Phat Phree Exclusive: The Lost Entry From the Diary Of Anne Frank! by Mike Polk and Patrick O'Connor
The timeless book The Diary of Anne Frank has touched millions of appreciative readers with its message of always seeking the best in people regardless of ones circumstances. The recent discovery of a final diary entry that had been removed from the original text has the literary world all abuzz. In The Phat Phree's on-going quest to educate and inspire, we are proud to be the first to release these historical lost pages.
Just another fun-filled day of being quiet and staying away from the windows. I swear, some times I get so totally bored up here that I just want to scream!
CRUSH ALERT!
Well its no big secret to you, diary, that I have been totally crushing on Peter Van Daan ever since we went into hiding. But lately its turned into a full fledged MEGA-CRUSH!!
Only you and my sister Margot know that I am hot for Peter, and if she tells anyone I will totally die!
Margot says she doesnt see whats so great about Peter and wanted to know why I like him so much. (Jealous much?) I told her that I like him because hes cute and kind of shy, and also because hes the only boy I have seen in three years. (duh!)
The first thing I am going to do when I get out of here is LAY OUT and score a KILLER TAN! I look like a ghost right now! Yuck!
Hey diary, pop quiz for you:
Q: What do you get when you put eight Jews in a tiny attic with no plumbing and limited hygiene products?
A: I dont know, but it sure stinks! None of us smells like a rose garden right now, and Im sure it doesnt help that we have open jars of our own stale urine strewn all over the place during the day. I hate it when its my turn to sneak downstairs at night to pour them out! GAG!
You know what I hate diary? Rationing.
The Gestapo are such jerks!
I cant wait until the Nazis are gone so that Peter and I can ride away on horses and live on a farm together somewhere.
Hold that thought diary. It sounds like there are people pounding on the attic door. Maybe its somebody here to tell us that the coast is clear and the war is over. Im going to go check it out! Be right back...
what is Mr. Van Daans first name Posted: 11/6/2006by: shelbi king plz we need help what is his name we can't find it help us plz beka & bee (p.s anne didn't have colors stupid) stupid jew Posted: 9/11/2006by: haha HAHAHAHA this was so funny, anne frank was a fucking loser, stupid bitch shoulda left when she had the chance not offensive Posted: 7/20/2006by: raubhi still not funny though. pretty bland. shit this lame belongs on cracked.com what the fuck is the matter with you ppl Posted: 6/25/2006by: Diane what the fuck is wrong with you. the diary of anne frank is no laughing matter the girl was fucking tortured and murdered at the hands of some goddamn bastard germans. how you can make a joke out of that is beyond me. like your article, 50 ppl who need to be beat, you ppl seriously need to get a life, i mean come on find something better to do you fuckin pricks. you all make me want to vomit till im dead. Error-thing Posted: 2/16/2006by: Blankety-blank Er...seems...incorrect...they had a bathroom...they just couldn't use it in the day... PRETTY FUNNY Posted: 12/21/2005by: Fleisch Pretty funny and good joke overall
But the couldve DEFINITELY done without that last joke....that wasnt funny at all and it was very tasteless....and didnt add anything to the overall joke of comparison between this writing and her real writing
Stupid move there at the end : D Posted: 12/15/2005by: Dapp german oven mitts... Hahahahaha Posted: 12/14/2005by: Pentameter This is only semi-awesome. Oh come on Posted: 11/24/2005by: adam I once did a jew.....I think she knew alot abou the dick. Nancy.. Posted: 11/20/2005by: John Cena get a grip. If you were on this site to begin with, read this article, and called it offensive..well then, you're a hypocrite. Why would you ever read such a pice if you weren't prepared for how you might feel after. For the record, the piece was funny but not a classic by any means. I just think it's hysterical that people get so uptight about it. Join big girl world and learn that nothing is clean and friendly nowadays. It has to have an edge or it's worthless. It was a clever idea and done decently.
