amateur singer? Well, at least the unknown civilian won't be the least talented person on the stage.
4) & or $ or @ or whatever the keyboard symbol is for Prince - I hear he's such a talented musician and writer but I guess I don't get it. Not that a five-foot-tall, purple dude in high heels doesn't make me think of football, but I guess with lyrics like "Let's Go Crazy" and "Party Like It's 1999" maybe the NFL though he was singing a theme song for the Cincinnati Bengals? Actually, all of the Bengals had left the stadium when they heard the promo that The Police were back.
3) Domestic Violence - They say that the most domestic violence occurs on Super Bowl Sunday. If I'm a Bears fan in the 4th quarter and my wife is wearing #8, I beat her senseless too.
2) Rain on the Lenses - Why was half the game blurry? With all of the billions spent on televising the game, couldn't someone spring for a $1.00 rag to wipe the camera with? Or did they accidentally use the lens reserved for Barbara Walters?
1) Peyton Manning was the MVP - Shocker. Even if he threw a bunch of picks and played like crap (see: Rex Grossman) but the Colts still won, Ambassador Peyton would still be up there claiming his trophy and crappy car. But thank goodness he won a new ride because he might not be able to afford one otherwise. But maybe he can give it to his dad because old guys like Cadillac. Who's his dad again?
you all remember this much about the game. im going to have to rewatch clips of it to remind myself. Every year I say that im not going to start drinking so early, every year I lose.
I thought I was familiar with that term. Either I am not, or this article was badly mistitled.
*Maybe* the Circ de Soleil one and the Haircolor one, but that's it, in terms of "jumping the shark." The rest were reasons that the Super Bowl has grown tired, predictable, and sucky (which happened, oh about 25-30 years ago). Not shark jumping.
I think that's my point. The Super Bowl has emphatically NOT jumped the shark. Not during the cognitive memories, of most of us, anyway.
It might have once been a football game first, and a media/scoal event second. But not for a looooooooong time. Easily the most overrated sporting event in the world. Possibly the most overrated annual event period.
This is probably the gayes thing I have ever said but I saw a Circ du Soleil "O" in Vegas. It was actually very entertaining. It was more than a bunch of fancy pants pretty boy fags dancing around in spandex and swinging from ropes. The stage was made of several "floating" platforms that could sink and create a giant swiming pool. If you can afford the $150 plus tickets its definately worth seeing. I can't vouch for the other 15 or so but "O" was pretty cool. In my defense, it was for my honeymoon and my wife really wanted to go.
And Tom A is right. This was not the year the SB "jumped the shark". I don't know if "jumping back" is possible at this point but it couldn't hurt if they at least tried.
Posts: 207 Rank: 37 Joined:
1/15/2007
Location:
My mom doesnt live in texas, WA
Posted: 2/6/2007 11:45:49 AM
someone mentions that Cirque du Solei piece of crap before the game. That was the most horrible thing I have ever seen. Thank god I was at home and not in the stands, I was able to bury my head deep enough into buffalo wings to avoid direct eye contact with the colts and bears drummers. I would rather get my leg humped by a platypus then go through that again.
Posts: 176 Rank: 45 Joined:
12/14/2006
Location:
Pittsburgh, PA
Posted: 2/6/2007 11:53:13 AM
What is prince anyways? a buttermilky-american? His molestorstache seriously fucking freaks me out, and I'm 31, go about 250, live 2,000 miles away, and have a door that locks, a gun, and a Burt Reynold's era trans am. Thanks, NFL, for bringing him into my home. Now I have to fucking disinfect everything. I don't care if he fucked Carmen Electra a long time ago, I swear he looked at me funny, and I have it on tivo!
"Did Coke just run another ad for being black?"
The media over hypes and beats everything to death, but in all seriousness, there has to be a first time for everything, and Tony Dungy is a total class act, there should be more humans like him, whatever color they are.
But I heard that there was a guy that raised the $2.6 mill for a commercial during the SB so he could propose to his GF on national TV. He paid the money, made the commercial and they didn't air it. If this is a bullshit rumor please let me know so I can punch my co-worker in the throat but if its true I hope he sues the ever living shit out of them. He may not deserve to win since it was a faggy move to propose on a SB commercial and he wasted all that money when he could have skipped town, moved to Mexico and lived like a fucking king and had a different smokin hot seniorita every night
Posts: 693 Rank: 3 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
Los Angeles, CA
Posted: 2/6/2007 1:18:18 PM
Yeah, I heard that too. What I heard was that he was trying to get someone to sponsor him, and eventually someone did (although I have no idea why any company in their right mind would do such a thing) but that is where all the details get fuzzy. Some people say he filmed it and it never ran, some people say the company backed out after the initial surge of good PR, some people say there just wasn't enough time to get it filmed edited, and a spot gauranteed in the most sought after commecial time of the year. I guess the world may never know.
Posts: 1191 Rank: 5 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 2/6/2007 2:18:55 PM
The fact that we look to the Super Bowl commercials to brng something to our lives is pretty disappointing. If you're waiting for a commercial then you need to reevaluate things.
The proposal guy probably got dumped a week ago. He'll be releasing a sex tape soon though. It'll run at halfitme of the Pro Bowl.
Prince is a quality musician, but yes, he is kind of a freak show.
Jeff Saturday should have been MVP. That would ahve been awesome. Even Bears fans would have enjoyed that. Maybe not...
I'm working in Chicago today and let's just say Sexy Rexy better hang with Tank Johnson for backup if he leaves the house. Not happy people...
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