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Look at my striped pants! Fucking look at them! I got these babies during the Eisenhower administration! When men were men and negroes were like men, but mostly not. I'm hungry! No, wait...I'm cold! Where the hell am I, anyway? Do you want to hear a story about when I played gin rummy with Lon Chaney in an elevator? Where the hell are you going? Stay here! I'm lonely!
I'm getting the old gang back together! You should have seen us in WWII! We were like killing machines! I hate the Japanese! Shut the hell up! You don't know what it was like--there was plenty of action in Canada!
I would kick your ass right now if Matlock weren't on! Are you listening to me? I used to beat the shit out of people like the damned Internets! You ungrateful faggot--pass me the crossword puzzle! Who the fuck is Jack Robinson? The day they let a black man play for the Dodgers is the day they put a man on the moon! Who is Buzz Aldrin? Sounds like a queer! You're trying to trick me again!
I want Harvey Wallbangers at the country club! It's a drink, dipshit! I swear by these striped pants I will end your life if you don't put it back on Matlock! Why is a Jap sitting there eating hot dogs so fast? What channel is this? What is this world coming to? Next thing you know, they'll start handing out talk shows to lesbians!
Why don't you ever take me out to fondle women? You're a social worker--let's be social! "Old Jumbo" still has some fight left! I want to have sex! I have a boner! No, that's just my colon. It's packed tighter than a train car to Auschwitz. I'm cold again! Bring me my Metamucil! Nevermind, I think I just crapped myself! I want Olive Garden! It's 4:30 in the afternoon! I'm starving!
My grandson won't stand for this!
I didn't fall asleep! I was resting my eyes! Yes, for 45 minutes! What do you mean we already went to the Olive Garden? You passed out with your face in the chicken parmesan! I'd never do that! Lies! Waitresses can't get restraining orders! Women can't vote! Ha! Gotcha! What the shit is a women's lib? Sounds like a new dance for gay people! Why don't you leave me alone and go dance the "Women's Lib" somewhere in a jail where they keep all the dang homos! No, come back--it's dark in here! Do I have a last name?
Damn, where'd I put my teeth? Because I'm going to bite you in a second! That's right pussy--call security! My grandson will be here any minute to thrash your little ass into the 21st century! Horseshit! If it's the 21st century, where are all the fucking robots? That's what I thought, you little prick--just because I've got a pile of my own feces in my hand doesn't mean I'm "crazy!" It means I'm locked and loaded for action! Didn't I say I was hungry? Make it happen, boy!
Listen, you uppity buttfucker, if I didn't have on these priceless striped pants on my person, I'd shove my whole leg right up your ass this instant!
When I find my pants you're fucked!
What? What in the shit do you mean I'm not wearing any pants? Oh, heavens to Murgatroyd, I'm not!
are the best saturday afternoon drinking partners one will ever meet. They get you hyped up for the night. Telling grand stories and giving great advice.
Posts: 1375 Rank: 10 Joined:
12/7/2006
Location:
savannah, GA
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:02:08 AM
this article sucked fucking balls too. it's a giant plate of shit noodle spaghetti, lightly sprinkled with grade A german sausage bites. reading it was like falling into a well and there's a few shiney gold coins in the bottom of the well, and it's cool that i found them...BUT WHAT FUCKING USE ARE THEY WHEN I'M STUCK IN A FUCKING WELL?
Posts: 58 Rank: 67 Joined:
2/2/2007
Location:
New York, NY
Posted: 7/20/2007 10:27:57 AM
We have a very complete file on all of Ms. Christine's supervisors/bosses/employers and their comments, suggestions, propositions, remarks, etc. Not to mention videos of most of them with the tranny whore and her/his parakeet.
Oh, no, Christine will be employed at Dewey, Cheetum & Howe for as long as she likes. She may even own the place, soon.
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