By now I'm sure you've seen the new Dove ads. You have, right? Oh good God, they NEED to be discussed.
Unilever's Dove brand has recently embarked on a "global integrated-marketing campaign that undermines the basic proposition of decades of beauty-care advertising by telling women and young girls they're beautiful just the way they are."
So that's it then, huh ladies? You're throwing in the towel? It's ads like these that are encouraging you to do so. As a self-admitted superficial male...I no-likey.
I was walking down the street the other day and almost got hit by a bus while running away in complete hysterics from this ad, which ambushed me from the side of a telephone boof:
What the fuck? I'm minding my own Ps and Qs, rockin' out to some tunes and Lindsay, the amazon woman, strikes a pose and scares the begeezuz out of me. If Dove body wash is gonna make me look like that, not only will I cease squirting it on the loofa, but I'm suin' the muthafuckaz.
Fernando Acosta, a brand director for Dove soap in North America was recently quoted as saying, "Women are inundated by unattainable beauty stereotypes." I know Fernando, this a good thing. It keeps 'em on their toes...and the stairmaster...and the elliptical. Messieur Acosta better hope we never cross paths. Because if we do, I'm gonna kick the living shit out of him.
If we tell women these stereotypes are unattainable...then of course they're going to believe us. What happened to the good old days when plumped-out teenage girls would cry themselves to sleep while clutching a perfectly-proportioned Barbie doll, dreaming of the day when those countless hours in the gym and numerous bouts with eating disorders would finally take effect?
Barbie. Now there's a role model and a body for which all women should be shooting. Remember the smear campaign which targeted poor and innocent Barbie a few years back? It stated that if she were a real person, she would tip over. They're all just a bunch of playah hatin' femi-nazis.
As reported in Crain's magazine, Dove is "going beyond marketing in the conventional sense toward social advocacy, with their online campaign site, http://www.campaignforrealbeauty.com, proclaiming it 'aims to change the status quo and offer in its place a broader, healthier, more democratic view of beauty.'"
I'm speechless. Just kidding. But I am overcome with a seasickness-level nausea at the present moment. A more democratic view of beauty? I'm not even sure what that means, but it sounds more like a socialist view to me.
In a free market / capitalist society, those with superior intellect and/or resources rise to the top of the food chain. It's a little principle called "survival of the fittest," as developed by my boy Chucky Darwin.
The women on these billboards? Yeah, they're not the fittest. So let's keep 'em where they belong: waxing pathetic about their own insecurity and mediocrity to their over-priced shrinks while popping Prozac and Zoloft like tic tacs.
Listen, the world is filled with ugly, mishapen and overweight individuals. That's what makes us all individuals. However, and trust me on this one, nobody really likes to be reminded of this reality. We prefer to live in a fantasy land where we elevate the beautiful up onto runways, project them onto the big screen and plaster them all over magazines.
This radical contrarian idea by Dove: to encourage women to accept their insecurities by showing them as they are, may go down in history as a stroke of marketing genius. But I believe it, ah, will not. Why? Because this groundbreaking global ad campaign for the company's soaps, shampoos and skin-firming creams attempts to comfort and coax women into thinking that they should be happy looking just the way they are.
How nice of them. But if that's the case, WHY THE FUCK are these now content women going to buy any of Dove's beauty products?
Whee! Posted: 9/29/2005by: AD I was a bit surprised when I heard about the ads to begin with, since none of the women are actually fat - no inner tubes, no cankles, no sausage arms, no saddlebags, no double chins. And I can guarentee you that none of their pelvises would shatter if you stuck your cock in them, unlike the typical models we see on billboards and whatnot.
True, it's not a smart idea to be insinuating that already-chunky types should just be happy about being chunky, because it's and unsightly health risk - not only to them, but to the poor passer-by who have to look at their dimpled love handles oozing out over their ultra low-rise size 16s. Be responsible for yourself and hit the gym. Hell.... Posted: 9/10/2005by: RC ....if they're happy looking like that, why even wash?! They probably break into a sweat just shaving their legs....sweatpants are so much easier. WHO GIVES A FUCK! Posted: 8/24/2005by: ANWAR THE GREAT Who really cares about this product! Look at those broads! I will screw all of them until my joint fell off. They are not dime pieces but people believe and lets agree we have seen worse!!!!!!!!! Imagine who they could have used. Maybe a 300 pounder. Now picture that and tell me how do those so called big uns look to you now. DAMN GOOD!!!! Learn a thing or two Posted: 8/23/2005by: Jimmy Success Check out the smiles on these chicks! They're far happier than a lot of you guys are sounding!
Besides, some stunning, slim babe isn't going to gain forty pounds because she sees these adverts and thinks "ah, what the hell!" All that will happen is that the girls who are already plump will feel better about themselves, and I don't see anything wrong with that! It's Obvious! Posted: 8/23/2005by: Matt It's obvious what Unilever is trying to do. By pretending to make bigger chicks feel better about themselves, they are in reality selling more soap. Not by appealling to a broader consumer, but who uses more soap? Big chicks, you guessed it!
Dear Blondie (3d from right) Posted: 8/23/2005by: Frisco Ho How the H-ll did you get into this picture? I have known fat women in my time (yes I have), and you are not a fatty. However, if this is what you aspire to, I do have some pork rinds and Old Milwaukee back at my place . . . prentenda.. Posted: 8/23/2005by: deuce "don't tri (flex triceps) to get by (flex biceps) or you might get TRAPPED (flex trap muscles)."
for pics of him and other retards who waste time in the gym:
http://www.trapstraps.com/product_information_tips.shtml Guarantee Posted: 8/23/2005by: Prentenda It is a virtual lock, that 2 out of every 3 people who are bashing these manatee type chicks, are fat fucks themselves. Which makes this comment section a lot like a chat room. Ugly, fat losers writing words their bodies can't cash. Quit reading this comment, put the Chocolate shake down and get your fat ass to the gym!
By the way, I am the 1 of 3. Oh the "ONE" Posted: 8/23/2005by: KW I wouldn't do the black girl. I'm down with the "swirl," but I draw the line at milky. All but one... Posted: 8/23/2005by: KW I'm back for one more thing. Well, two. "A little plump" is just fine. BBW is over-the-top for describing these women. Plus-size maybe. They really arent that big. Hit it hard!
Two: PapaSmurf, you are close. There should be weight, lazyness, and intelligence tests before handing out the "non-sterile" genitals. That way we wouldn't have Molly, STEVE, or the Gotti boys. (I hate myself for sitting through a whole half hour of that stupid fucking show.)
